Can anyone tell me about Catholic weddings?

[stonefield]

Baptism incorporates you into the Body of Christ-- the Church. So, by “rejecting your baptism” I meant that you reject the Church and God. That is what an atheist is, correct? A person who rejects the idea that God exists. Anyhow, I didn’t mean anything by it, just that it might be relevant to your discussion with the priest.

Sorry, yes, I probably misinterpreted your words. If I am rejecting my babtism by being an atheist, whether I want to or not, I understand.

 

[stonefield]

Do they have Pre-Cana classes in Peru?

My husband isn’t Catholic and hasn’t been baptized. We got married in the Catholic church with a full mass. He even recieved communion. Our priest told him this would be a one time deal unless he went through RCIA.

Sorry I don’t know what Pre-Cana classes are?

I know there are talks we should go to as a preparation for marriage. As far as I can gather, these talks/lectures/seminars must be attended in the parish where we are to be married.

I don’t feel qualified to comment on the rest of your post. Isnt that against the rules?

 

[Rach620]

Sorry, yes, I probably misinterpreted your words. If I am rejecting my babtism by being an atheist, whether I want to or not, I understand.

Isn’t the point of atheism rejecting your baptism?

I mean, why, as an atheist, would you not want to reject a profession of religious faith in a God whom you don’t believe exists? The only explanation that I can come up with is that you view it as a sort of cultural identity-forming thing, more than anything else.

Baptism is more than an initiation into a cultural Catholic community, just as marriage is more than an expression of deeper commitment.

This message has been watered down in many countries in which Catholicism has been the dominant faith for many years–but it doesn’t mean that the message is any different.

Definitely talk to that priest before you marry your bride.

 

[kage_ar]

Do they have Pre-Cana classes in Peru?

My husband isn’t Catholic and hasn’t been baptized. We got married in the Catholic church with a full mass. He even recieved communion. Our priest told him this would be a one time deal unless he went through RCIA.

 

[1ke]

Sorry I don’t know what Pre-Cana classes are?

Marriage preparation, in general, is required. Each diocese has it’s own method of preparation.

Pre-Cana is a specific program of marriage preparation. Another is Engaged Encounter. These are programs developed by a company/ministry and then deployed in a diocese who chooses to pay to use them. Facilitators are trained in the course and course materials are purchased by the diocese and provided to the participants.

Our diocese doens’t use either of these programs, they created their own. I would guess in Peru they likely don’t use Pre-Cana but something developed locally-- or even just meetings with the priest.

I know there are talks we should go to as a preparation for marriage. As far as I can gather, these talks/lectures/seminars must be attended in the parish where we are to be married.

Then, this is the marriage prep program. It’s not the Pre-Cana class, specifically, but it’s equivalent.

I don’t feel qualified to comment on the rest of your post. Isnt that against the rules?

Yes, it is most definitely against the rules. And, I am glad that you are aware of that and OK with it, and that you respect your fiance’s faith so much.

 

[stonefield]

Isn’t the point of atheism rejecting your baptism?

I mean, why, as an atheist, would you not want to reject a profession of religious faith in a God whom you don’t believe exists? The only explanation that I can come up with is that you view it as a sort of cultural identity-forming thing, more than anything else.

I don’t really want to argue on this forum. That wasn’t the purpose of my initial post.

When I decided that I was an atheist I certainly wasn’t thinking of my baptism, only whether or not I believed in God, so no, I don’t think the point of atheism is to reject babtism. One can always argue that any belief is a rejection of something else by definition. I wouldn’t characterise your Catholic faith as primarily a rejection of something else rather than a positive decision, and I suppose I resent my beliefs being characterised as one of rejection of something I haven’t even thought about.

 

[JimG]

In Catholic belief, baptism has a real effect, imparting a distinctive character to the soul in such a way that if one could actually see souls, one could immediately see the difference between a baptized and a non-baptized person. This change is permanent, and that’s why the Church allows baptism to be done only once, presuming the first one to be valid.

So, although you are a self-characterized atheist, the Catholic Church would view you as one who has been permanently marked with the sign of Christ, even though not currently practicing any particular faith. While I’m no expert on this, I’m thinking that, because of your baptism, your marriage would be considered not only valid but sacramental.

"PS: As mentioned by another poster, I’m sure that the “forgiveness for not being Catholic” document was simply a dispensation from the local bishop. Forgiveness had nothing to do with it.)

 

[1ke]

I have never heard that before - how interesting. Surely that’s just one of the purposes and not the only one.

