Can a Catholic go to any church for Confession

[TheLittleLady]

Overworked pastor, stretched between parish, mission parish, school, etc. relies on his team to do the right thing. There are also times when the pastor is not a native English speaker and he may not even really grasp what is being said by the over-zealous staffer.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

If the re director has to force the kids to go, can’t he or she arrange a number of priests to come to a religious education session? Then the kids are “forced” to go, but without taking names (and taking away anonymity). That’s basically what happens at our parochial school. All the kids go to confession on the same day, done.

 

[TheLittleLady]

What about the two kids who are home with flu and the four who just did not show up?

In a perfect world, this would work. In the trenches, life happens.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Still seems better than making them gives their names to go to Confession! That just seems really wrong to me. Is it against Canon law?

 

[1ke]

Perhaps where you live. But this is not universally true. There are a lot of places where there is no “team” and the pastor gives wide lattitude to his staff, he’s busy they don’t go to him with every little thing.

Of course most DREs aren’t trying to make people miserable, but there are many who act like religious ed is their kingdom and they rule over it.

The DRE before me was that way. She’d do ridiculous stuff, make demands, be rude, etc., and the parents and teachers would get upset and then the pastor who was here at the time backed her and let her do whatever she wanted. Apparently they lost a lot of families from CCD because she was such a controlling tyrant. Her own sisters stopped teaching religious ed it was so bad, and even they couldn’t get through to her.

It’s differenr everywhere. I’ve talked to a lot of DREs at inservice, and most are kind and reasonable but others are downright crazy. I have 4 new families this year because they’ve fled a nearby parish’s program due to poor treatment, rude behavior or ridiculous requirements. Especially my family who have a 4th grader who needs FHC and a 4 year old who needs to be baptized— the other parish DRE was really rude to them and made them feel terrible… they already know they fell down on the job and haven’t been consistent and are trying to come back, make it right, get their kids in RE, get
the sacraments back in progress. Why act like that towards them, make it difficult and embarrassing?

 

[CilladeRoma]

I have seen and heard of this kind of behavior in the past.
What I don’t understand is why we allow it to go on?
In my diocese, we have a department of evangelization and catechesis- they make the rules/guidelines for the diocese. Those who are in leadership roles in parishes are held to standards and the Pastor is the first line of defense.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING happens without the Pastor’s approval.
The information is also available to people online. There should be absolutely no surprises when it comes to faith formation and sacramental prep.

My experience is that parents don’t want to be bothered following the guidelines set forth, and then when they are told, “Sorry, it must be done this way”, they cry and whine and talk about how mean/nasty the DRE is because they didn’t get their way.

If parents would put half as much support into the faith formation of their children as they do on having them play sports or musical instruments- DRE’s wouldn’t have to make all sorts of accommodations to get the requirements done.

We need to start actually catechizing young people, not just Sacramentalizing them.
And that is where parents need to step up. They have no problem following rules/guidelines in any other facet of their children’s lives, why do we let them get away with it for faith formation?

 

[Tulitas]

AMEN. Yes.
The priest has to be able to affirm to his Bishop that the kids are prepared (in a state of grace to receive the Sacrament) and ready. IF that means they show up at a particular, well equipped with plenty of confessors on a certain day, that’s how they accomplish it.
It’s for the good of the kids. Why worry about this? Trust me, when you have a class of 200 and they go to various parishes…it takes some organization. Likely this was a directive of the Pastor. DRE’s have a very difficult job as it is.
Our of the few hundred kids that have been in my Confirmation classes over the last 8 years, about 95% don’t even go to confession, or have not been since their First Confession, DESPITE the fact that part of the curriculum is a review of How to Go to Confession every Lenten season in all grades, 2-12.

 

[Tulitas]

And pastors make arrangements with those, no problem.

 

[Tulitas]

Forcing? What are they enrolled for?

They have names, People are making this into a big drama. It’s not.
Unsubscribing.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Anyone know if this would be against Canon law? To be forced to give your name and time to go to Confession, in order to receive Confirmation? Isn’t it a right to go to Confession anonymously?

 

[TheLittleLady]

Confession by Appointment and Face-to-Face - Canon Law Made EasyCanon Law Made Easy

This explains the laws wrt anonymous confession

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Okay, well , there was no mention in the article of names, would one assume that since anonymous confession is a right, then requiring people to give their name (and time slot!) would be against Canon law?

 

[1ke]

What I don’t understand is why we allow it to go on?

Because people are people.

In my diocese, we have a department of evangelization and catechesis-

We have one in my diocese too, most all diocese have such an office.

they make the rules/guidelines for the diocese. Those who are in leadership roles in parishes are held to standards and the Pastor is the first line of defense.

That is a little bit of an overstatement. yes, there are guidelines, but they are just that. Remember, pastors have wide latitude and authority in their parishes. The diocesan office of catechesis has no authority over them.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING happens without the Pastor’s approval.

If that is true in your parish, you are quite unique in the world.

My experience is that parents don’t want to be bothered following the guidelines set forth, and then when they are told, “Sorry, it must be done this way”, they cry and whine and talk about how mean/nasty the DRE is because they didn’t get their way.

That isn’t my experience with parents.

 

[CilladeRoma]

That is a little bit of an overstatement. yes, there are guidelines, but they are just that. Remember, pastors have wide latitude and authority in their parishes. The diocesan office of catechesis has no authority over them.

