Hi Christopher: Me again…I got drawn back into this with a further question for you - You didn’t ask it of me (why someone would ‘choose’ same sex attraction) but I wanted to respond and pose a different ??
My quick answer to your question is, of course, that I don’t know…don’t know if anyone does. For some it may BE a choice (who really knows the human mind/will ??). Some may feel they are pre-determined and not feel they’re free to ‘choose’. The deeper answer, imo, is that there’s no ‘one size fits all’ here. This is a very complex issue, as human beings themselves are very complex. There are probably myriad reasons for homosexuality to exist and many different reasons why this or that person either finds themselves in the situation - or acts out/on it in their lives.
What I wanted to ask you about is this: For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that either
A) a person IS ‘born that way’ or
B) the tendency to same sex attraction ‘feels’ so fundamental and ‘having always been there’, that it amounts to the same thing. i.e. not a choice but ‘just the way they ARE’.
Assuming that premise, how is same sex attraction for homosexuals any different than the sexual attraction sins for heterosexuals (infidelity, adultery, lust, pornography, etc.)? For that matter, how are the particular struggles of the homosexual (re sin) different from those of all of humanity? (Homosexuals and heterosexuals [as well as all the ‘bi’. ‘trans’ and other variations] are subject to the same wounded human nature. Those who are not homosexual are also tempted to and predisposed to (concupiscence) sexual activities, sins against chasity, that are not moral and not permitted under God’s law for the realization and development of our full humanity and holiness. And, I might add, we all are attracted to a whole host of other sinful behaviors besides sexual!)
In many minds (not including you here, necessarily), the feeling is that because the ‘nature’ or ‘make-up’ of homosexuals creates in them a desire for same sex activity - or because they may not have a choice in being homosexual, they should be able to engage in the sexuality of their choice, and the heterosexual world should accept it because it’s ‘just the way they are made’. [Active] homosexuals maintain their sexual behavior should be seen as just as legit / viable as heterosexuality.
But I’m ‘born’ the way I am, too - i.e. sinful and attracted to sin. So why doesn’t that reasoning apply to me?
I’m sure you’re familiar with the notion that homosexuality should be seen as ‘just another lifestyle’. If it IS just another lifestyle, then choice rears its ugly head again because one is not ‘coerced’ (by nature) into a lifestyle; we assume one ‘chooses’ a lifestyle. If it’s not a ‘lifestyle choice’, but is something these persons cannot control, then I’m back to why it’s ok to ‘normalize’ THEIR sin (by not
calling it sin), when my sin is not and cannot be ‘normalized’.
In sum, if homosexuals are attracted to and desirous of a behavior that God clearly condemns, why and how is that any different from all the behaviors I am attracted to and desire, that God also condemns? I must struggle against my temptations daily - and they come from the same place the homosexual’s temptations and struggles come from - i.e. the way I was made; my fallen human nature. What of my free will? Not my free will regarding how I am made, but my free will regarding my actions and behavior? Are we not ALL responsible, before God, for our ACTIONS? Is my “natural inclination” sufficient reason for me to ‘act’ on whatever of those inclinations I want/feel?
My thought here is that maybe by taking this to ‘sin’, in general, and removing it specifically from the sexual arena - which is highly charged - we might see it in its true nature. It’s true that re homosexuality, we are discussing sexual sins - but by stepping back a little we see that sexual sin is just one more form of sin, period - and the struggle is ALWAYS against our ‘natural inclinations’. If we can address ourselves to sin itself (and not treat a specific ‘type’ of sin as though it stands alone) maybe we can broaden our views and ideas…and address the question of why, simply because an inclination is found in human nature, it is therefore ok to be acted on. I’m interested to hear your thoughts…

thanks -