Can fiance and I attend pre marriage classes in different cities?

[Mapper71]

My fiance and I live in different states and I am wondering if once we set a date and have to do the necessary classes beforehand if we can do them in our respective churches or do we need to find a time to go to the same one? How many classes are required? It would seem odd to me that most people would go as a couple and we would go separately, but can it be done?

 

[Seatuck]

My fiance and I live in different states and I am wondering if once we set a date and have to do the necessary classes beforehand if we can do them in our respective churches or do we need to find a time to go to the same one? How many classes are required? It would seem odd to me that most people would go as a couple and we would go separately, but can it be done?

I know people who have done this. You need to ask at the parish you are getting married at.The requirements vary from diocese to diocese. Again, ask the priest when you make the arrangements. Another option is a weekend retreat.

 

[Phemie]

We’ve had a few couples in our parish do the program while they lived in different cities. One couple did it while the bride was in Canada and the groom in England. After they had done the program each on his/her own they met with the pastor the next time they were in town together.

 

[1ke]

My fiance and I live in different states and I am wondering if once we set a date and have to do the necessary classes beforehand if we can do them in our respective churches or do we need to find a time to go to the same one? How many classes are required? It would seem odd to me that most people would go as a couple and we would go separately, but can it be done?

It’s up to your priest with whom you are preparing.

My DH and I lived in different states, we attended the required retreat together in DH’s diocese although we married in my diocese. My diocese accepted the certificate of attendance from his diocese. We then did a all-day-Saturday prep day with the deacon who married us in my diocese (usually it’s like 5 evenings with the deacon… but he scheduled us for a marathon on a Saturday due to our travel issues).

If I were you I would try to attend together b/c the retreats/programs are centered around the couple discussing things and doing exercises/activities together. I don’t think you’d get much out of it attending individually.

 

[puzzleannie]

yes it can be done with permission of the pastor who will be marrying you or overseeing your preparation, and communication with the other parish. if at all possible obviously the Engaged Encounter weekend should be together, and at least one meeting where you discuss the results of the Focus test. It hardly makes sense for one of you to visit sponsor couple alone. Guess it depends on what “marriage preparation” entails in your diocese. You definitely want to learn NFP together.

 

[1ke]

You definitely want to learn NFP together.

I don’t think it’s necessary. I learned Creighton and DH did not attend classes.

 

[mschrank]

Ugh, don’t expect anything other than heresy and something so watered down that you’ll wonder why you had to pay $180 to go. My wife and I’s class was a waste of a fine spring Saturday afternoon, taught by some heretical deacon who “didn’t agree with much of Church teaching” (his words, not mine).

Again, I think we need another inquisition to root this filth out. We probably couldn’t torture people (what about waterboarding lol?) but we could at least fire/defrock them.

 

[lizaanne]

yes it can be done with permission of the pastor who will be marrying you or overseeing your preparation, and communication with the other parish. if at all possible obviously the Engaged Encounter weekend should be together, and at least one meeting where you discuss the results of the Focus test. It hardly makes sense for one of you to visit sponsor couple alone. Guess it depends on what “marriage preparation” entails in your diocese. You definitely want to learn NFP together.

This is exactly how we handled our situation. My husband was in England at the time and I am in Michigan. We both did marriage prep in our own location, but went to EE-Weekend together when he came here for a visit. We did our FOCUS test discussion over Skype with the parish’s chosen social worker, and then had a number of meetings with our priest together after he arrived here in the States about a month prior to the wedding. I had used NFP in the past so they did not require us to do that training together, DH said he was totally onboard with it, and they allowed me to “train” him, so to speak.

It can be done - but it is up to your respective priests and how they wish to do things.

~Liza

 

[1ke]

Ugh, don’t expect anything other than heresy and something so watered down that you’ll wonder why you had to pay $180 to go. My wife and I’s class was a waste of a fine spring Saturday afternoon, taught by some heretical deacon who “didn’t agree with much of Church teaching” (his words, not mine).

That is an overly broad statement, and may have applied to you but certainly did not apply to my experience. Our class was perfectly orthodox and enjoyable. And it didn’t cost $180, either.

 

[puzzleannie]

I don’t think it’s necessary. I learned Creighton and DH did not attend classes.

yes obviously the woman can learn the nuts and bolts of how to do it alone, but if the man is not part of the process, including the decision to use it, but knowing the basis for it, how to apply it in real life, and the implications, there may be almost certainly problems down the road.