Can a married woman stay at the home of a single man?

[rook476]

I am making arrangements to stay with someone while on holiday, and I have two options in that city. One is a girl I went to college with, but we have drifted apart over the last few years and I don’t feel I know her well. The other is a male college friend with whom I was briefly romantically involved before I was married. Both have offered to put me up.

I would feel less “in the way” staying with the one I know better and have been friends with more recently. I have no desire to resume any sort of relationship with this fellow or any romantic thoughts of him now. I know he is an honorable man and I feel I can count on him to be a gentleman out of respect for me and for my husband. But is this still too close to the definition of a near occasion of sin?

May I accept his invitation (separate bedrooms, of course), must I stay with the girlfriend the whole time, or should I stay with her until the course of ahem natural womanly things makes it impossible to give in to any temptation that might, however unlikely, arise? My husband does not mind either way, as long as I am not sleeping on the sidewalk.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

There are two factors to consider here: the near occasion of sin and the possibility of scandal. Whether or not you and your male friend would fall into sexual sin together, your staying overnight with him constitutes placing yourself and him in a near occasion of sin. To do so deliberately can be a sin in and of itself. The other problem is scandal: To those who know you are married and who know that you are staying overnight alone with someone who is not your husband – and particularly someone with whom you were once romantically involved – your arrangements are a cause of scandal for them. To deliberately cause scandal for others can also be a sin in and of itself.

It seems to me that you have two options: You can stay with your female friend and perhaps look upon this vacation as an opportunity to renew your friendship with her, or you can stay in a hotel.