Can a priest refuse to give son first communion if my son wishes to kneel?

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My son will be making his fist communion soon, and wishes to receive on the tongue whilst kneeling.

When discussing this with the assistant priest tonight, he said that he would have to run this by the parish priest to see if it would be allowed. I was under the impression that receiving communion like this couldn’t be refused, or do I have that wrong?

Many thanks
 
There are several people in the parish where I go to mass that receive Holy Communion kneeling and on the tongue. I, myself, receive Holy Communion on the tongue although I do stand to receive it. You can not be refuse Holy Communion just because you want to receive it kneeling and on the tongue.
 
According to the GIRM a person is free to choose to kneel and receive on the tongue, or while standing, or in the hand. It is prohibited by Canon Law for a Priest to refuse Eucharist to any person who wishes to receive and is properly disposed. (GIRM 160 and Canon 912, for example - vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P39.HTM )

That said, there are Priests who will refuse to give Communion to people who want to kneel. While they are in violation of Church Law, the Eucharistic Celebration is probably not the time/place to fight that fight. Make sure you know your rights and the law, and discuss with the Priest BEFORE HAND. Don’t be afraid to involve your Bishop.

In part 160 of the GIRM, edited and re-issued in 2010 or 2011 by the U.S. Bishops, we read: “The norm established for the Dioceses of the United States of America is that Holy Communion is to be received standing, unless an individual member of the faithful wishes to receive Communion while kneeling." (GIRM 160, 2011 ed., emphasis mine).
Receiving on the tongue or in the hand is also discussed near that section and is also at the discretion of the recipient.
 
it’s allowed. no problem.
But the bigger question is: is there no parish where this is common that you could attend?
You likely will encounter a lot of grief if he’s the only one kneeling.
not from the priest or DRE, but from the other parishioners.
I’m not saying it’s right, or justified, but be aware if you’re being “different”.
Children really want what their parents want.
Good luck! I hope all goes well for your family.
Congratulations on this big step in his Sacramental life!
 
The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (which governs what happens at Mass) says (emphasis added),

The consecrated host may be received either on the tongue or in the hand, at the discretion of each communicant. . . . The priest raises the host slightly and shows it to each, saying, Corpus Christi (the body of Christ). The communicant replies Amen and receives the sacrament either on the tongue or, where this is allowed and if the communicant so chooses, in the hand. (160–161)

So, no, he can’t.
 
AHS has it correct. I ve seen that done in my parish with no problem. I asked the priest who taught my RCIA class about this several months ago after reading a post I believe on this site that concerned a priest that denied a parishioner communion on the tongue and tried to force the bread into her hand. He said it is impossible to deny communion on the tongue, that is was the normative.

What I couldn’t get him to tell me is WHY a priest would do that. That is the question I would like answered.
 
My personal opinion is that the Eucharistic service is a gift from Christ and we all should follow the customs of where we are receiving so that we do not draw away attention from the sacrament.

Therefore you should teach your son the local customs and follow them in a reverent manner. If your son wishes to perform a special devotion there are plenty to choose from and they can be done in private which is preferred by God.
 
WT1 said:
My personal opinion is that the Eucharistic service is a gift from Christ and we all should follow the customs of where we are receiving so that we do not draw away attention from the sacrament.

Therefore you should teach your son the local customs and follow them in a reverent manner. If your son wishes to perform a special devotion there are plenty to choose from and they can be done in private which is preferred by God.
Click to expand...
That’s kind of how I feel, although I don’t want to get jumped on.
It’s fine to receive on the tongue.
Children want to do what their parents tell them they should do.
If it’s NOT the norm in the OP’s parish, maybe choose a parish where it is the norm, so that it doesn’t draw undue attention to the child and away from the Eucharist.
First Communion is not the place to make a statement, although I know people will come out in droves to disagree. The Apostles received in the hand not kneeling directly from Christ Himself.
If the OP feels strongly about this, there are certainly plenty of parishes where this is the norm. If they are happier and feel more reverent kneeling, then go to one of those parishes.
Just my 2 cents.
 
On the USCCB site it states:
“41. Holy Communion under the form of bread is offered to the communicant with the words “The Body of Christ.” The communicant may choose whether to receive the Body of Christ in the hand or on the tongue.*”

How does local custom trump that? It plainly seems like the communicant’s right to choose which way.

I am not trying to start a fight, I normally receive on the tongue but if I’m sneezy (allergies) I’ll receive in the hand and I’m extremely thankful for the option, but I find these things awfully confusing and frustrating and when I read these kinds of things it just seems like the priests who try to force people to do this one way are just making it up.
 
WT1 said:
My personal opinion is that the Eucharistic service is a gift from Christ and we all should follow the customs of where we are receiving.
Click to expand...
I disagree, receiving standing is an exception permitted by a temporary indult. In my opinion, we should not follow exceptions granted through an indult for those wanting to do things differently. For the sake of unity, we should all follow the norm established by The Catholic Church, which is kneeling and receiving on the tongue.
 
