Can a catholic / baptist relationship work?

[OraLabora]

A Catholic/Baptist relationship could work, if either one is not serious about his/her faith.

It would probably be more difficult, if both are serious (or if one is serious, and the other is becoming more serious) about his/her faith.

I disagree. It is not a question of seriousness about one’s faith. It is a question of maturity. A person can be very serious about their faith but it would not work because they are spiritually immature and spiritually insecure.

On the other hand a person who is serious about their faith and mature, would be the best combination. Neither give up their religious identity, but know how to respect the other and play on the common points.

I say this from experience being a Catholic married to an evangelical Anglican. We have both been serious about our faiths but only recently have we developed sufficient maturity to make it really work for us.

The key was not one or the other diluting his or her faith, it was developing spiritual maturity, and feeling secure in one’s faith walk.

A person who is not serious about their faith basically doesn’t have a faith, and I’ve been there as well as I am a revert (since 14 years now). That doesn’t work so well either.

Basically, now, we recognize that we both believe in Christ, and work from there. My wife does a great deal of spiritual reading (I do as well but maybe less than her), and certainly reads a lot of Catholic sources. Her favorite is Jean Vanier. We respect that we have different prayer styles, and attend different churches with very different liturgies. Neither tries to goad the other into saying “mine is better than yours”.

In the case of the OP though, it sounds like the boyfriend is toying with her, and that’s a sign of lack of maturity. Though over time it could work, it will be a rough ride between now and then, and it will take a strong will.

 

[TrueLight]

I disagree. It is not a question of seriousness about one’s faith. It is a question of maturity. A person can be very serious about their faith but it would not work because they are spiritually immature and spiritually insecure.

On the other hand a person who is serious about their faith and mature, would be the best combination. Neither give up their religious identity, but know how to respect the other and play on the common points.

I say this from experience being a Catholic married to an evangelical Anglican. We have both been serious about our faiths but only recently have we developed sufficient maturity to make it really work for us.

The key was not one or the other diluting his or her faith, it was developing spiritual maturity, and feeling secure in one’s faith walk.

A person who is not serious about their faith basically doesn’t have a faith, and I’ve been there as well as I am a revert (since 14 years now). That doesn’t work so well either.

Basically, now, we recognize that we both believe in Christ, and work from there. My wife does a great deal of spiritual reading (I do as well but maybe less than her), and certainly reads a lot of Catholic sources. Her favorite is Jean Vanier. We respect that we have different prayer styles, and attend different churches with very different liturgies. Neither tries to goad the other into saying “mine is better than yours”.

In the case of the OP though, it sounds like the boyfriend is toying with her, and that’s a sign of lack of maturity. Though over time it could work, it will be a rough ride between now and then, and it will take a strong will.

I don’t agree it’s about spiritual maturity. Anglicans are very close to Catholics. An Evangelical, who is serious about their faith, tend to see the Catholic Church as not on the right path to put it mildly.

If one sees Marian Theology as idolatry, no spiritual maturity is going to make you open to having your kids be raised in the Catholic Church.

 

[Lutgardis]

I don’t agree it’s about spiritual maturity. Anglicans are very close to Catholics. An Evangelical, who is serious about their faith, tend to see the Catholic Church as not on the right path to put it mildly. If one sees Marian Theology as idolatry, no spiritual maturity is going to make you open to having your kids be raised in the Catholic Church.

It is about spiritual maturity An Evangelical who is serious about his or her faith would not erroneously stigmatize his or her Catholic spouse as a “Mary worshiper.” I am Catholic. My husband is Protestant. When he asked me about this issue with Mary (as we know the “hottest” issue with Protestants), I explained to him that we only worship God (Latria) We give higher veneration to Mary (Hyperdulia), than the veneration we give to the Saints (Dulia). That answer satisfied him because he accepted that what I said represented the true teaching of the Catholic Church. The key in your statement is “IF one sees Marian theology as idolatry”. Catholics do not worship Mary; a respectful, mature spouse, if he or she looked into the matter, would have to concede that we do not.

