Can a Traditional Catholic Man marry a Contemporary Catholic Woman?

  • Thread starter Thread starter mUzda2
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Personally, I would not allow it. As head of our Domestic Church, I would not permit my wife to attend Mass unaccompanied (nor any other Christian ecclesial community.)

Let me put this in softer terms. I would always accompany my wife to whatever Mass she wishes to attend. I would assist at the fruitcakiest Mass if my wife were by my side. Not every week, mind you, but if we alternated it would all be OK.

Perhaps this is why I am not married.

Yeah, if I had a girlfriend who was reluctant to go to Mass with me, that would be a huge red flag. If a married couple is supposed to sanctify each other and bring each other to Heaven, how can they do that without attending Mass together? Makes it more difficult, I must say.
 
DeniseNY said:
Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
Click to expand...
First, it’s music in the mass, then it’s ragtime, shameless music that will grab your son, grab your daughter with the arms of a jungle animal instinct! Oh you got trouble, any time you consort with odd couples.
 
Was this a question about a relationship or a jab at “contemporary” music at Mass?
 
DeniseNY said:
Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
Click to expand...
That is a hoot!

My father never liked for me to watch The Odd Couple when I was growing up, because, well… ahem… he thought it looked like Felix was the “wife” and Oscar was the “husband”. He was a product of his time, and in the little valley where I grew up, the gender roles were as narrowly circumscribed as the hills around us. It wasn’t until I moved to the DC area that I felt like I could wear a pink oxford-cloth dress shirt, not because I’m gay — I’m not — but simply because it’s a handsome color for a man’s shirt.

And Howard Sprague (sans mustache) as a priest? Who knew?
 
mUzda2 said:
If you were at any worldly royal banquet, let’s say for the Queen of England, and were instructed to put together the music ensemble that would be played in her presence during the banquet, you would undoubtedly be committing an offense to the royal office of the Queen by bringing in loud guitars, tambourines, and everyday music that sounds like what you’d hear on the latest pop hits radio.
Click to expand...
What about the Gather Us In hymnal? That isn’t played on “loud guitars and tamborines”. Are they fitting?
 
Anesti33 said:
If a married couple is supposed to sanctify each other and bring each other to Heaven, how can they do that without attending Mass together?
Click to expand...
They don’t have to go together, as long as they go.

It’s not uncommon for a very devout couple to SOMETIMES attend mass separately, esp if they have a lot of kids.

I’ve seen one family, where the boys are Altar servers and the mother & older daughters all sing in the choir. When the boys serve at the 8:30 AM or 1PM mass, the Dad goes with the boys, while the mother goes to the 11AM with the girls so they (or the Mother) can sing in the Choir.

This happens quite a lot with couples who are married with kids. The most important thing is that they attend mass.

With that said, please pray that my wife’s heart softens and she discovers the Love of Jesus Christ. Any prayers will be appreciated.

God Bless
 
Invite her to the TLM before you get married and see how she reacts. Then you will know whether it will be a problem.
 
DeniseNY said:
40.png
Tis_Bearself:
“Can a man who [insert description of his tastes or background] and a woman who [insert description of woman’s taste or background that is like the polar opposite of the man’s] find happiness?”
Click to expand...
Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
Click to expand...
Like Tony Randall & Jack Klugman in The Odd Couple?
 
Since both are Catholic, here is my advice:

How about inviting her to the Latin Mass? She might like it. As a convert, I did not know what a Latin Mass was, until I learned about the magnificent traditions of our Church.

Also, communication is key. Or, you can go to Ordinary Form with your wife and attend Latin Mass separately on your spare time.
 
Anesti33 said:
Personally, I would not allow it. As head of our Domestic Church, I would not permit my wife
Click to expand...
This phrasing may be what keeps you from being married. Just my 2¢

To the OP, I started to get the feeling that you were on the verge of this same mentality, which as others have aptly pointed out, shows that you are not ready for marriage.
 
Hahaha. I was engaged for several months 12 years ago. My fiancee claimed that my attitudes toward women were stuck in the 1700s. I frankly was shooting for something like the 12th century.
 
yankeesouth said:
Invite her to the TLM before you get married and see how she reacts. Then you will know whether it will be a problem.
Click to expand...
You might want to give her the opportunity to experience several TLM Masses as she thinks about sharing Mass experiences with you. It took me a few times to get situated with the Mass when I first started assisting (even with the red missal for help).
Treasure and Tradition: The Ultimate Guide to the Latin Mass and Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist might both be great Christmas books (for different reasons) that you and those close to you might want to enjoy together.
 
I would also say to allow her to invite you to several contemporary Masses that she enjoys, so that she can gauge your reaction. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, no?
 
If both do not attend the same Mass, how can that work? I wouldn’t advise it. If, however, one simply enjoys certain contemporary music, that doesn’t necessitate going to Mass to hear it. After all, I still like certain Ray Repp and Medical Missionary Sisters’ songs from the 1960s. I wouldn’t want them at Mass, but for singing around the campfire or while traveling in the car is fine. I like ‘old-timey’ Appalachian songs and flatfoot dancing, too. Should these be sung in Mass? God forbid!
You should really be sure you’re on the same page spiritually before marrying. Spiritual unity is non-negotiable. Musical taste is not.
 
I feel like CAF needs a flashing banner at the top of the page reminding people that “Traditional Catholic” is an aesthetic preference and not a separate church.
 
I will raise you one, I don’t even know why it has a separate subject forum.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top