Can a priest discuss with me what I confessed after confession?

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I went to confession and I will admit I did struggle through it. It had been about 4 months since my last confession… I know, not great, but definitely not the longest I’ve avoided the sacrament. I was listing my sins and I guess the priest could tell something was off and he asked what was bothering me. After I responded, he asked me if I would mind meeting him in his office later in the week to talk. Problem is: I’m not even sure I remember what I told him was bothering me. Of course, I have an idea. I was very anxious during it and know I just started rambling when he said that because I was trying to keep my composure.

So now I’m worried because I’ve made the appointment but I’m not entirely sure what to discuss. I figure it will be difficult for him to remember my confession because I know priests are busy and many do not remember confessions, but if he does is he allowed to mention to me why he asked me to meet with him? I know I’m likely over-worrying. I do this a lot in regard to confession and part of me feels like my confession isn’t over yet since I’m waiting for the appointment on Tuesday. I did keep my list of sins (instead of getting rid of it like usual) so I can look back over it and take it with me in case I need something to reference. I’m embarrassed because it seems like I must have really done a horrible job in the confessional.

If you have any advice, I’d very much appreciate it.
 
They (confessions) aren’t going to all be the same. He absolved you? Forget it. The sins are gone. Keep moving forward and be at peace. Don’t underestimate the mercy of God.
 
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Then priest can’t bring up your sins to you after confession. That would be breaking the seal of confession.
 
From CatholicStraightAnswers.com: Sometimes a penitent wants to discuss the subject matter of a previous confession– a particular sin, fault, temptation, circumstance– in a counseling session or in a conversation with the same priest. Respecting the seal of confession, the priest would have to ask the penitent to refresh his memory, so as to revisit the particulars again outside of confession. For example, especially with the advent of “face-to-face confession,” I have had individuals come up to me and say, “Father, remember that problem I spoke to you about in confession?” I have to say, “Please refresh my memory.”

The same would apply if the impetus is coming from the priest who wishes to assist further after absolution. The seal would only be broken if the subject matter were discussed with a third party.
 
But you could initiate the discussion with “Father, I’d like to talk to you about something, but I’d like it to be under “the Seal”, as it concerns my last confession”. I’m pretty sure there is a clause in Canon Law along those lines.
 
Anything you say when you are meeting a priest for direction is under the seal as well. I have had to ask a priest a couple of days later what he meant when I was confessing as it didn’t make any sense at all to me. The priest couldn’t remember any more than that I had been to Confession recently.

It is the priest´s task to help you to be a saint. Your priest seems like he is taking his job seriously. 😃 A simple way to start the conversation is by asking him how you can live a more holy life. It is an open question and will point to what your needs and worries are right now when you start talking.
 
Thank you all for the advice. I will pray about it all tonight and in the morning before I meet with him. I guess I’m worried about wasting his time, especially since I’m not sure exactly why I’m meeting with him. I have had doubts about remaining a practicing Catholic for a while (this was mentioned during the confession) and would like to discuss that with someone, but then again if that’s not the point of the appointment I hate to take the conversation that direction. I also hate going there because this is not the priest of my home parish. I attend mass in the town where I work about once a month and this is the priest of the parish there who I have never met outside the confessional.
 
There is no such clause in Canon Law. If you approach Father and say “I’d like to discuss what came up in my last confession,” Father should say “I have no idea what that is.” If you say you’d like to privately discuss with him something in your spiritual life, and you happened to mention it in your last confession, then he must proceed as though what you’re saying to him at that point is the first time he’s hearing it. Under no circumstances can a priest make use of anything he heard in confession, and no one is empowered to release a priest from the seal. The seal means that what’s said in confession is left in confession, and that’s that. Spiritual direction is private, but it is not under the sacramental seal. There can be penalties levied, though not automatic ones, for divulging what is said in a meeting intended to be private, but it is not the same thing as the seal. As such, there are certain things you could say to a priest in private (outside of confession) that he could act on, such as the person threatening to endanger himself or another person, or speaking of some grave crime. This is similar to attorney-client privilege or doctor-patient confidentiality.

-Fr ACEGC
 
edward_george1 said:
The seal means that what’s said in confession is left in confession, and that’s that.
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Just to clarify what you’re saying: The seal means that what’s said in confession is left in confession by the confessor.
Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.
§2. The interpreter, if there is one, and all others who in any way have knowledge of sins from confession are also obliged to observe secrecy.
Can. 984 §1. A confessor is prohibited completely from using knowledge acquired from confession to the detriment of the penitent even when any danger of revelation is excluded.
§2. A person who has been placed in authority cannot use in any manner for external governance the knowledge about sins which he has received in confession at any time.

