Mercy and forgiveness are what we should all strive towards. However, if a man goes through the sacrament of matrimony and then decides that it was not a good idea for whatever reason (perhaps valid, perhaps just well argued). Then decides to make another vow to God that is supposed to be forever. This must call in to question their ability to take their promises and vows seriously and to make the best decisions for themselves. Out of mercy, it must be made certain that he is fully capable of making this decision correctly.
I strenuously disagree. If an annulment is granted then the church is stating that the marriage never took place. If the marriage was a sacramental, properly formed, Catholic marriage to begin with, then the annulment is not granted. (aside from a few reasons or circumstances it isn’t
suppose to be granted anyway, but that is another thread…)
Now look at the state of the person, eligible for an annulment (or lack of form), at the time the made their marriage vows. There could be many situations indeed, however just to make my point, I’ve thought of two, one more outlandish than the other.
First, the outlandish, this is kind of a joke, but still makes my point. A group of college friends decide to go to Las Vegas at the end of the semester. Two members of this group are dating. They are serious but they have never really discussed marriage. While driving past one of those ridiculous wedding chapels another member of the group suggests that while we’re here you two love birds should get married. Everyone has a laugh. One of the couple gets it stuck in his/her head. Lo and behold before flying home, the couple is married. Probably by Elvis or some other such nonsense. Upon returning to their real lives problems arise, fights are had. Maybe they make it
work for a few years maybe just a few months. Either way it ends in divorce. Was that how a marriage is suppose to come about? Is that the Catholic, the Protestant, or even a responsible atheist’s (assuming there is such a thing and it isn’t an oxymoron) view of marriage? Think we’d all agree that no it certainly isn’t.
This man should never be allowed to become a priest should he finally be open to God’s call? Why because he made a bad and seriously ill conceived decision? You might say that it shows that he is rash, or shows he has poor judgment. Let me assure you, I was an absolute idiot at that age. Didn’t know the first thing about life, but boy did I think I did! You couldn’t tell me anything, I knew it all. Made plenty of moronic decisions in those years. (but if you’re wondering, no I didn’t get married in Vegas.)
Besides you can’t really make a rash decision to become a priest, not only is that what discernment is for but he’s got 4 years of seminary ahead of him. There are no Catholic ordination chapels anywhere.
I’ll try to wrap this up, didn’t mean to write a book, sorry.
Second, the more plausible one. A man who never really thought much about religion and a woman who is hostile to religion get married. Secular process, no religious involvement at all. Years go by and the man is really feeling like there is something missing in his life. A catholic friend at work has been trying to get him to come to mass because he can see that his friend is falling into depression and lost. Our married man finally agrees. He keeps going. He asks questions. He begins RCIA. All the while his wife is giving him a hard time. Before he can come into communion with the church his marriage has to be recognized. When he finally brings it up to her she tells him she was hoping he’d get over this whole thing, but if he isn’t then she’s gone. Might seem overly simple or unrealistic but if you know anyone hostile to religion I’m sure you can envision the argument if you think about it for a minute. Things go from bad to worse and they end up divorced. Time goes by and our formerly married man has become very active member of his church, and begins feeling that he is called to serve, called to be a priest. This man didn’t know religion before. Didn’t know God had been calling him his whole life even if God had used the phone or emailed him. Should he not be ordained because he had followed the world before finding Christ?
I am sorry I wrote a book, but I’m hoping that you might see this post, or someone else down the line and it might give you food for thought. I am in the situation myself, neither one of these men are me, but still I am an annulled man discerning right now. I had written off the whole idea of the priesthood but God wouldn’t leave me alone. Down right nagging until I finally decided to begin asking questions. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, I’m just being honest. It was only in talking with my priest that I realized that my mistakes were because I was running away from God’s call and those mistakes didn’t mean that I couldn’t fulfill that call. So we will see. Remember this, something I keep telling myself; “anything is possible with God”.
God bless
That just struck me as funny, I guess.