Can Diocesan Priests be Married?

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CatholicofAgora

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I love Christ and I love the Church. Ever since I read the gospels I became absolutely fascinated with the idea of Christ appointing the twelve apostles as ambassadors of Christ to go out in his name and do the things that he called them to do persona-Christi, in the person of Christ. As a Protestant, I wanted nothing more than to be a church pastor and draw others to Christ. I wanted to be an ambassador for Christ in the closest sense. Now that I’m Catholic, even though that pastoral role is magnified (and made that much appealing to me) I find that it would come at a much higher cost. Honestly, I think that I would be 100% if it weren’t for the vow of celibacy. I’m very good at counseling/consulting with others, especially in the name of Christ. I’ve had many people, even atheists say that I make them feel closer to God, and I do. I can very easily see me filling the role of a priest. Most people can look into the mirror and easily say; “Yeah, I’m definitely not called to be a priest.” The thing that scares me is that I don’t have that luxury.

The reason why this is such a conflict to me is because I also think that I would make a good husband to someone, someday. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in 19 years, it’s that some people seriously should not get married. However, I’ve been in a serious relationship for two years before. I don’t think that we were meant for each other. I mean, she cheated on me because she really needed to figure herself out. She still cries at the sight of me. She wants to continue seeing other people but felt as though she were throwing away what she had with me, which she was. I know that I’m very good in a relationship. I would never curse at my wife or take my family for granted. In a relationship, I am very selfless, sympathetic, loyal, and sensual. I’m not saying that I’m prince charming or anything, I’m just saying that there are a lot of people who don’t have these qualities, or only have one (i.e. sensual.)

Honestly, the more I think about this the more I loath the priestly celibacy in the Latin Rite. I think that AT LEAST diocesan priests should be allowed to get married. Members have pointed out that those priests in other rites who are married or are married and convert over to the Latin Rite exhibit no difference in performing the Sacraments than those who are celibate. I think it would even help the shortage of priests, as people in my position would feel less conflicted over this. I got to talking to a priest in training via internet about this, and he suggested that if I have all the makings of a good lover and a good priest that I should consider becoming a diocesan priest who is allowed to get/be married. Is this true? Can a diocesan priest get/be married?

What are your thoughts, CAF? Thanks, God bless!
 
Mike30 said:
There are married Priests in the Roman Church.
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Yes, but usually because they’ve converted over from another sect. I don’t want to be Orthodox for a few years just to swim the Tiber again. It wouldn’t be right to sneak under the radar like that…
 
There are many that were married protestant ministers as well.
 
Mike30 said:
There are many that were married protestant ministers as well.
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Indeed, but I’m afraid that that ship has already sailed for me. I’m not a married protestant pastor, and it would be dishonest for me to become one only to re-swim the Tiber…
 
Well it would appear that you are stuck and will continue to loathe the idea of Priestly celibacy because I really don’t think the Church is going to change the discipline anytime soon, if ever.
 
Mike30 said:
Well it would appear that you are stuck and will continue to loathe the idea of Priestly celibacy because I really don’t think the Church is going to change the discipline anytime soon, if ever.
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Yes, yes indeed…
 
You should not loathe celibacy. It is something Jesus and the apostle Paul both taught and suggested for ministers of Christ. In your case, I would suggest perhaps learning more about the discipline of celibacy, the reasons for it, the beauty of it and the need for it in a culture that suggests we will simply die if we don’t have sex. You deserve to know why the Church believes what it believes and has the disciplines it does. I can recommend books for you on this subject.

You could always look into the Eastern Catholic Church which is in communion with Rome and fully catholic. Morseo, you can have a good ministry as a deacon.

No offense and please don’t think I’m being a jerk here but if you claim to be selfless and have the heart of a servant and you think you are called to be a priest, you should be willing to give everything up for Jesus Christ and the sake of his kingdom, that includes marrying and having sex. You cannot say “I will serve you Jesus” and then say “but only if…”
 
CatholicofAgora said:
I love Christ and I love the Church. Ever since I read the gospels I became absolutely fascinated with the idea of Christ appointing the twelve apostles as ambassadors of Christ to go out in his name and do the things that he called them to do persona-Christi, in the person of Christ. As a Protestant, I wanted nothing more than to be a church pastor and draw others to Christ. I wanted to be an ambassador for Christ in the closest sense. Now that I’m Catholic, even though that pastoral role is magnified (and made that much appealing to me) I find that it would come at a much higher cost. Honestly, I think that I would be 100% if it weren’t for the vow of celibacy. I’m very good at counseling/consulting with others, especially in the name of Christ. I’ve had many people, even atheists say that I make them feel closer to God, and I do. I can very easily see me filling the role of a priest. Most people can look into the mirror and easily say; “Yeah, I’m definitely not called to be a priest.” The thing that scares me is that I don’t have that luxury.

