Can an EMHC, struggling with his faith, continue to volunteer?

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I don’t think your son is required to abstain from the Eucharist. The graces from the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ, may just strengthen his resolve to faith. As may serving. Is he an altar boy?
 
He was an altar boy for four years but gave that up gladly after he was confirmed thus currently helping as an EMHC. We try to instill in our children to be in service during Mass. God gives us so much daily 24/7 - If they can play video games for 3 to 5 hours straight, 15 minutes to be an EMHC is not too much to ask. We think serving helps them realize Mass is not a spectator event.

The abstaining from the Eucharist was mutually agreed upon. He said that it makes sense while he figure things out since he “doesn’t feel right” to receive Jesus. However, he insists he doesn’t believe…but my husband and I think something will click for him spiritually, and he’ll figure it out eventually.

Thank you for sharing your insight.
 
Have you a sense of when he started to question his beliefs? It would be interesting to hear what’s driving his thinking, too.
 
OP, if it were my son, I would let him step away from his EMHC duties if that is his wish.

Honestly, how can he stand and give communion to others when he doesn’t believe what he is saying? Find him another opportunity to serve his parish if you insist he help at church. If your church is lacking, perhaps you or your husband can become EMHC instead.
 
You can be a man of god and a jerk, they are not exclusive categories. Pretending they are is one of the roots of clericalism.
 
I apologize, I meant to write “acting like a jerk”. He also could have been having a bad day, confused, etc. Poor interpersonal skills do not make one unholy.
 
I’d suggest two things.

First, spend some time over at the Strange Notions website. Encourage your son to read over there. https://strangenotions.com/

Second, get a copy of Trent Horn’s “Why We’re Catholic”, read it and ask your son to read it.

When a teen has questions and struggles, help him learn where to find the answers. Let his decision to act as EMHC be between him and his pastor. I KNOW it is difficult, but, it is the time in his life to let him decide.
 
StrugglingMom said:
his reply is he doesn’t feel God in his life
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Okay, serial posting but this line keeps coming back to me.

Are you aware of Sherry Waddel’s work that began with “Forming Intentional Disciples”? There was another book written years ago “Converting The Baptized”.

We have so many Catholics who leave because they were taught head knowledge, taught to recite the right things, received the Sacraments, but, they have never been discipled. They have never had a personal relationship with Christ (and Catholics often react to that statement with “what is more personal than the Eucharist!!!”

Your son is telling you that he needs that relationship.
 
StrugglingMom said:
About 6 months ago, he said he wants to quit serving because he said it doesn’t sit right with him serving the Holy Eucharist/Blood while struggling with his belief.
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You and your husband are in the wrong here

You shouldn’t force your son to do this
 
StrugglingMom said:
About your “b” - this is an eye-opener. Will chew on this for awhile.

About your “c” - he said it’s because he isn’t feeling anything about God. He prays but doesn’t see/feel anything different. We explained to him that it happens but that as individuals we have to keep seeking Him out in dialogue, books, in relationship with others. He is a stoic introverted kid - having him open up is like pulling teeth - but we continue to try.
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Thank you,

Permit me to further explain:

An EM is actual Jesus Christ {God}

God can be briefly defined as as “ALL GOOD THINGS PERFECTED”

Are you aware that a Soul MUST in an absolute sense be either
PERFECT upon deatg
OR able to be MADE PERFECT {purgatory} in order to attain the Beatific Vision {heaven}

God being “perfect” cannot, will not permit anything NOT “perfect into His Presence”

Also a thought. When anyone is not in the state of grace; that is a flashing sign to God to “back off a bit”; until such a Soul returns to the State of Grace.

As to “c”; you might share that God TEST most often and most severely those that He most loves; in order to test the depth of THAT LOVE.

The universal practice of “religion” is commonly termed ones “faith” precisely because God will and God does TEST US, to require of us FAITH in Him.

Not a note on #3
This being “too busy” for religious education classes MIGHT {??} be a teaching moment?

If any of us are to find true inner peace; it will be because we have taught ourselves to always place GOD first. Start every day with prayer; and end every day with prayer. …The More OFTEN , and consistantly we seek God; the more evident will be God seeking us.

Your doing GREAT!

To Jesus through Mary,
Patrick
 
There is an excellent film by director Ingmar Bergman entitled Winter Light, in which a Lutheran pastor, having lost his faith, decides to continue leading his flock and preaching the Word of God. This is very much the situation Mother Teresa found herself in, some forty-nine years before her death. She too lost her faith, and made the decision to continue living as Christ wanted her to live, even though she no longer believed in His existence. The point is that strong faith is not always a necessary component of effective Christian service. Christ can still be carried to others, even if the carrier feels himself unworthy or has lost his belief.
 
  1. It’s a basic principle that a non-communicant can’t give Communion. Even the priest receives before he gives; and priests must receive in order to say Mass. The old saying was, “Nemo dat quod non habet.” “No one can give what he does not have.”
If your son has not been receiving, and everybody knows that it’s not because he already received at the 8 AM Mass (or whatever)… well, words fail me. Your priest should have said something, because it’s his responsibility. Obviously you and your kid were ignorant that this was a sacrilegious practice, and all I can hope is that the priest was, too.

