Can a person be "un-godparented"?

[galaxy_grrrrl]

My son’s godparents are a married couple. She is having an affair (confessed to the husband) and wants a divorce. Now what do I do?? Can I ask my parish priest to remove her from my child’s baptismal record? The husband has not given up on the marriage, but she wants out as quickly as possible. I feel very betrayed by her. I don’t want her to continue as my child’s godmother. Is there anything I can do?

 

[Phemie]

The only thing you can do is pray for them.

The record of baptism is a snapshot of a time and place. People who made promises cannot be changed. You may, if you want, ask someone else to play that role in your son’s life, but you cannot change an historical record.

I’ve run into problems with that when a mother came in and asked to have the record changed since a paternity test had proven that the man whose name is on record as the father isn’t the dad. She wanted the record amended to remove his name and change the son’s last name. NO can do. The only way she could do that was if the child was adopted by her husband and that’s not going to happen.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My son’s godparents are a married couple. She is having an affair (confessed to the husband) and wants a divorce. Now what do I do?? Can I ask my parish priest to remove her from my child’s baptismal record? The husband has not given up on the marriage, but she wants out as quickly as possible. I feel very betrayed by her. I don’t want her to continue as my child’s godmother. Is there anything I can do?

No. Except to find another person who will fill the role as Godmother, without actually being the Godmother on record.

 

[puzzleannie]

My son’s godparents are a married couple. She is having an affair (confessed to the husband) and wants a divorce. Now what do I do?? Can I ask my parish priest to remove her from my child’s baptismal record?

no you can’t change a past fact. What you can do is make sure the godfather continues to be part of his godchild’s life. Circumstances will make it likely that the godmother simply no longer has any active role to play. When he is confirmed, he can ask his godfather to sponsor him, or find a new sponsor if necessary at that time. the sacramental record is a record of circumstances at the time the sacrament was conferred and cannot be altered (it can be corrected, if an error was made, spelling etc., but it cannot be altered.)

I’ve run into problems with that when a mother came in and asked to have the record changed since a paternity test had proven that the man whose name is on record as the father isn’t the dad. She wanted the record amended to remove his name and change the son’s last name. NO can do. The only way she could do that was if the child was adopted by her husband and that’s not going to happen.

the only way the record can be amended (not change, just notice of the new name) is that the parents received the civil court order of the name change, receive a new birth certificate, bring it to the parish, and the addendum is made with the new name, and father’s name. From thenceforward, any certificate made of that baptism will list only the new information, but all the original info, plus the change and its documentation, are attached and become part of the original record. This is the same procedure for someone who is adopted after baptism

 

[galaxy_grrrrl]

Thank you so much for all your (name removed by moderator)ut. I was thinking about this and realized that I guess I was more interested in punishing her. Not a noble intention, I guess. Thanks again.

 

[puzzleannie]

quite understandable reaction, but if she does not care about her marriage vows and that sacrament & commitment, it is unlikely she will care about baptism as a sacrament either, and the commitment she made to your child, either.

 

[mama2two]

Not much to add, I just empathize with you finding yourself in that position. I hope she can still be a good role model in other ways.

 

[happymommy]

We went through the same thing and have no contact with our daughter’s Godmother. My sister-in-law has stepped up into the role of Godmother, just without the title.

 

[magwon1]

I wonder the same question if someone can be removed as Godparent. My daughter’s Godmother was having an affair with my now ex-husband and they are living together. The Godmother’s distain for me is being taken out on my daughter. It certainly does not make for a good role model. Additionally, today, I was speaking with a woman who worked in our Parish’s office for close to 30+years and she told that many years ago, before 1995, there was a Godparent who was removed from record.