No overstatement at all.
We got a new Bishop 3 years ago.
He has made new guidelines for Faith Formation and Sacramental Prep.
Pastors and DRE’s have to use one of the 4 curriculums that have been approved and must follow very strict guidelines on what is to be covered and what learning outcomes should be every year.
He wants to make sure that our children are being properly catechized and saw that the old way of allowing latitude was not working. So he fixed it. I am not sure if it will work, as it’s only our first year with the new system, but most priests I know are very on board with the new way. It takes some burden off of them when coming up with the correct resources and expectations.

 

[PeterT]

Thank you for your reply. Just to be clear, I understand the requirement to attend Confession as part of Confirmation prep. I agree with the importance of Confession. I use the sacrament often myself. In the past the children had at the option to attend Confession during a time when their Catechist would be available to assist with any questions they might have before or after Confession. Often times as their Catechist I would pray their penance with them if they asked and didn’t know the words to the prayers…it happens more than you think. But they children had the option to just attend Confession on their own and just give me a date for the form.

I have a BIG problem with the DRE REQUIRING the children to sign up on an online site for a specific time and date. There would be no problem for the priest to know who he was hearing. We only have one priest. And the DRE has announced to the group before just who should be going to Confession and who she has seen there. It is embarrassing and does cause kids to not want to go. The DRE has a very bad relationship with the children and this will not help.

There is no “huge line” for Confession at my church. I have never experienced more than three people EVER unless I bring in my family…

Part of my job as a Catechist is to teach the children what rights they have in the church and the children should know that they can go to any priest for Confession and they have the right for it to be anonymous. Am I right? Is this protected by Canon Law?

I would ask that you have patience and understanding about what your DRE is trying to accomplish: to ensure all candidates for Confirmation go to confession at least one time before they’re confirmed.

As a catechist myself, I’m fully aware of the rampant dishonesty in our society itself and very unfortunately that includes too many Catholic families, especially in regards to their children fulling their requirements to receive the sacraments (First Communion and Confirmation). That’s why unfortunately DREs are very reluctant to go with the honor system and want a way to ensure and verify that the candidates did fulfill their requirements, including going to Confession.

So yes, a Catholic has the right to go to any priest for Confession, but in this special situation where going to Confession is a requirement to receive Confirmation, I would ask that you go along with your DRE. Being a DRE is simply a thankless job and as a catechist you should have some empathy for why your DRE is doing what he/she is doing and don’t make it hard for him or her.

 

[CilladeRoma]

@PeterT, I wish I could like this 1000 times and give you a big hug! :hugs:

Most people have NO IDEA what it’s like to be a DRE or Catechist, but it seems like everyone can do a better job.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

Requiring a student to go to confession before Confirmation isn’t exactly out of line. The DRE is ensuring that students are prepared.

I agree that the requirement is good. I believe it is the Catechists job to prepare the students for Confession if the parents haven’t . Assigning the children a date and time is where I have the problem. They should be able to go where they are comfortable.

Of course.

However, most aren’t.

This is why you have them go where they are comfortable, sign up for a slot and tell the priest they’ve already confessed.

They are signing up for a time slot when they have to walk into a confessional with a priest. They are not being forced to go to confession.

The DRE and the pastor need to ensure that each child is prepared to receive the sacrament. This is the easiest way to do it. It’s being done digitally rather than on paper. Perhaps there are “bugs” that need to be ironed out, but its not a terrible idea.

 

[FrDavid96]

Anyone know if this would be against Canon law? To be forced to give your name and time to go to Confession, in order to receive Confirmation? Isn’t it a right to go to Confession anonymously?

This is a both-yes-and-no answer.

Yes, confession is always to be anonymous. However, in this particular situation, we’re talking about preparation to receive the sacrament of Confirmation. In order to be properly prepared for Confirmation, one must go to Confession. It’s the pastor’s responsibility to attest to the bishop that all the candidates have bee properly prepared, and that includes the fact that each one has been to confession. So the end result is that the pastor does need to know that each candidate has been to confession.

At the same time, this needs to be done in a way that respects the anonymity of Confession itself and respects the penitent’s right to choose a confessor (and time and place). That’s why I cautioned a few days back that this needs to be done very carefully. The catechists cannot take things too far. They cannot outright require a particular confession time, but they must be willing to accommodate those who choose to confess at another time or place.

 

[steve-b]

Can a Catholic go to any Catholic church for Confession?

Yes

Blessedwithfive:

Our DRE is requiring the children to sign up on an online site for a confession time and go to a specific church. Is that allowed? In the past we have just required the kids to attend Confession (before Confirmation) but we didn’t assign them a time and date that they MUST attend.

It looks like they want to confirm the children actually go to confession before receiving the sacrament.

Blessedwithfive:

In the past we always let them go where ever they were comfortable. I think that it would be against some type of church law to require a specific date and time (where there is only one priest, so he would know who is coming…) It would loose the anonymously aspect of the sacrament.

Don’t get me wrong, I want the kids to go, I just want them to be able to go anonymously.

Are they going face to face or behind a screen? Face to face is never required. Anonymity is always offered.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

Doesn’t even need to be in a church. I’ve confessed to a priest while walking around a parking lot after we left the gym. As long as the person you’re confessing to is a validly ordained Catholic priest, you’re good to go.