(If your kid was just having momentary doubts, and was still able to receive in good conscience, that would be different. Many people get wobbly in their faith, a few times in their lives.)

(And yeah, if this was the old days, and your son was just holding the paten and not acting as an EMHC, he could have skipped Communion and not been doing anything improper. Although usually a server was supposed to be able to receive.)
  1. Participating in a ministry during Mass is very nice. Encouraging your children to serve is nice. But having faith is more important. Seriously. Let the kid study up on BEING Catholic. If you want him to do service, have him do charity work. But as people said above, the best thing is to get to know Jesus personally. Without that, kids tend to hit college and never go back to church.
  2. Forced ministry is not ministry at all. If your son is old enough to receive Communion, he is responsible for his own soul, to a very great extent. You can legitimately do stuff like drag him to church (“As long as you live under my roof” was a favorite with my parents!), but slavery and indentured servitude are forbidden in church offices and duties.
 
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I went through something like that. Preschool through senior year at the church and school where dad is the pastor and mom is the principal. Spending 6 days a week at church got my quite cynical after I had left to go to college it gets better. His faith is still there but he may need time to see it. Going to college and just going to the LCMS chapel on campus meeting a small group of people your own age snapped me out of my funk.
 
It’s the pastor’s church, so what he says, goes.

However, I think your son needs to make his own decision about what he wants to do here. It is not helpful to have Mom and Dad pushing him at being an EMHC. This is not an “eat your vegetables, they’re good for you” moment. It’s a serious commitment. And if your son is old enough to be an EMHC, he’s too old for Mom and Dad to be dictating his behavior in an “eat your vegetables” way. He’s basically not a kid any more whom you order around.

I would recommend that your son go and talk with the pastor about whether he wishes to continue as an EMHC. If the pastor had his own faith crisis as a teen, he may have some helpful advice. The pastor can also discuss with your son the situation with the visiting priest.

Overall, I also think that you as parents need to take a giant step back. This is becoming less about your son’s belief and what he feels he should do, and more about what you as parents want him to do. That’s not good. You seem to only care about whether you’re committing sin by “insisting he serves” and ignoring the practical effect that, whether or not this is a sin, you’re having an effect on your son that might not be a good one. Basically telling him that his own conscience/ judgment is no good and he needs to do what you, the parents, dictate to him. This is not the way to handle someone who is having doubt.
 
The best thing to do is to make sure he realizes what God is, and that he does already believe in this. The best way to do this might be to read the book "Revelations/Showings of Divine Love by Sr. Julian of Norwich. Other good writings are by Bishop Fulton Sheen, and his television programs, St Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Theologica, especially the first part on what God is and how to know it exists. Another good writing are the devotional hymns by Fr. Faber from England, pictured on my profile, such as his collection “Jesus and Mary”. These emphasize the great love and mercy of God. Once we understand that God is not a supreme being, but Supreme Being Itself, then we will realize that all people actually do believe in him. For example, St Thomas’ 5 proofs do not prove there is some type of giant person in the sky, since that is what an idol is, “We may not suppose, the Divinity to be like unto gold or silver, or stone, the graving of art and device of man.” Believing in a caricature of this kind is something that no reasonable person should be expected to do. But it does prove the existence of existence, the true god, YHWH (which means existence), who is the existence in whom we live and move and be. This great misunderstanding about the nature of God has led to most conflicts about religion, and to people thinking that Thomas’ 5 proofs do not prove God. That’s because they’re thinking of God incorrectly. This the Lord has revealed to me in the last few years, and it has allowed me to see that everything does make sense, and that this God does exist, and that the images of God presented in the bible are just symbols not to be thought of as the reality. This revolutionary understanding (even though it was the original understanding, going back to Jewish and earlier religions) has allowed me to understand everything in a totally new light, and to find out that it was not all made up, as I was starting to believe when I still had the wrong idea of the difference between gods and God. Now I know that truly, as our Lord said, “Sin is behoovable (needed), but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

"To seek God, if happily (by chance) they may feel or find him, although he be not far from every one of us… as certain also of your own poëts said, For of his kind also we are… And the times truly of this ignorance whereas God disregarded, now he denounceth unto humans that all everywhere do penance (metanoia, or to change your mind to the true understanding of divinity.)
 
I would second that perhaps finding new ways for him to serve would be good. I might also say that volunteering could be a good way to help reconnect him to faith and to connect with others. Trying to make a teenager act out his faith when he doesn’t accept it is rarely a winning strategy in the long-term.
 
He’s not really volunteering if you are insisting he serve. He is right in being obedient to his parents, but if he doesn’t want to do it, it’s not voluntary.

He’s of the age of reason. Let it be his decision to make.
 
PJM said:
God being “perfect” cannot, will not permit anything NOT “perfect into His Presence”
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Then how did God and Satan get together and make bets about how Job would react if God let Satan torture Job and kill his children?
 
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