 

[7_Sorrows]

i have a best friend who is a baptist. i converted to the Catholic faith over 3 years ago
and we tell each other that we accept each other in our own individual faiths. she and her husband are very strict Baptists, but i have sent her certain Catholic literature to read and she tells me that she read it.
i was raised in the Episcopal church so i could never see myself wanting to be Baptist and i don’t think i could ever marry a Baptist or someone outside of my faith.
i agree with the poster who said it is good to talk this over with your priest.

 

[PJM]

=RweThereYet;8171572]it totally depends.

If the Catholic is one of those not so really Catholic kind, then it can work.

If theCatholic is enthused about his or her faith, as i am, it would NOT work unless the Baaptist converted.

I would never marry a Baptist.

i would never marry anyone who was not an enthused, catechized Roman Catholic

A WORD OF CLAIRIFICATION SEEMS NEEDED HERE. One is either a fully practicing Catholic or IS NOT A Catholic at all. It’s kinda like being a “little bit pregnant.” Just not possible as a way to get to heaven.

So anyone who would endanger their own salvation and that of their offsrping by selectively practicing Catholism is no better than one w/o religion or no faith at all.

God gives us TWO choices: God is in charge or you are in charge. NO splitting the responsibilities.

God Bles,
Pat

 

[TrueLight]

It is about spiritual maturity An Evangelical who is serious about his or her faith would not erroneously stigmatize his or her Catholic spouse as a “Mary worshiper.” I am Catholic. My husband is Protestant. When he asked me about this issue with Mary (as we know the “hottest” issue with Protestants), I explained to him that we only worship God (Latria) We give higher veneration to Mary (Hyperdulia), than the veneration we give to the Saints (Dulia). That answer satisfied him because he accepted that what I said represented the true teaching of the Catholic Church. The key in your statement is “IF one sees Marian theology as idolatry”. Catholics do not worship Mary; a respectful, mature spouse, if he or she looked into the matter, would have to concede that we do not.

Again, I disagree. That’s like saying if you’re a mature Catholic you will be fine with female priests, ABC etc.

I can’t speak about your husband because I know nothing of his faith or denomination.

There are all types of Protestants who believe different things.

If a Protestant belongs to a denomination that believes Catholicism is wrong, yet he doesn’t believe that, he is a liberal part of his denomination. If he were orthodox, obviously, he would believe what his denomination teaches.

Also, a person may be at one point in their spiritual life (maybe backslidden, as they say). 2 Years down the line, he may go back to believing all the tenets of his denomination.

Like it or not, there are some denominations which are staunchly anti-Catholic.

 

[gibsonM1]

If this is just a girlfriend, boyfriend relationship then you should have no problem as long as you both understand that you have the right to chose which church you want to attend.

However if you get married then the husband has the privilege to demand that you ,your child and any future childern attend whatever Church he choses and being Baptist would not be a bad thing

gibson M1

 

[wmscott]

I was once a Southern Baptist who lived in a spiritual wasteland for many years. It took a good Catholic Lady to save my life and return me back onto the path to God. That was 30 years ago this year.

 

[gibsonM1]

I was once a Southern Baptist who lived in a spiritual wasteland for many years. It took a good Catholic Lady to save my life and return me back onto the path to God. That was 30 years ago this year.

I could almost say the same thing except I was a catholic the first forty years of my life going to Mass and confession but in a sea of alcohal and drugs untill I had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ in a Baptist Church

gibsonm1

 

[wmscott]

I could almost say the same thing except I was a catholic the first forty years of my life going to Mass and confession but in a sea of alcohal and drugs untill I had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ in a Baptist Church

gibsonm1

Good for you

 

[MarisaJean]

If this is just a girlfriend, boyfriend relationship then you should have no problem as long as you both understand that you have the right to chose which church you want to attend.