Here is a link to the Catechism, which gives a summarization of the Church’s teaching on marriage.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm

From what you have posted, it sounds like your fiance may be more “culturally” Catholic than practicing. Does she attend Mass weekly and adhere to the Church’s teachings?

 

[stonefield]

In Catholic belief, baptism has a real effect, imparting a distinctive character to the soul in such a way that if one could actually see souls, one could immediately see the difference between a baptized and a non-baptized person. This change is permanent, and that’s why the Church allows baptism to be done only once, presuming the first one to be valid.

So, although you are a self-characterized atheist, the Catholic Church would view you as one who has been permanently marked with the sign of Christ, even though not currently practicing any particular faith. While I’m no expert on this, I’m thinking that, because of your baptism, your marriage would be considered not only valid but sacramental.

"PS: As mentioned by another poster, I’m sure that the “forgiveness for not being Catholic” document was simply a dispensation from the local bishop. Forgiveness had nothing to do with it.)

Facinating! I’m not sure if this is getting complicated or if I’m just getting confused. There seems to be a range of opinions, as there often is on complicated issues.

I’m also not sure how important this is to me personally though I suppose it might be important to my fiance. I will be tell the priest everything honestly and hope he does the right thing.

 

[stonefield]

Here is a link to the Catechism, which gives a summarization of the Church’s teaching on marriage.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm

From what you have posted, it sounds like your fiance may be more “culturally” Catholic than practicing. Does she attend Mass weekly and adhere to the Church’s teachings?

Thanks for the link. I will read it!

On your second point, I wouldn’t feel unconfortable commenting on my fiance’s following of her faith in her absense. She doesn’t speak English so is unable to participate or defend herself here. And I am hardly qualified to judge.

Now… I better stop answering these interesting comment and do some work today…

 

[maryjk]

As others have mentioned, current canon law requires a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic. And, it is your spouse who makes the promise to raise the children Catholic. You sign a paper acknowledging that you are aware of this promise.

Is this universal? I don’t remember my husband signing one of these.

Now, we had a convalidation, maybe that is the difference?

There was a time that the priest, before the day of the convalidation, remarked on the Catholic education of our son and asked about additional children. Specifically, if I would continue to raise our son Catholic and would we raise any addition children in the faith. But this was a verbal question and there was no paper to sign.

 

[Tweety]

Thanks for the info. There has been no formal act of defection as such. It is an odd idea for me to say that I reject my baptism. I have no recollection of what it involved and why it was done, so have no reason to reject it. I have always known I was babtised and it has just become an accepted part of me. I’m sure my parents thought they were doing the right thing for me at the time so it is difficult for me to reject it.

From the responses so far I think I should just say I can produce no record of my babtism and leave it to the preist to decide if there should be a Mass or not.

My mother in law died when my husband was 15 and when we were doing our marriage preparation, our priest asked if he was ever baptised? He did not know this as they never spoke of Baptism or God at home or went to a Church, but he remembers his parents telling him to write down Church of England for something in school… He had a major fallout with his father who comes from a Scottish/Protestant background. We thought this may screw up our impending marriage, but our priest allowed it. Please nobody tell me that my marriage is invalid!

My husband had to sign a document saying that our children would be Baptised Catholic and he had no problem with that. We were given a book each, (a his and her book) and we had to answer questions and read things. It was good for us…

We did not have a Mass as he was an atheist who has turned agnostic (and i am waiting patiently for the next step ) but had full respect for my faith.

Our priest told us that by him marrying me in the faith, he can enter heaven. So, your wife will save your soul so to speak… I hope i haven’t freaked you out

Good luck and may the Lord bless your marriage.

 

[1ke]

Is this universal? I don’t remember my husband signing one of these.

Now, we had a convalidation, maybe that is the difference?

There was a time that the priest, before the day of the convalidation, remarked on the Catholic education of our son and asked about additional children. Specifically, if I would continue to raise our son Catholic and would we raise any addition children in the faith. But this was a verbal question and there was no paper to sign.

To my knowledge that is part of the dispensation paperwork process.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

Our priest told us that by him marrying me in the faith, he can enter heaven. So, your wife will save your soul so to speak… I hope i haven’t freaked you out

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that anyone can save another person’s soul. They may be able to lead another to Christ, but that person freely chooses whether or not to accept Him.

God bless you.

 

[stbruno]

This is a great website from our diocese and it should answer most of your questions about Catholic weddings. You can read it in English or Spanish…

familyministries.org/www.inthespiritofcana.org/default.htm