The reason why this is such a conflict to me is because I also think that I would make a good husband to someone, someday. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in 19 years, it’s that some people seriously should not get married. However, I’ve been in a serious relationship for two years before. I don’t think that we were meant for each other. I mean, she cheated on me because she really needed to figure herself out. She still cries at the sight of me. She wants to continue seeing other people but felt as though she were throwing away what she had with me, which she was. I know that I’m very good in a relationship. I would never curse at my wife or take my family for granted. In a relationship, I am very selfless, sympathetic, loyal, and sensual. I’m not saying that I’m prince charming or anything, I’m just saying that there are a lot of people who don’t have these qualities, or only have one (i.e. sensual.)

Honestly, the more I think about this the more I loath the priestly celibacy in the Latin Rite. I think that AT LEAST diocesan priests should be allowed to get married. Members have pointed out that those priests in other rites who are married or are married and convert over to the Latin Rite exhibit no difference in performing the Sacraments than those who are celibate. I think it would even help the shortage of priests, as people in my position would feel less conflicted over this. I got to talking to a priest in training via internet about this, and he suggested that if I have all the makings of a good lover and a good priest that I should consider becoming a diocesan priest who is allowed to get/be married. Is this true? Can a diocesan priest get/be married?

What are your thoughts, CAF? Thanks, God bless!
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Just because you would be good at something doesn’t mean you are called to it. Celibacy is a gift that the priest voluntarily gives to God in order to be free to serve God and His Church with an undivided heart. If you’re called to it, then you will be given the graces necessary to live the calling with joy and resolve.
 
It would have to be Orthodoxy, or Anglicanism. The church does not look at candidates for Holy Orders who left the church to marry. It is my understanding if you were qualified, ie single RC male, and left the church to get married and obtain ordination, they would not consider you for the Priesthood were you to return.
 
CatholicofAgora said:
I love Christ and I love the Church. Ever since I read the gospels I became absolutely fascinated with the idea of Christ appointing the twelve apostles as ambassadors of Christ to go out in his name and do the things that he called them to do persona-Christi, in the person of Christ. As a Protestant, I wanted nothing more than to be a church pastor and draw others to Christ. I wanted to be an ambassador for Christ in the closest sense. Now that I’m Catholic, even though that pastoral role is magnified (and made that much appealing to me) I find that it would come at a much higher cost. Honestly, I think that I would be 100% if it weren’t for the vow of celibacy. I’m very good at counseling/consulting with others, especially in the name of Christ. I’ve had many people, even atheists say that I make them feel closer to God, and I do. I can very easily see me filling the role of a priest. Most people can look into the mirror and easily say; “Yeah, I’m definitely not called to be a priest.” The thing that scares me is that I don’t have that luxury.

The reason why this is such a conflict to me is because I also think that I would make a good husband to someone, someday. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in 19 years, it’s that some people seriously should not get married. However, I’ve been in a serious relationship for two years before. I don’t think that we were meant for each other. I mean, she cheated on me because she really needed to figure herself out. She still cries at the sight of me. She wants to continue seeing other people but felt as though she were throwing away what she had with me, which she was. I know that I’m very good in a relationship. I would never curse at my wife or take my family for granted. In a relationship, I am very selfless, sympathetic, loyal, and sensual. I’m not saying that I’m prince charming or anything, I’m just saying that there are a lot of people who don’t have these qualities, or only have one (i.e. sensual.)

Honestly, the more I think about this the more I loath the priestly celibacy in the Latin Rite. I think that AT LEAST diocesan priests should be allowed to get married. Members have pointed out that those priests in other rites who are married or are married and convert over to the Latin Rite exhibit no difference in performing the Sacraments than those who are celibate. I think it would even help the shortage of priests, as people in my position would feel less conflicted over this. I got to talking to a priest in training via internet about this, and he suggested that if I have all the makings of a good lover and a good priest that I should consider becoming a diocesan priest who is allowed to get/be married. Is this true? Can a diocesan priest get/be married?

What are your thoughts, CAF? Thanks, God bless!
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Probably will take some flak, but I agree with you. However, the tradition of the Church concerning married priests is that they must be married before they are ordained. In the Latin Rite of the Church, with a few exceptions for certain converts who were already clergy and already married (such as some Anglican priests and a few Lutheran ministers) there is no such thing as a diocesan priest who is allowed to get/be married. I have no idea where this priest in training is getting his information from. Many of the Eastern Catholic Churches allow married men to be ordained, but we are talking about the Latin Church here. And it is not permitted for a man to switch to an Eastern Church just so he could both get married and ordained.

But I am one who would like to see the discipline changed for various reasons.
 