However if you get married then the husband has the privilege to demand that you ,your child and any future childern attend whatever Church he choses and being Baptist would not be a bad thing

gibson M1

Ok now you guys have ME confused! This is a man I eventually want to marry, but I want to have the whole religion thing worked out before we get to that point. He agreed to marry me in the catholic church but has doubts on raising our children with catholic beliefs because he has different views from the baptist church. I don’t want to argue with him 10 years down the road when our children have to make their first communion and daddy doesn’t think it’s important. I want to figure it out how so we can start getting on the same page! I believe a marriage works best when two people have the same beliefs and can teach their children together about faith.

And just a question but why if he was my husband would he have the privilege to demand where we go to church? I know long ago a husband was fully incharge of the household but I do not believe that is how it has to be today. I have been on my own for years and have raised a daughter on my own for 5 years, I can’t imagine myself being with a man that would demand me to do anything! I don’t think love works like that.

I really didn’t want my question to start arguments on the forum. I know many people have different views and opinions on this, which is why I asked the question. I wanted to hear from both sides and what people thought because I am at a point where I need some advice and I don’t have very many practicing Catholics around me to ask. I have a meeting set up with my priest so hopefully he can shed some spiritual light on the situation.

I want to thank everyone who responded to my question. God Bless you all

 

[PJM]

=MarisaJean;8175617]Ok now you guys have ME confused! This is a man I eventually want to marry, but I want to have the whole religion thing worked out before we get to that point. He agreed to marry me in the catholic church but has doubts on raising our children with catholic beliefs because he has different views from the baptist church. I don’t want to argue with him 10 years down the road when our children have to make their first communion and daddy doesn’t think it’s important. I want to figure it out how so we can start getting on the same page! I believe a marriage works best when two people have the same beliefs and can teach their children together about faith.

And just a question but why if he was my husband would he have the privilege to demand where we go to church? I know long ago a husband was fully incharge of the household but I do not believe that is how it has to be today. I have been on my own for years and have raised a daughter on my own for 5 years, I can’t imagine myself being with a man that would demand me to do anything! I don’t think love works like that.

I really didn’t want my question to start arguments on the forum. I know many people have different views and opinions on this, which is why I asked the question. I wanted to hear from both sides and what people thought because I am at a point where I need some advice and I don’t have very many practicing Catholics around me to ask. I have a meeting set up with my priest so hopefully he can shed some spiritual light on the situation.

I want to thank everyone who responded to my question. God Bless you all

SORRY, I TRULY AM, BUT that is NOT how it works. In order to be married in the CC BOTH must agree [a personal covenant with God] that the children WILL BE [not maybe] raised in the CC.

PLEASE discusss this with your priest before doing anything.

God Bless you,

Pat

 

[OraLabora]

A WORD OF CLAIRIFICATION SEEMS NEEDED HERE. One is either a fully practicing Catholic or IS NOT A Catholic at all. It’s kinda like being a “little bit pregnant.” Just not possible as a way to get to heaven.

With all due respect, this is complete nonsense. The Church herself determines that baptism alone makes one Catholic and for life. One can be excommunicated, one can be out of grace, but a Catholic who is excommunicated remains Catholic and a Catholic not in a state of grace remains Catholic.

Catholics are at different stages of their spiritual journeys. Saints are those who are recognized to have “made it” to the highest possible level of spiritual completeness on this Earth.

All of us who are not saints, fall significantly short in some way or another.

I would go so far as to say, that your very uncharitable statement towards those who don’t seem to “get it” as fully as you claim to, should give you pause to reflect on your own spiritual march.

I certainly know I am very far from being a saint. I am sympathetic to those Catholics who 1) are in the same boat and 2) recognize it. I have little patience with the sort of arrogance that says what you say above.

 

[Allegra]

My opinion is probably not a popular one, but I don’t think I could make it work. The Bible encourages wives to be submissive to their husbands and husbands to be submissive to God. If a man doesn’t believe in the Catholic church, I just don’t see how I could do that. How could I allow my children to be led away from my faith? That being said, I know many people who have made it work and are happy.

