Can a woman propose marriage?

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I know I would NEVER purpose marriage. I can’t even stand the THOUGHT of doing so. it’s a man’s job, 100% pure and simple. A couple may discuss the possibility of marriage together, but I can’t even fathom the thought of a woman proposing and making the first step. Does not compute in my traditional mind.
 
momor said:
I would say yes. But, I really think it should be a mutual decision and should be discussed before becoming engaged. I would not want to accept an engagement if we had not already determined we agreed on the important decisions about marriage and family.

I also dislike the tradition of a man buying an engagement ring and surprising his intended. If she is going to wear it for the rest of her life she should be the one to pick it out. The man can work with a jeweler ahead of time to show her rings he can afford, or buy the diamond and let her choose the setting.
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I would be offended if my boyfriend intended me to pick out my own ring. I would find it apalling and a turn off to be involved in that choice. I don’t want to look at rings, pick out bands, cuts, gems. I want it to be all him, HIS choice. I want to be surprised. I want the proposal, not some bussiness arrangement. I mean, if he can’t be a man and choose a ring on his own, I think that says a lot. Why WOULDN’T a woman treasure a precious gift her husband chose specially for her?
 
chevalier said:
Hey, Ma’am, put that gun away! I wasn’t talking in strictly marriage proposal terms but the fact that all around me it seems that men who appear indifferent or uninterested are hotter merchandise than those who act interested (talking about interpersonal relationship, not sexual advances, those are trickier). This coincides with the growing trend for women to wear the breeches in relationships. This does look a bit like role reversal (traditional “seduction” by women took different forms and male hardball tactics were also different). Hence my satirical use of the word “to conquer”. We’re soon gonna have princesses in shining armour and lads in distress. :rolleyes:

I’m going to pull the coffee cup move when (if) the day comes.
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Chevalier,

I don’t have a gun, honest! I was just surprised at your use of the word “conquer”. Satire is hard to “hear” on a forum. I honestly am pretty traditional, especially by 21st century standards. I’m not sure why women would be more interested in men who appear indifferent. Maybe the fact that these guys seem more unreachable makes them appear more desirable. I don’t know.

You are going to put an engagement ring in a coffee cup? I hope she’s a sipper, not a gulper, when that day comes.
 
shondrea said:
I would be offended if my boyfriend intended me to pick out my own ring. I would find it apalling and a turn off to be involved in that choice. I don’t want to look at rings, pick out bands, cuts, gems. I want it to be all him, HIS choice. I want to be surprised. I want the proposal, not some bussiness arrangement. I mean, if he can’t be a man and choose a ring on his own, I think that says a lot. Why WOULDN’T a woman treasure a precious gift her husband chose specially for her?
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Many women would forego the surprise aspect to be able to choose the ring, since it will be something they wear for the rest of their lives. Or they may want a surprise proposal with just a diamond and choose the setting alter. They would LOVE to look at gems, bands, etc. Sometimes couples look at rings before buying, so he can get ideas of what she likes.

My dh probably should have bought me a diamond to surprise me with but he popped the Q spontaneously. The price tags on those little shiny rocks shocked me.
 
PilgrimSong said:
Chevalier,

I don’t have a gun, honest! I was just surprised at your use of the word “conquer”. Satire is hard to “hear” on a forum. I honestly am pretty traditional, especially by 21st century standards. I’m not sure why women would be more interested in men who appear indifferent. Maybe the fact that these guys seem more unreachable makes them appear more desirable. I don’t know.
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Yeah, that’s a very simple mechanic. It’s just that until recently cultural patterns generally overrode it and it wasn’t so visible. These days it looks like women want to do the chase and don’t like being chased. Not generalising, just saying it happens pretty often and too often to be just a couple of isolated accidents.
You are going to put an engagement ring in a coffee cup? I hope she’s a sipper, not a gulper, when that day comes.
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Nope, under it. She picks it up, sees the ring, if she doesn’t drop and break the cup and spill coffee all over herself, she isn’t interested. 😃

Speaking of choosing the ring, we have the giver and the receiver. Sometimes a gift will be chosen from the point view of the one and sometimes the other. Personally, I prefer to pick on my own but knowing what the other person likes.
 
