Can Deacons Remarry?

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Yesterday I attended a communion service at the hospital where I work because a priest was not available for Mass. What seemed to be the acceptable format was followed including the reading of the Gospel, a homily, Holy Communion, and a final blessing. Afterward, I was informed that the deacon who provided the service was recently re-married. His first wife died about three years ago. He became a deacon after her death. Is he able to remarry or obtain a special dispensation to do so? If not, how should I handle this situation that may happen again?
 
From the US Conference of Catholic Bishops website:

In keeping with ancient practice is the expectation that while a married man may be ordained, an ordained man, if his wife should die, may not marry again without special permission.

It does look like some deacons do remarry, though it is not the norm.
 
The general rule is that once someone has been ordained he cannot marry (or remarry in the case of the death of a deacon’s wife). However, he could petition Rome for a dispensation and if it is granted he could marry.
 
Should I seek to find out if he was granted a dispensation? Should I worry about this at all? Is it best to ask him directly about his situation?
 
MCMiller said:
Should I seek to find out if he was granted a dispensation? Should I worry about this at all? Is it best to ask him directly about his situation?
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Not to be curt or rude or sound smug… But if you are anything like me, you have better things to worry about that can consume your time. My guess would be that everything is on the up and up… But it really isn’t in the realm of things we need to worry about.
 
They made it very clear in our diocese that permanent deacons would not re-marry, if they outlived their spouse. We had to sign a legal document in this matter. However, I have heard that in the case of a permanent deacon, who’s wife dies and leaves him with small children to raise on his own-no family close by to help-there is the possibility of a dispensation. Most of my classmates were older candidates with no small children. We did have a couple that were raising their grandchildren. That would have been an interesting one. The grandkids are now grown up.
 
There are a couple of reasons why this is “an issue for me”. A communion service meets the Sunday obligation if a priest is not available to say Mass, correct? Would this not be an invalid service? Secondly, I have a sense of deep sorrow when Canon Law is disobeyed. It is as though someone is saying “I can do whatever I want and it is ok”. Every time such transgressions occur, there is an erosion in some way, of our church community or the integrity of the liturgy. However small it may seem, it has an impact. I do not know a great deal about the deaconate and am grateful to this forum for the opportunity to gain information and also a sense for how such an issue should be handled. I actually do have time for this…when I value something, no time or effort is too much to gain a better understanding. Thank you everyone for your help with this.
Just for clarification, this deacon does not have any children.
 
MCMiller said:
There are a couple of reasons why this is “an issue for me”. A communion service meets the Sunday obligation if a priest is not available to say Mass, correct?
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No. If there is a Mass within a reasonable distance then that would meet your obligation. If the closest church is too distant then there’s no obligation since you can’t be obligated to do what is impossible.
Would this not be an invalid service?
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There’s nothing valid or invalid about it. The hosts that are distributed are consecrated at a a prior Mass. Anyone can lead a communion service, there’s no need to be ordained.
Secondly, I have a sense of deep sorrow when Canon Law is disobeyed.
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Why would you ASSUME that there is something wrong here? While it’s not canon law, the Catechism teaches: 2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way.

Wouldn’t it make sense to assume that everything is kosher? Especially since it doesn’t honestly matter if the man is a deacon or not in this case. As I said, a lay person can lead a communion service.
 
MCMiller said:
There are a couple of reasons why this is “an issue for me”. A communion service meets the Sunday obligation if a priest is not available to say Mass, correct? Would this not be an invalid service? …
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The Communion service does not meet the requirement of Sunday Mass obligation. However, the Sunday Mass obligation does not subsist if Mass is not available. The Communion service is a valid service and it can be held by a Deacon or appropriate layperson.
MCMiller said:
Secondly, I have a sense of deep sorrow when Canon Law is disobeyed. It is as though someone is saying “I can do whatever I want and it is ok”. Every time such transgressions occur, there is an erosion in some way, of our church community or the integrity of the liturgy. However small it may seem, it has an impact…
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That is a good approach toward obedience.
MCMiller said:
I do not know a great deal about the deaconate and am grateful to this forum for the opportunity to gain information and also a sense for how such an issue should be handled. I actually do have time for this…when I value something, no time or effort is too much to gain a better understanding. Thank you everyone for your help with this.
Just for clarification, this deacon does not have any children.
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I am glad that you asking for information before being uncharitable toward the Deacon. You have the right approach.

A Deacon cannot remarry without dispensation after he has been ordained. I would find it impossible for a Deacon to remarry outside the Church and still fulfill his duties. It does not look like he is keeping his life secret and so I am quite sure that he has the Bishop approval.
 
plato3 said:
They made it very clear in our diocese that permanent deacons would not re-marry, if they outlived their spouse. ***We had to sign a legal document in this matter. ***However, I have heard that in the case of a permanent deacon, who’s wife dies and leaves him with small children to raise on his own-no family close by to help-there is the possibility of a dispensation. Most of my classmates were older candidates with no small children. We did have a couple that were raising their grandchildren. That would have been an interesting one. The grandkids are now grown up.
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What kind of legal document do you have to sign? In my Diocese during the application to be accepted in formation you have to state your understanding of what the requirement means and that you will respect it. I think that from a canon law point of view a simple verbal statement would be considerate binding. I doubt that from the civil law point of view such a document would be binding.
 
In our diocese, they put this in writting and we signed it as one would sign an oath. It might have also been notarized. I know they must have it on file. We never got a copy-the wives might have signed this also-stating that they were aware of this requirement.This was done close to the end of formation, when we were fingerprinted and were getting ready for our parish internships. We had two regular lawyers in our formation class. They never said a thing about it. Don’t know if it came from our canon lawyers. The only thing that mattered of course was that we would not be able to continue on to Ordination without this signed document. So I agree it was not a civil problem. Guess our bishop wanted to leave no doubts about how he felt and there have been no deacons that have re-married that I know of, here.
 
plato3 said:
…The only thing that mattered of course was that we would not be able to continue on to Ordination without this signed document. So I agree it was not a civil problem. Guess our bishop wanted to leave no doubts about how he felt and there have been no deacons that have re-married that I know of, here.
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Better safe than sorry! 👍
 
“Why would you ASSUME that there is something wrong here? While it’s not canon law, the Catechism teaches: 2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way.”

I think I am avoiding rash judgement. I am seeking your counsel. Another at the service was very surprised to see this man serving in such a capacity knowing he had just married. Her concern prompted my original question. You seem so hostile regarding my inquiry. I have not made assumptions but am curious. I will temper my reaction based on knowledge. I am gaining a better understanding with each correspondence.
Although a lay person can lead a Communion service, he or she may not proclaim the Gospel or give a homily. That is what made this occasion questionable.
 
MCMiller said:
Although a lay person can lead a Communion service, he or she may not proclaim the Gospel or give a homily. That is what made this occasion questionable.
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No. A lay person may not do those things at Mass. A communion service is not a Mass. A lay person may proclaim the Gospel and give a reflection (or not…it’s not required).
 
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