Can a Catholic attend a Protestant service with family?

  • Thread starter Thread starter SavedByFaith
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

SavedByFaith

Guest
I am getting very close to a positive decision concerning conversion. My question involves keeping the peace in my home. My wife is Methodist and I do not feel that she is open to conversion. May I attend Mass on Saturday evening (my local parish has that service, I don’t know if they all do or not) and then attend an occasional Sunday AM service at a Methodist church with my wife? I understand that I could not take communion at the Methodist church? If so, that is no big deal. I just need to know if I have any way of keeping some manner of peace in the home and still follow my convictions concerning the Catholic church. Anyone else ever faced the same dilemma? If so, how did you deal with it?
 
40.png
SavedByFaith:
I am getting very close to a positive decision concerning conversion. My question involves keeping the peace in my home. My wife is Methodist and I do not feel that she is open to conversion. May I attend Mass on Saturday evening (my local parish has that service, I don’t know if they all do or not) and then attend an occasional Sunday AM service at a Methodist church with my wife? I understand that I could not take communion at the Methodist church? If so, that is no big deal. I just need to know if I have any way of keeping some manner of peace in the home and still follow my convictions concerning the Catholic church. Anyone else ever faced the same dilemma? If so, how did you deal with it?
Of course as ong as it does not interfere with your atending Mass. You should not participate as a liturgical minister, like reader, etc. You should also never receive communion, since it’s not a valid Eucharist.
 
Our situations are parallel. My wife is sincerely Lutheran and we have five kids, adding another dimension to the dilemma. Nothing has ever so effectively moved me toward the Catholic Church as this struggle has. I attend Mass on Saturday or Sunday eve whenever I can, so that we can also attend her church as a family. This seems to be the situation God has placed both of us in (meaning you and me), and faithfulness to the Church need not be compromised by solicitude for our families. There is much in this Protestant service which I can benefit from. (The hardest thing isn’t the repeated sermons on how your behavior has no effect on your salvation–it’s the very infrequent proclamation that Mary was sinful, and honored to much by Catholics; I nearly walked out twice with my kids at this). There are pages more to say…
 
40.png
SavedByFaith:
I am getting very close to a positive decision concerning conversion. My question involves keeping the peace in my home. My wife is Methodist and I do not feel that she is open to conversion. May I attend Mass on Saturday evening (my local parish has that service, I don’t know if they all do or not) and then attend an occasional Sunday AM service at a Methodist church with my wife? I understand that I could not take communion at the Methodist church? If so, that is no big deal. I just need to know if I have any way of keeping some manner of peace in the home and still follow my convictions concerning the Catholic church. Anyone else ever faced the same dilemma? If so, how did you deal with it?
One thing: re your conversion decision: you don’t mean you would proclaim to be true that which you don’t believe true, for the sake of your family? The unity you seek would be built on a lie. Don’t use wrong to achieve right. I often see no visible way my own situation will be resolved, but I’m secure that affirming the Catholic faith (with humility, not arrogance) and NOT denying my children the sacraments, is a means of following the Lord, even if I fail to follow him in a hundred other ways.
John
 
You can only attend in specific sitautions such as marriage and funerals. Outside that don’t attend
40.png
SavedByFaith:
I am getting very close to a positive decision concerning conversion. My question involves keeping the peace in my home. My wife is Methodist and I do not feel that she is open to conversion. May I attend Mass on Saturday evening (my local parish has that service, I don’t know if they all do or not) and then attend an occasional Sunday AM service at a Methodist church with my wife? I understand that I could not take communion at the Methodist church? If so, that is no big deal. I just need to know if I have any way of keeping some manner of peace in the home and still follow my convictions concerning the Catholic church. Anyone else ever faced the same dilemma? If so, how did you deal with it?
 
john ennis:
One thing: re your conversion decision: you don’t mean you would proclaim to be true to that which you don’t believe true, for the sake of your family?
No, if I decide to convert, I will convert no matter what. I just want to know in advance if I have any method of keeping the peace or if I am just in for a rocky ride. If it is hard, then it is hard… There seems to be a lot of disparity in the answers that I am seeing in this thread. Everyone does not seem to be of like mind on this question.
 
re: you’re not getting consistent opinions:
No, I believe Br. Rich and Spaceghost and I all concur that you can go, as long as you continue to go to Mass and don’t commune in a non-Catholic church (which is essentially professing something you don’t believe).

Peace.

John
 
As a convert whose husband (and two out of the three children) has remained evangelical, it’s something which I had to check out with my priest, and other authorities. The prohibition against attending save for weddings and funerals is now long out of date. I go with my husband on Christmas Day and Easter Sunday (because I’ve already been to Midnight Mass/the Vigil), and sometimes for the evening service. I don’t take Communion, and have to put up with a lot of very annoying stuff, but it means that Paul feels I’m not entirely divorced from him spiritually.