 

[7_Sorrows]

With all due respect, this is complete nonsense. The Church herself determines that baptism alone makes one Catholic and for life. One can be excommunicated, one can be out of grace, but a Catholic who is excommunicated remains Catholic and a Catholic not in a state of grace remains Catholic.

Catholics are at different stages of their spiritual journeys. Saints are those who are recognized to have “made it” to the highest possible level of spiritual completeness on this Earth.

All of us who are not saints, fall significantly short in some way or another.

I would go so far as to say, that your very uncharitable statement towards those who don’t seem to “get it” as fully as you claim to, should give you pause to reflect on your own spiritual march.

I certainly know I am very far from being a saint. I am sympathetic to those Catholics who 1) are in the same boat and 2) recognize it. I have little patience with the sort of arrogance that says what you say above.

thank you. i feel the same way. i thought maybe i was the only one offended by that post.

 

[Beautiful_Day]

Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated

It can only work if he is willing to raise any future children Catholic. You are obligated to marry in the church and raise children in the church. If he is willing to do that, then it can work though it will still be very hard. Children that grow up listening to their parents argue over religion often grow up not believing in God. Now even if he does say he is willing to do that, I’d be cautious. What if he changes his mind? What if he resents you for this later? Personally I’d end it. You may think I’m just throwing it out there and it is easy for me to say, but I’m not. I’m speaking from experience. I was once engaged to a wonderful devout Christian that is Southern Baptist. As the engagement went on we realized we couldn’t agree on how to raise children. We tried to mesh everything and it was incompatible. Thank you God for the FOCUS test that we took at my parish. It showed that we were compatible in every area EXCEPT religion. It was dead on. To make a long story short. We broke up and I found a Catholic man to marry. (and when we took the FOCUS test we were dead on in everything especially religion.) Oh how sweet it is to have a husband that prays the rosary with me.

 

[dskysmine]

Wow…

I’m sort of in the same situation but reversed.
My girlfriend is studying to become a Youth Baptist Pastor (I know it’s strange but bear with me) and we have talked about this but we haven’t yet “signed” anything about it. Her main points are that the children have to live a Christian life. She is Ok with them being raised Catholic, she only asked me if it is possible for them to ask for the Baptism instead of us making them have it as babies. I am talking to a priest about this because I’ve heard that we have to baptize our children ASAP.
It’s cool that because she has Church History in her Seminary and they learn a lot about Early Church Fathers and she even asked me to go with her to see the Pope when he is in Berlin (it surprised me a lot). She understands that we don’t worship Mary, I think the main issues she isn’t so comfortable with are regarding the female role, Baptism as babies and homossexuality (because of personal experience with them). She has even looked into NFP (which is something most of her friends mock Catholics about). We have gone to mass together and I went to a couple of her services (though I never went to one where she was preaching). I really hope that we can make the relationship work even if we might not agree about everything. I’m trusting God about everything =) and try to let Him lead me where He wants me to be, so I’m not forcing anything.

 

[GaryTaylor]

“She is Ok with them being raised Catholic, she only asked me if it is possible for them to ask for the Baptism instead of us making them have it as babies”

Bad move, so you will allow a child in this day and age to walk around un-baptised till ‘they’ get around to asking you?

I would get this done ASAP for it nothing to play around with.

 

[joclucsylv]

Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated

It would never work for me. I hold the Church way to close to my heart. That is just me though.

 

[rinnie]

Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated

I don’t know, I mean anything is possible for God, but my BIL came from a Baptist Church and became Catholic and lately I can see that he never really accepted the authorty of the Pope.

He thinks he knows more then the Church, and continues to take scripture out of context, and I personally could kill him at times.

But I just try to consider the source. I guess it depends on the personality of the person and how educated they would become in the Catholic faith.

But from what you are saying the way he is acting now, I would really think about his. I hate to say this but sometimes God does talk to us in mysterious ways. But I am not saying he is warning you, only you can figure it out.

You are in my prayers.