Ignatius said:
I disagree, receiving standing is an exception permitted by a temporary indult. In my opinion, we should not follow exceptions granted through an indult for those wanting to do things differently. For the sake of unity, we should all follow the norm established by The Catholic Church, which is kneeling and receiving on the tongue.
Click to expand...
It’s documented that in the United States custom is to receive by standing so to do otherwise is to draw attention to yourself and away from the sacrament.

Bottom line it does not matter how you receive but why not keep all thoughts on the sacrament?
 
I’m with WT1 and Clare. Particularly at a First Communion, when all eyes are on the children, why not do things as they are normally done in the parish so that the attention remains on the sacrament rather than on the child who stands out.

If people in the parish normally knelt and one person wanted to stand I’d say the same thing. Keep the focus where it should be – on Jesus, not on yourself.
 
WT1 said:
It’s documented that in the United States custom is to receive by standing so to do otherwise is to draw attention to yourself and away from the sacrament.

Bottom line it does not matter how you receive but why not keep all thoughts on the sacrament?
Click to expand...
But this is the thing, when you receive so reverently it is thinking about the sacrament. Quite frankly if it is up to the communicant, not the priest or the other communicants, what difference should it make? Why does it have to be “run by” anyone?

WT1 could you please explain to me how local custom is more important than canon law? I simply don’t get it.
 
pianistclare said:
That’s kind of how I feel, although I don’t want to get jumped on.
It’s fine to receive on the tongue.
Children want to do what their parents tell them they should do.
If it’s NOT the norm in the OP’s parish, maybe choose a parish where it is the norm, so that it doesn’t draw undue attention to the child and away from the Eucharist.
First Communion is not the place to make a statement, although I know people will come out in droves to disagree. The Apostles received in the hand not kneeling directly from Christ Himself.
If the OP feels strongly about this, there are certainly plenty of parishes where this is the norm. If they are happier and feel more reverent kneeling, then go to one of those parishes.
Just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...
I wonder, would you feel that way if the pastor, at the OPs parish, decided everyone had to receive Communion kneeling, on the tongue? The Church has made clear that the pastor and even “local custom” (which was kneeling on the tongue until 50 yrs ago, when standing was brought in against local custom) have no veto over parishioners electing to receive in the manner Catholics have for millennia. Kneeling, on the tongue, is the universal custom of the Universal Church.
 
Ignatius said:
I disagree, receiving standing is an exception permitted by a temporary indult. In my opinion, we should not follow exceptions granted through an indult for those wanting to do things differently. For the sake of unity, we should all follow the norm established by The Catholic Church, which is kneeling and receiving on the tongue.
Click to expand...
I’ve never read that the U.S. norm of standing is based on a “temporary indult.” Do you have an expiration date for that indult?
 
Brenwood_Dad said:
My son will be making his fist communion soon, and wishes to receive on the tongue whilst kneeling.

When discussing this with the assistant priest tonight, he said that he would have to run this by the parish priest to see if it would be allowed. I was under the impression that receiving communion like this couldn’t be refused, or do I have that wrong?

Many thanks
Click to expand...
Obedience to your priest would be more pleasing then disobedience.
 
WT1 said:
My personal opinion is that the Eucharistic service is a gift from Christ and we all should follow the customs of where we are receiving so that we do not draw away attention from the sacrament.

Therefore you should teach your son the local customs and follow them in a reverent manner.
Click to expand...
That’s all fine but in the US, the local custom is a mix of postures,** by design **of the USCCB. The local custom for receiving Communion in the US is standing OR kneeling, on the tongue OR in the hand.
If your son wishes to perform a special devotion there are plenty to choose from and they can be done in private which is preferred by God.
Click to expand...
Receiving Communion is not a private devotion nor can a private devotion be substituted for the reception of Holy Communion.
 
WT1 said:
It’s documented that in the United States custom is to receive by standing so to do otherwise is to draw attention to yourself and away from the sacrament.
Click to expand...
No, you are misunderstanding the norms in the US, the norm is —" **to be received standing, unless an individual member of the faithful wishes to receive Communion while kneeling **"

In other words, the custom in the US (the approved norm) is EVERYTHING highlighted above

So yes, everywhere in the US the custom is to either stand or kneel, whichever the communicant wishes to do. The local custom INCLUDES the ability to kneel for Holy Communion.
 
Yes, an individual can receive on the tongue and kneeling, if they so choose. Short answer.

Now, in regards to the first communion celebration, this may be simply an issue of “logistics”.

For example, in our parish, there is no altar rail so someone would have to kneel on the floor, period. I’ve never seen it happen in my parish. Are you expecting them to bring out a special kneeler for your son? Will that be a distraction? Again, logistics. With a little bit of prep, these needs could be met.

If you are determined to have your child kneel, I would talk with your pastor directly. If kneeling is not the norm in your parish, I can see the pastor being thrown off by a seven year old suddenly kneeling. You could explain your reasons and everyone can be on the same page.

And in the future, don’t bother the assistant priest. Go right to the top.
 
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