I consider myself to be obedient to the Church 100%. I mean to say, that I submit totally to the Church’s teachings on all matters. I know the Church has darn good reasons for priestly celibacy. I would almost like to see a “test run” of allowing a few married men to be ordained as priests. Perhaps these men could become priests that are only allowed to be subordinate to celibate priests. Like, not become pastors but help in large parishs or something. Deacons are great, but cannot act as sanctifiers or shepherds. Am I crossing the line by wondering this?
 
PeterJohn said:
I consider myself to be obedient to the Church 100%. I mean to say, that I submit totally to the Church’s teachings on all matters. I know the Church has darn good reasons for priestly celibacy. I would almost like to see a “test run” of allowing a few married men to be ordained as priests. Perhaps these men could become priests that are only allowed to be subordinate to celibate priests. Like, not become pastors but help in large parishs or something. Deacons are great, but cannot act as sanctifiers or shepherds. Am I crossing the line by wondering this?
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No, it doesn’t cross the line. It is similar to the old concept of a priest simplex. Maybe you could put them through a diaconate-style training programs on nights and weekends, ordain them to work part-time for the parishes, celebrating Masses and anointing and communicating the sick, but not preaching or hearing confessions.
 
CatholicofAgora said:
I can very easily see me filling the role of a priest…
… I also think that I would make a good husband to someone, someday.
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"An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided."
1 Cor 7:32-34

Our priests interests must not be divided.

God bless.
 
CatholicofAgora said:
I love Christ and I love the Church. Ever since I read the gospels I became absolutely fascinated with the idea of Christ appointing the twelve apostles as ambassadors of Christ to go out in his name and do the things that he called them to do persona-Christi, in the person of Christ. As a Protestant, I wanted nothing more than to be a church pastor and draw others to Christ. I wanted to be an ambassador for Christ in the closest sense. Now that I’m Catholic, even though that pastoral role is magnified (and made that much appealing to me) I find that it would come at a much higher cost. Honestly, I think that I would be 100% if it weren’t for the vow of celibacy. I’m very good at counseling/consulting with others, especially in the name of Christ. I’ve had many people, even atheists say that I make them feel closer to God, and I do. I can very easily see me filling the role of a priest. Most people can look into the mirror and easily say; “Yeah, I’m definitely not called to be a priest.” The thing that scares me is that I don’t have that luxury.

The reason why this is such a conflict to me is because I also think that I would make a good husband to someone, someday. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in 19 years, it’s that some people seriously should not get married. However, I’ve been in a serious relationship for two years before. I don’t think that we were meant for each other. I mean, she cheated on me because she really needed to figure herself out. She still cries at the sight of me. She wants to continue seeing other people but felt as though she were throwing away what she had with me, which she was. I know that I’m very good in a relationship. I would never curse at my wife or take my family for granted. In a relationship, I am very selfless, sympathetic, loyal, and sensual. I’m not saying that I’m prince charming or anything, I’m just saying that there are a lot of people who don’t have these qualities, or only have one (i.e. sensual.)

Honestly, the more I think about this the more I loath the priestly celibacy in the Latin Rite. I think that AT LEAST diocesan priests should be allowed to get married. Members have pointed out that those priests in other rites who are married or are married and convert over to the Latin Rite exhibit no difference in performing the Sacraments than those who are celibate. I think it would even help the shortage of priests, as people in my position would feel less conflicted over this. I got to talking to a priest in training via internet about this, and he suggested that if I have all the makings of a good lover and a good priest that I should consider becoming a diocesan priest who is allowed to get/be married. Is this true? Can a diocesan priest get/be married?

What are your thoughts, CAF? Thanks, God bless!
Click to expand...
The conflict between the desire for marriage and the desire to serve as a priest is one I have experienced myself. What is imprtant to realize is that we should choose the way of life that best helps us to serve God and save our souls. Holy Orders and Holy Matrimony are both means to that end, not goals in and of themselves.
I recommend that you spend a lot of time before the Blessed Sacrament (a place that has the Blessed Sacrament exposed is ideal). Listen to what Our Lord has to say to you.
If you do not practice meditation daily, it would be wise to start. If you already do it, seek to improve on it.
Pray the Holy Rosary daily, with love and attention. Increase your devotion to the blessed Virgin Mary, who has among other titles Queen of Priests.
If you do these things, it opens the way for Our Lord to speak as he often does, in a still small voice.
If you must seek out advice, speak with a solid priest you actually know in real life.
May God lead you to your true calling, whatever it may be.:gopray2:
 
CatholicofAgora said:
Is this true? Can a diocesan priest get/be married?
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A priest cannot get married. Under very rare circumstances a priest can be married, but like a married deacon he would have to have gotten married before being ordained.
 
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