This I can do for you. I raised myself as an atheist, but eventually outgrew atheism. (Zeitgeist) I was ‘inspired’ by my sister, who was, and regrettably still is, Wiccan, and I researched that ‘‘religion.’’ It wasn’t long before I ran afoul of Wicca, as it, to me, seemed like a pathetic rerendering of something you would see at woodstock. The way everything has to rhyme, the indulgence of carnal sins raised as virtual ethics… Not to mention the insistent lack of orignal theology. I later came into Germanic occultism as a replacement theology. I entrenched myself in Germanic occultism, and while it wasn’t as easy as atheism or as publically acceptable, it fit me better than Wicca did, as where fake religo\ion is concerned, Wicca is the most sensationalist of them all. I read all the Germanic occult books I could get my hands on. I learned how to use the Runes both esoterically and exoterically and even began to feel as though they had prophetic power. For instance if I were to display your name in Runes, especially where it has a Germanic feel, you could derive subjective meaning from each individual character in your name, for instance, Berka (B) stands for strength, Odahl (o) stands for blessings or properties, Hagal (h) stands for creation or birth, and the list goes on. One could put the meanings together and construct an esoteric “destiny” from them. Of course, retrospectively, I know that what I have worked with is little more than what Sylvia Browne and John Edwards do every day. Statistically speaking, if I were to draw out your name in Runes I would come to the conclusion that you were a person of natural wealth and dignity, an examplar of man. And while you may be, truly, let us consider the actual odds of my being correct. I thank God that I wasn’t sucked too deeply into the occult that I would have committed any truly and mortally measurable sins, outside of the obvious disloyalty to God. But I digress. I began learning German because I had allowed the sage ‘masters’ such as Edred Thorsson and Galina Krosskova (who apparently hung a young virgin from hooks ) to convince me that because German was a purer language it would therefore bring me closer to the gods, specifically wodenaz, who was the supposed god of wisdom. However, my tenure into the occult was Gracefully cut short. Ironically, it was an atheist that killed my faith in the gods and allowed me to come to faith in The God. I began posting my pagan artwork on DeviantArt hoping to find a Germanic Troth to join, specifically one that spoke German or reformed Saxon, the languages I had taught myself. And while I did find some ‘Heathens’ as they preferred to be called, they were almost entirely disingenuous. The intellectual heathens had more faith in nietszche than they did their own gods. Indeed, the lynchpins of the heathen faith insist that one should understand the gods as a psychological urge, which is a distinctly jungian concept. The heathen groups that did adhere to belief in gods were almost entirely composed of simpletons. This lack of religious sincerity is one of the reasons why the atheist was so thoroughly able to shatter my ragamuffin belief system. However, I no longer believe that it was the sheer will of the atheist who had done this, but rather the will of God. The atheist himself was no true pillar of intellect, as opposed to what the heathen intellectuals claimed to be. I could go one for pages, on the inconsistencies of heathen life, and I have in the books I have written. Maybe someday I will publish them. However, if you have any other questions I would be happy to answer them, on this thread, or elsewhere if preferred. Before I forget, the reason I chose Catholicism is actually very simple. After God cured me of the resulting atheism from my ruptured paganism I began researching Christian Apologetics. Most of the Apologetics I researched were of the Protestant persuasion. Through it all I had the nagging urge to research Catholicism but always held back. However, after hearing just why the Catholics were so evil ‘evil’ or ‘misguided’ for the umpteen thousandth time I actually began to research Mother Church and found that She was far more consistent and has a much fuller body than any of the Protestant religions, not to insult their thinkers. I shall borrow a phrase from the Black Church I read about the other day, I think that I was ‘moving with the Spirit’ when I came to Catholicism. One more thing, if you will, the biggest reason I was able to convert to Christianity was for the simple fact that the pagans are graverobbers. More than half of what they tout is stolen from Christianity. Point and parcel is the celestial body, or soul. The modern pagan descriptions of the soul are virtually identical to the way the Apostle desrcibes the soul in the New Testament. That, and through it all, I couldn’t believe their jive about ‘no such thing as sin.’ Except, of course, unless you hurt a cat, in which case the Germanic pagans promise the ‘goddess’ freyja will ‘punish’ you. And while I’ve never actually hurt a cat to prove them wrong, it’s just a further reminder of how ridiculous empty and fake religions can be. In concluding, I wish to confess that I do think that the Universal and Apostolic (Catholic) Church is the truest and most hoenst way to God. I hope this information helps.
