Can a permanent deacon have children after ordination?

[Soccerant19]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that a permanent deacon can’t have children after they are ordained. I didn’t think this was true, but I can’t find any proof either way. Does anyone know if this is true or not, and is there anywhere that says why / why not this is the case.

Thanks

 

[Phemie]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that a permanent deacon can’t have children after they are ordained. I didn’t think this was true, but I can’t find any proof either way. Does anyone know if this is true or not, and is there anywhere that says why / why not this is the case.

Thanks

He can’t get married after he’s ordained but there’s nothing there about having children. Actually, there is a provision that he may even be able to get married if he becomes a widower and has very young children. Somehow I think that puts a lie to the idea that he can’t have children after his ordination.

 

[SMHW]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that a permanent deacon can’t have children after they are ordained. I didn’t think this was true, but I can’t find any proof either way. Does anyone know if this is true or not, and is there anywhere that says why / why not this is the case.

Thanks

Permanent deacons are allowed to have relations with their wives. Children are a natural consequence of that.

There is no way you could allow the one without the other.

 

[Thomas63116]

On a couple other threads about permanent deacons, it has been pointed out that some dioceses will not consider a man for the diaconate unless his children have already reached high school age. This is to avoid the possible situation where the man may be widowed at a relatively young age and left with children to care for by himself (since he cannot normally remarry once he enters the diaconate.)

Depending on how old this person and his wife may have been when they started their family and the spacing of their children, it is possible, but rather unlikely, that a man and his wife whose children had all reached the age of say 14 before he entered the diaconate would have a new child after he became a deacon.

 

[Cristiano]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that a permanent deacon can’t have children after they are ordained. I didn’t think this was true, but I can’t find any proof either way. Does anyone know if this is true or not, and is there anywhere that says why / why not this is the case.

Thanks

1- Marriage is a sacrament of the Church which requires being open to procreation.

2- Holy orders is a sacrament that further emphasizes the requirement of obedience to the Church through the Bishop.

3- Two sacraments cannot be in contradiction!

4- Therefore a married and ordained person must be open to procreation.

5- Your friend is wrong!

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Yes, of course a permanent deacon may have children after his ordination. While it is true that the average age of deacons in the United States is 46, it is also true that in Europe they are 36 at ordination. I know several deacons who have had children after their ordinations.

Deacon Ed

 

[Namid]

Deacon Ed I was told that our Deacons and their wives were asked to sign a paper that they would no longer have relations is this true or just maybe in our diocese?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that a permanent deacon can’t have children after they are ordained. I didn’t think this was true, but I can’t find any proof either way. Does anyone know if this is true or not, and is there anywhere that says why / why not this is the case.

Thanks

Only if he is Married!!!

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Deacon Ed I was told that our Deacons and their wives were asked to sign a paper that they would no longer have relations is this true or just maybe in our diocese?

To do so would be against the Churches teaching on the Marriage relationship.

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

On a couple other threads about permanent deacons, it has been pointed out that some dioceses will not consider a man for the diaconate unless his children have already reached high school age. This is to avoid the possible situation where the man may be widowed at a relatively young age and left with children to care for by himself (since he cannot normally remarry once he enters the diaconate.)

Depending on how old this person and his wife may have been when they started their family and the spacing of their children, it is possible, but rather unlikely, that a man and his wife whose children had all reached the age of say 14 before he entered the diaconate would have a new child after he became a deacon.

When my husband was ordained, this was a serious consideration for candidates. Our kids were already in college by the time he was ordained, but I certainly understand why deacons with young families are discouraged until their kids are older. There are just some things that will have to take precedent as a deacon, such as a Communion Service, Vigil/Burial rite, Benediction.

However, there is one candidate in formation in our diocese whose wife just gave birth.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Deacon Ed I was told that our Deacons and their wives were asked to sign a paper that they would no longer have relations is this true or just maybe in our diocese?

I don’t know who told you that, but it’s not true. What deacons do sign is a promise of celibacy – but for a married candidate that promise is deferred until such time as his wife dies. At that point the deacon is required to be celibate.

Deacon Ed

 

[anjoh66]

Is it not allowed for a permanent deacon to marry?

I didnt know that:blush:

 

[Sillara]

Is it not allowed for a permanent deacon to marry?

I didnt know that:blush:

Permanent deacons can be married when they receive Holy Orders, but (barring special circumstances for widowed deacons requiring a dispensation) a deacon may not marry AFTER he receives Holy Orders.

As someone else on this board said, Holy Orders are an impediment to matrimony, but not vice versa.

