Can a wife decide her marriage will be celibate?

[shannin]

This may sound a little silly, but it’s true:

I know a wife who has decided that her marriage is going to be celibate. She posted a letter in the couple’s kitchen saying that she went to visit a monsignor who told her that it is okay with the Church to have a celibate marriage. Their four children could see the letter. The problem is that her husband doesn’t want a celibate marriage. She is in her late-50s and he’s in mid-60s.

Does the Church really condone a celibate marriage when only one of the partners desires it?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

When a man and woman marry, they give each other a right to their bodies and a right to marital relations. Such a right must be exercised justly and prudently, but a reasonable request for relations should not be refused without just cause. Certainly one spouse may not unilaterally decide without grave reason that the marriage will henceforth be celibate, particularly over and against the objections of the other spouse. If the wife in this case is reporting her monsignor’s words accurately, then the monsignor had no business giving her permission to have a celibate marriage without having met with both spouses and determining that this was something both wanted. And the wife was certainly imprudent to basically bring the couple’s children into a private matter between husband, wife, and their confessor or spiritual director.