I could never propose to a man, I would feel too uncomfortable. Plus, I want a ring, and asking a man, then asking for a ring seems kind of greedy. “Will you marry me, and also buy a ring?”. One word: Tiffany. 😃

Is it sad I have my ring picked out already, and I don’t even have a boyfriend?
 
I agree that you should talk about marriage before the ‘question’ is asked;)
as far as the girl asking? interesting, but I like the other way 👍 (being a girl myself I want to know that the guy who’s asking me would have though about it, and made up his mind that I’m the one for him.)🙂
 
CountrySinger said:
I could never propose to a man, I would feel too uncomfortable. Plus, I want a ring, and asking a man, then asking for a ring seems kind of greedy. “Will you marry me, and also buy a ring?”. One word: Tiffany. 😃

Is it sad I have my ring picked out already, and I don’t even have a boyfriend?
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I don’t think it’s sad. When I pop the question, I’m pulling out a Cracker Jack prize ring. If she says Yes, out comes the real one. If she says No…well, let’s just say He’s going back to Jareds.
 
Proposing with a cracker jack ring is one of the cutest ways I’ve heard before!
 
Rascalking said:
I don’t think it’s sad. When I pop the question, I’m pulling out a Cracker Jack prize ring. If she says Yes, out comes the real one. If she says No…well, let’s just say He’s going back to Jareds.
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I got a Ring Pop. LOL
 
Rascalking said:
I don’t think it’s sad. When I pop the question, I’m pulling out a Cracker Jack prize ring. If she says Yes, out comes the real one. If she says No…well, let’s just say He’s going back to Jareds.
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LOL. Make sure she knows your sense of humor well first. Otherwise CrackerJack ring is likely to = NO.
 
I doubt anyone would really gets my sense of humor. Even I think it’s bizzare sometimes.
 
SMHW said:
[But in general the man has to be the one who assumes the greater responsibility for the support and protection of the wife and children so he gets to say when he’s willing to take that role.
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I find this statement very interesting. Can you explain what you mean? What type of protection do women need men for? I don’t intend to debate your viewpoint, I just find it curious in this day and age.
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Not a moral or religious issue at all.

But I DO think that today, more than ever, ladies should expect (perhaps demand) that the guy do the proposing. Men today are the wimpiest guys in perhaps a millenia and yet they often have the most monstrous of egos. If he simply isn’t willing to risk that ego and face the chance of rejection, he’s not going to be a good husband. IMO, the same goes for dating!

Make us man up, ladies! (Easy for me to say, I’m married. But I did it the hard/right way!) As for you men, don’t be such wusses. Ask her out. Poor baby, she might say no! To your surprise, you will survive.
 
manualman said:
If he simply isn’t willing to risk that ego and face the chance of rejection, he’s not going to be a good husband. IMO, the same goes for dating!
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I think this is the key. Men are called to be sacrificial to themselves for their beloveds, as Christ is to His Church. He didn’t say,“Hey, anyone gonna follow me if I get crucified?” - He set an example, took a risk, made the first move; to show us His love before we were fully ready to respond.

Hopefully, a seriously dating couple will have discussed marriage in general, and a lady hoping for a proposal would do well to drop a hint or two to encourage her boyfriend! But I think the possibility of being rejected when asking the question, makes it very much the male role.
 
*Some things men should do…this is one. I’m old fashioned…no way would I want my daughter proposing to a man… :dts:

Plus, how does a woman propose, then turn around and be submissive to her husband? I think that people underestimate how this can get complicated. I have a very close friend who asked her husband to marry her. He now defers to her for all decision making, she is working two jobs, while he just flounders about, he doesn’t take a leadership role in the home, (she tells me these things) etc…in essence, she became the man of the relationship.

Now…before I get flamed…lol This is MY opinion. But, I have not seen it work yet. I’m sure it might work…but, I would not want my daughter …what…getting down on one knee and proposing? No.

Chivalry is not dead in my household. 😉 If you want to ask a man to marry you…that’s fine…I just don’t personally think it’s the wise route. *
 
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