 

[Dicerning]

I am approaching the end of my first year.

I am happy to say (and so is my wife) that marital relations continue after ordination.

To say that a deacon cannot have children is the same as saying he cannot have sexual intimacy with his wife. Which is contrary to church teaching.

 

[Dicerning]

When my husband was ordained, this was a serious consideration for candidates. Our kids were already in college by the time he was ordained, but I certainly understand why deacons with young families are discouraged until their kids are older. There are just some things that will have to take precedent as a deacon, such as a Communion Service, Vigil/Burial rite, Benediction.

However, there is one candidate in formation in our diocese whose wife just gave birth.

My class has several small children. We have small children they atttend formation with us. They will be very in touch with the deaconate by the time we are done. THEY LOVE formation weekends. Having deacons wait until their children are grown is OK but making it mandatory does nothing but producing a bunch of grey haired deacons…along with the older deacons the church greatly benefits from younger deacons as well. My children are getting one heck of a Catholic education by attending formation with us. It is such a huge blessing.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

My class has several small children. We have small children they atttend formation with us. They will be very in touch with the deaconate by the time we are done. THEY LOVE formation weekends. Having deacons wait until their children are grown is OK but making it mandatory does nothing but producing a bunch of grey haired deacons…along with the older deacons the church greatly benefits from younger deacons as well. My children are getting one heck of a Catholic education by attending formation with us. It is such a huge blessing.

Dear Dicerning,

It’s “diaconate” – not “deaconate” (yes, there’s a reason – it comes from the Greek root).

Deacon Ed

 

[Dicerning]

Dear Dicerning,

It’s “diaconate” – not “deaconate” (yes, there’s a reason – it comes from the Greek root).

Deacon Ed

dear Deacon ed. its called a blackberry. And I have huge thumbs.

 

[Brendan]

My class has several small children. We have small children they atttend formation with us. They will be very in touch with the deaconate by the time we are done. THEY LOVE formation weekends. Having deacons wait until their children are grown is OK but making it mandatory does nothing but producing a bunch of grey haired deacons…along with the older deacons the church greatly benefits from younger deacons as well. My children are getting one heck of a Catholic education by attending formation with us. It is such a huge blessing.

I would agree. I have 5 small kids and I was in formation for 3 years.

Yes, we did step back for a few years when DC 5 was born. My wife wanted the assistance in the pews. I also had a talk with the auxilliary bishop responsible for formation.

His recommendation, of which I comploetely concur, was to wait until my oldest was old enough to babysit. So I am holding off for a few years.

When I was in formation, the kids were great. In fact, I have difficulty in imaging how a Deacon can be effictive in certain ministries WITHOUT young children.

In my case, my two ministries were nursing home visits and assisting at a soup kitchen.

Nothing really brightens the day of an older person in a nursing home than recieving children as visitors. At the time, I had 1 boy and 3 girls. One lady remarked how lucky I was to have daughters.

She had 2 sons and now has 3 grandsons. She said that, when she was a little girl, she dreamed about have tea parties with her daughters.

So, on the next visit, I brought tea bags, cookies and my girls dressed in their best clothes, brought their dolls and they had a tea party.

When I was in the kitchen fixing everything up, I though about the institution of the Diaconate in Acts 6. St. Peter decreed that the purpose of the order was to bring food to widows and children. I thought that tea and cookies were probably NOT what he had in mind at the time, but this wasn’t too far off either.

At the soup kitchen, I bring my son and oldest daughter and they sort donated clothes and pack boxes of food for delivery. They both enjoy it enough that they ask to go back.

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

My class has several small children. We have small children they atttend formation with us. They will be very in touch with the deaconate by the time we are done. THEY LOVE formation weekends. Having deacons wait until their children are grown is OK but making it mandatory does nothing but producing a bunch of grey haired deacons…along with the older deacons the church greatly benefits from younger deacons as well. My children are getting one heck of a Catholic education by attending formation with us. It is such a huge blessing.

Indeed. My husband was 43 when he was ordained, and the youngest was 40 (with kids in grade school). Even our kids learned more by osmosis from their dad than they did in 12 years of Catholic school.

Dear Dicerning,

It’s “diaconate” – not “deaconate” (yes, there’s a reason – it comes from the Greek root).

Deacon Ed

dear Deacon ed. its called a blackberry. And I have huge thumbs.

This made me snort! Do your thumbs look like this?

 

[Diak]

Not only deacons but priests (if they are in a particular church where married presbyterate is allowed).