Can a priest or deacon be a groomsman or best man at a wedding?

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DavidJoseph

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I have a really good friend whom I’d love to have as a groomsman at my wedding or even my best man. Now, I don’t yet have any plans to get married (not even seeing anyone at the moment, but there’s a girl I like). But if things change, and I end up getting married sometime within the next 2 years, by then my friend, who’s a seminarian, will also, God willing, be ordained a deacon and then a priest. So then what? Can a priest or deacon serve as a groomsman or best man at a wedding? Since I, as well as the girl I like, prefer the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, having him serve as a concelebrant is out of the question (there’s no concelebration at all in the Tridentine Latin Mass).
 
Of course they can! But they can’t be the celebrant. But the cool thing here is if he is a deacon or priest, he can give the homily even though he isn’t the celebrant. The rubrics allow for such.
 
He can attend the Mass in choro, in choir dress. For priests, deacons, and seminarians, that is cassock, surplice, and biretta.
 
DavidJoseph said:
I have a really good friend whom I’d love to have as a groomsman at my wedding or even my best man. Now, I don’t yet have any plans to get married (not even seeing anyone at the moment, but there’s a girl I like). But if things change, and I end up getting married sometime within the next 2 years, by then my friend, who’s a seminarian, will also, God willing, be ordained a deacon and then a priest. So then what? Can a priest or deacon serve as a groomsman or best man at a wedding? Since I, as well as the girl I like, prefer the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, having him serve as a concelebrant is out of the question (there’s no concelebration at all in the Tridentine Latin Mass).
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Yes, he can, that’s fine.
However, here’s a few other possibilities that I think would be even better:
  • If he is a deacon or a priest, and trained in the EF, you could possibly have a solemn Mass, provided you found one more priest to fill the third spot.
  • He could sit in choir, as Joseph mentioned
Personally, I’d try to do those two, in that order. But in short, if you and your wife-to-be want to have him in the wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
 
superamazingman said:
Yes, he can, that’s fine.
However, here’s a few other possibilities that I think would be even better:
  • If he is a deacon or a priest, and trained in the EF, you could possibly have a solemn Mass, provided you found one more priest to fill the third spot.
  • He could sit in choir, as Joseph mentioned
Personally, I’d try to do those two, in that order. But in short, if you and your wife-to-be want to have him in the wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
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I also have a friend who is a priest, and was thinking that if he were at my marriage, I would go for those which you mentioned. It’s more in fitting with his dignity as a priest.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
I also have a friend who is a priest, and was thinking that if he were at my marriage, I would go for those which you mentioned. It’s more in fitting with his dignity as a priest.
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Yes, it seems best that he exercise his office if able, either by being a sacred minister or in choir. When I get married, if it’s in the EF (and it very well may be), I’ll certainly be doing that with my numerous priest friends. Who knows… heck with my connections with traditional priest friends, we might be able to pull off a solemn pontifical nuptial Mass at the throne! LOL!
 
superamazingman said:
Yes, it seems best that he exercise his office if able, either by being a sacred minister or in choir. When I get married, if it’s in the EF (and it very well may be), I’ll certainly be doing that with my numerous priest friends. Who knows… heck with my connections with traditional priest friends, we might be able to pull off a solemn pontifical nuptial Mass at the throne! LOL!
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Haha! What would that be, 29 clerics (including the bishop) and a full schola cantorum? You must have a lot of connections. 😃
 
JGMendes4049 said:
Haha! What would that be, 29 clerics (including the bishop) and a full schola cantorum? You must have a lot of connections. 😃
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If that was the case, your guests would probably hate you for making them sit through something like that. Even I get a little impatient waiting for all the priest to file in and file out in procession when at big diocesan Masses.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
If that was the case, your guests would probably hate you for making them sit through something like that. Even I get a little impatient waiting for all the priest to file in and file out in procession when at big diocesan Masses.
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Most of my friends probably wouldn’t mind, to be honest 🙂

most of our “inside jokes” revolve around the liturgy, in particular obscure rubrics. 😃
 
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