Sue
 
40.png
Teresita:
As a convert whose husband (and two out of the three children) has remained evangelical, it’s something which I had to check out with my priest, and other authorities. The prohibition against attending save for weddings and funerals is now long out of date. I go with my husband on Christmas Day and Easter Sunday (because I’ve already been to Midnight Mass/the Vigil), and sometimes for the evening service. I don’t take Communion, and have to put up with a lot of very annoying stuff, but it means that Paul feels I’m not entirely divorced from him spiritually.

Sue
Thank you, this sounds like a reasonable answer and I appreciate your letting me know that this came about as a result of your own conversion. It seems that perhaps I should verify with the “local” parish in case there are “regional” differences.
 
Intercommunion

Until the differences between Catholics and Protestants are healed, a real “intercommunion” cannot take place. Moreover, out of respect for the differences in belief, a Catholic is obliged to refrain from receiving communion at a Protestant service, and likewise, Protestants, at a Catholic Mass.
I remember once I participated at the funeral of a friend at a Protestant church, which included a communion service. The minister invited everyone to receive communion. I refrained out of respect for their beliefs and my own: I did not fully accept all the beliefs or practices of their particular denomination, nor did those members accept all that the Roman Catholic Church believed.

Therefore, to receive communion would be to state, “I am in communion with them,” when I was not. Worse yet, had I partaken, I would have received something sacred which should bind me as part of their communion — at least from a Catholic perspective — when in fact I have never participated in one of their services since then.

We must remember that to receive communion does not depend simply on what a person individually believes. To receive communion aligns a person to a church, identifies him as a member of that church, and binds him to what that church teaches. By observing the Church’s regulations concerning receiving Holy Communion, we will better appreciate the gift of the Blessed Sacrament, respect each other’s beliefs, and work towards unity — here is true charity. Ignoring these regulations will only build a false sense of communion and a shallow expression of love, which is really a great act against charity.

***Fr. Saunders is pastor of Our Lady of Hope Parish in Potomac Falls and a professor of catechetics and theology at Notre Dame Graduate School in Alexandria.

 
My situation being quite different from yours. . .I’m not married. . .my conversion has not “divided a household” so to speak, though my parents and a huge majority of my family are still very staunch Southern Baptists. Having come out of that tradition and being very bound to it because that’s where I grew up (I was the most Baptist Baptist you ever saw, and my parents still actively “evangelize” Catholics) it is a very hard situation to be in. I can tell you that even if I wanted to attend some services to try and bring some “unity” between myself and my family, I couldn’t. Knowing that I came out of those teachings and doctrines because I found them false, and knowing the vast difference between what the Church teaches about worship and what they believe worship to be. . .I couldn’t in good concience attend. I would be constantly subjecting myself to false teaching and lending a false sense of unity to my family. Just because we are in the same place physically together does not mean we are united to one another. Just some thoughts on the matter. . .but again, I understand that a marriage with children situation is quite different.
 
Hello joandarc,

The old saying “God move’s in mysterious ways” obviously has some validity.
Take for instance your situation, Jesus must of had some intervention to push you toward the Catholic church.
Perhaps, you hold the key to one day bringing your family to unity with the church.

However, also understand that everything take’s time, when the Catholic’s are sent on missionary work to a native area a lot of time generally transpire’s before a religious bond is formed.

Consider yourself very fortunate but also allow your family to make their decision.
The other churches (Protestant) are also here for a reason.
I believe one day a unity will form where all the major denominations will find unity with the Catholic church.

I will always recall a beautiful passage/verse that Jesus said:

“All that is required is to simply believe”

Mankind does not need to jump through hoops to be saved, just “believe” and everything else will fall into place.
 
Our situations are quite similar. I was a very happy Methodist until I started asking questions about faith and didn’t like the answers I was getting in the Methodist Church. So, I started attending an RCIA in 2000 and my wife didn’t take it well. Arguments ended in threats of leaving, etc., although I think she was just fed up with me.

I continued to go to the Methodist church, although I didn’t wear my unhappiness very well. She kept telling me I looked bored.

This went on for three years, One day, in 2003 my wife asked me about what made me happy going to Mass, even though I couldn’t receive the Eucharist. I really didn’t do a good job of explaning it, but she went once or twice anyway. She noticed the changes in me were very positive, and after three years, she knew I wasn’t going through a phase.

I introduced her to the RCIA director. She signed up and I went with her for my third tour through RCIA and we both, along with our daughter, converted at the last Easter Vigil.

I can’t remember who said about teaching scripture, when all else fails, use words, because I let her see what kind of person I was becoming, and fortunately, the Catholic Church held the same answers for her, too.
 
Hi bigblueman,

What a beautiful story you provided that is full of hope!

With everything important in life come’s controversy.
I imagine your magnificent story also came at the cost of both tension and indifferences.
However, through your desire along with the love of Jesus you and your family prevailed.

The majority of other churches believe the Catholic church is full of rules and regulations.
However, through serious study one become’s aware that the rules are all positive!
There is no “gray area” that the majority of other churches prefer to walk within.

God bless you and your family.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top