There is nothing in canon law that even discourages a penitent from freely disclosing what the penitent has said in confession in the past; the matter of what a penitent may disclose about what took place in confession is not even addressed, excepting that it is a serious offense to denounce an innocent confessor falsely. (Can. 982) It is only hearsay, since no one else present could confirm or deny it, but there is no law that forbids a penitent from disclosing the things they have said in confession to whomever they want.
The confessor may not confirm or deny any of it to any third party, but as far as I know even though confessors do make an effort to forget everything they have heard in confession the confessor does not have to feign ignorance to the penitent within the confines of a later confession. As far as I know, it is no violation of the seal to respond to questions a penitent raises about things he or she said they said in a prior confession. Outside such a strictly confidential environment, the matter is not different than an outside priest responding to such questions: that is, the questions are answered in a theoretical way, with the caveat that the confessor is giving the same answer as if he had no first-hand knowledge of the confession.

Is this correct, or not quite correct?
 
A penitent may talk about whatever he wants with whomever he wants, including the contents of his own confession. But a priest may not directly bring up the contents of anyone’s confession with anyone, including the penitent himself. If a regular penitent came to me and said “that sin I confessed last time,” I’d probably ask for clarification, since a) I very likely won’t remember what it was, and b) even if I do, that doesn’t really constitute having confessed the sin, and c) I don’t want to risk violating the seal by saying something about their last confession. I treat the seal of confession as meaning that once the confession has ended and I have given absolution, that moment never happened.

-Fr ACEGC
 
edward_george1 said:
A penitent may talk about whatever he wants with whomever he wants, including the contents of his own confession. But a priest may not directly bring up the contents of anyone’s confession with anyone, including the penitent himself. If a regular penitent came to me and said “that sin I confessed last time,” I’d probably ask for clarification, since a) I very likely won’t remember what it was, and b) even if I do, that doesn’t really constitute having confessed the sin, and c) I don’t want to risk violating the seal by saying something about their last confession. I treat the seal of confession as meaning that once the confession has ended and I have given absolution, that moment never happened.

-Fr ACEGC
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This makes sense, and explains why it is typical that priests will simply banish it all from their minds, out of abundance of caution for the seal.

On that note, many attribute this quote (or a variation) to Venerable Servant of God Fulton J. Sheen:
“Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.”
(a) Did he say that?
(b) Is that kind of a general statement a violation of the seal of confession? I know people tell jokes, but can priests ever tell stories about the kinds of things they hear in confession? If so, under what circumstances can this ever be done?

Like this one… a woman goes into the confessional and confesses that there is someone in the parish she cannot stand, and that she nurses uncharitable thoughts about this fellow Christian. In an attempt to help her overcome this bad habit while performing her penance, the confessor makes several suggestions, all of which are dismissed as inappropriate, given the details about the situation the penitent does not want to disclose. Eventually, he suggests that perhaps the penitent might soften up if she would bake some cookies for this person. At this, the woman finally sighs and says, “OK, Father, I give up. What kind of cookies do you like?”

I’m assuming it would be OK for a priest to tell this joke, but it would not be OK for a priest to relate this story if it actually happened to him, since the details are specific enough that someone might know who had said it?
 
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@petrag, I think maybe you’re overthinking this.

I don’t know if Bishop Sheen said what he is reputed to have said, but let’s suppose he has. Do you know which convent he was referring to? Do you know which sisters went to confession to him? Do you know what they confessed?

Priests are really careful about observing the seal. You don’t have to worry.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
@petrag, I think maybe you’re overthinking this.

I don’t know if Bishop Sheen said what he is reputed to have said, but let’s suppose he has. Do you know which convent he was referring to? Do you know which sisters went to confession to him? Do you know what they confessed?

Priests are really careful about observing the seal. You don’t have to worry.
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I’m asking a confessor what his take on it is. I don’t know what level of vague reference is OK. How do priests decide this?
 
Thank you for the clarification. This is indeed what happened. If this happens again I will try to make some kind of notes to jog my memory after the confession.
 
Yes, I tried my best. I can’t say I’m great at talking about what I struggle with especially with someone I do not know, but it went ok and I will try to implement his suggestions.
 
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