Meggie, I’m so sorry for the pain you’re going through now. And at this time (Christmas) which we all want to be so happy. Things which wouldn’t bother you so much at other times just look and feel so huge now, and your energy level must be shot (hope you aced your finals).
Anyway, remember that God created those little birds–and you, and me. He created all of us for good, even if sometimes bad things happen. Remember, He only does the good–God never created evil, and He suffers with us when we experience it. When Lazarus died, even though Jesus knew it, and knew He was going to resurrect Lazarus, He still wept, when He saw his friends weeping.
But somehow, someway, God, being God, can take even the most evil things–the Holocaust, 9/11, etc.–and turn them into good. We might not see how He can, we don’t understand, we can go for years, decades, centuries, millennia withiout seeing it, or seeing it clearly, but we have to trust.
Faith is a gift. I don’t think you’re rejecting it, only questioning it. And that’s normal and natural, and can make you much stronger. If you have a chance over the break, find (on
amazon.com or in a used book store, St. John of the Cross’s “The Dark Night of the Soul”, or read St. Therese of Lisieux’s “The Story of a Soul”). Those are two good books to read to help put suffering, questioning, and spiritual dryness into perspective. I’m a great believer in not “reinventing the wheel”–and who better to help out than people, saints no less, who’ve been through the wringer themselves and would understand so well?
I cry myself every time I see a poor little dead critter–and I live in the boonies so it’s a daily thing–but I know that God has loved them even more than I do, and that somehow good will come. After all, we got the ASPCA etc. from people who saw the suffering of helpless animals, and even though there’s still suffering, every animal that’s been treated, sheltered, adopted etc. by a caring family has benefitted, indirectly, from the suffering of animals before it which ignited the caring of those who started the ASPCA and all of those who have been involved in the last 100 or so years, and will continue in the future.
Maybe you’ll be one of those who makes such a wonderful difference to animals, or people, because you have such a caring and empathatic heart that you feel distress at their pain and suffering. Look at doctors–they don’t save every patient, and that hurts them, and makes them try even harder. It isn’t easy for them, and a lot of time they might want to give up because they can’t do enough, or can’t save everyone. . .but if they gave up, pretty soon nobody would be helped.
May God bless you in your coming and going. He loves you so very much.
