Can a drunken wedding be convalidated?

[Trout_Fisherman]

Let me be blunt. Sometimes it happens: People get drunk. Sometimes they also get married when they are drunk, particularly in Las Vegas. I recently married my long-term girlfriend in a civil ceremony in Las Vegas. I didn’t plan on getting married when we made the trip, but, while drunk, I (we) did just that. That said, I don’t regret it. We are both Catholic. We’re ashamed that we got married this way. (No one in our families was there during the civil ceremony.) That said, I want to remain married to “my wife.” She, God bless her, wants to remain married to me. My question is simple: Can I (we) get my (our) marriage convalidated (blessed) today? (Neither one of us was ever married before.) This is the Catholic girl for me, even if the way we got married doesn’t say as much. What can and/or should I (we) do?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Assuming that the two of you are both free to marry, yes, your marriage can be convalidated. You would need to discuss the situation with your pastor. As it stands now, your marriage is presumptively invalid because neither of you were in any condition to give requisite consent to the marriage. What you would be doing by convalidating your marriage is to create a valid marriage where no such valid marriage currently exists.

That said, the question is, should you do so? If there are serious reasons to remain married, such as children (born or unborn), then yes. If so, I can only recommend that you seek counseling from a Catholic marriage counselor to strengthen the foundations of your relationship. You may wish to contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute, a Catholic counseling apostolate, for assistance.

But if there are no existing serious reasons to remain married, then both of you should consider how little respect you apparently have for each other, as demonstrated by the fact that you got married during a bender in Vegas. Such a lack of respect, coupled with a possible problem with alcohol, is a very poor foundation for marriage. If you truly love each other and wish to demonstrate that love, it might well be better for you to free each other to find spouses with whom you can have a good foundation for a healthy marital relationship.