Can first cousins marry?

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Sweetcakes:
They can, but should they?
I think I am still in love with my second cousin. She is soooooo beutiful!!! Model type.
 
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Jenace:
It has been an interesting read over the last few days concerning this topic. Some responses have been amusing whilst others have been more enlightening. I would like to thank this person for their response in appreciating that yes this a real question and one that reflects a real situation of genuine love between two cousins who have only recently met and are approaching 40. You may even call it accidental love and one that that has developed with a considerable level of anxiety attached to it as both tried to come to terms with the fact considering the relationship tie and what the legal and religous guidelines were concerning such a relationship, let alone the social implication! At the end of the day it is not incest, it is not illegal and is also something that will be accepted by the catholic church if marriage should ever be considered whether it is inside or outside of the church as well. I personally was interested to know and am comfortable with where it sits from both these angles.

I can also appreciate some of the other comments and the black humour attached to others. Thanks for the laugh! There will always be more than one view of any topic however at the end of the day these two people are very much in love and do not doubt for one moment that they have met their life match.

Thanks again to this particular person for their much valued comments.
I do love my cousin. Well, I mean I ished I could marry her. BUT, well, she is dating someone.:love:
 
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Jenace:
Can anyone help out here?
Firstly is it allowed?
Secondly are there allowances if the answer is no such as age of people (40) and that they wouldnt be having children??

Thanks
Curious
Only in Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana and Tennessee.
Question of the day:
If a couple is married in Arkansas, move to New Jersey and there get divorced, are they still cousins???
 
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Tom:
Only in Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana and Tennessee.
If you’re attempting humor, your should make it obvious so people don’t take your misinformation for fact.
 
Should they marry is quite another question. I think the Church requires a dispensation because it recognizes that in general, for most people, marrying a first cousin is not in your best interest. However, in some few individual cases it is, so there is a provision for it.
 
I’m sorry… blah blah blah blah… I’m not into any of my family members BUT… in my mind… and I dont care who disagrees… really, who has the right, law or not, to tell someone who they can and cant love, who they can and can’t marry??? really?? I think it is rediculous to have to follow such rediculous rules like that? Love should not have to be controlled… you cant control your heart in that manner. whether you are of religion or not, whether you are straight or gay… who says whats right and wrong??? things happen for a reason… if everything was suppose to happen in such a strict way then they natuarally would. If you love your cousin then marry… whether it is “legally” documented or not… when it comes down to it… marriage is in the heart, not on paper…

I understand in some manners that some things arent advisable due to genetic genes that can lead to deformities (regarding proceeding with reproduction [with close-gene-makeup]), but in the end… we all got here some how and somewhere… and in one way or another everyone is connected in some way on this great big family tree of reproduction…

Its a choice only you can make for yourself…

No one can tell you who to love and not to love…
 
I suppose various cultures and countries have their own perspectives on marriage between cousins. In some, marriage between first cousins is considered quite desirable – ‘ego’ marries father’s brother’s child (patrilateral parallel cousin marriage). For other cultures it is a ‘no-no’. The structural conditions in England that facilitated the development of the Jewish cousinhood have been well documented. Illustrious figures have married their cousins (not necessarily, ‘first’). Did not Darwin marry a cousin? Did not Queen Victoria marry one? But I suppose there are reasons why some frown on any cousin marriage while others reserve their horror for ‘first-cousin’ relationships.

Is there anything intrinsically wrong with patrilateral parallel cousin marriage? This results in lineage endogamy and was often practised to keep property within the lineage. It occurred among the generations of the Hebrew patriarchs. When confronted with a problematic situation Moses advocated a new regulation – a woman is to marry her father’s brother’s son, so that her husband and children will belong to the same lineage as her father. Wealth and property then stay within the lineage. It makes for a cohesive kin group, ready against outsiders. It is a practice not unknown and by no means uncommon today in the Middle East in Arab society.

Where lineage endogamy is not important but on the contrary lineage exogamy is paramount – here cross-cousin marriage may figure. A man may marry his father’s sister’s daughter, (patrilateral cross-cousin marriage) but she will belong to a different lineage.

Patrilateral parallel cousin marriage (ego marries father’s brother’s child), patrilateral cross-cousin marriage (ego marries father’s sister’s child), matrilateral parallel cousin marriage (ego marries mother’s sister’s child) and matrilateral cross-cousin marriage (ego marries mother’s brother’s child) are all instances of what we would term 1st cousin marriages. Do they contribute in any way whatsoever to a definition of incest? I suppose it depends on where you live.

In the UK for example we would never consider 1st cousin marriage as ‘incest’ (although it may not be socially desirable) and would reserve that term for sexual relations between siblings, or between parent and child.

DEM
 
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canadianwoman78:
I’m sorry… blah blah blah blah… I’m not into any of my family members BUT… in my mind… and I dont care who disagrees… really, who has the right, law or not, to tell someone who they can and cant love, who they can and can’t marry??? really?? I think it is rediculous to have to follow such rediculous rules like that? Love should not have to be controlled… you cant control your heart in that manner.

No one can tell you who to love and not to love…
Really… so than is ok for a brother and sister to marry. What about grown men and underaged girls (or boys)?

I don’t mean to sound condesending, but from the posts you’ve made here so far you sound like a young person -maybe a teenager?

What your saying may sound nice and charitable but it’s really not. There are rules for reasons, otherwise society falls apart and lives fall apart. As you grow in experience you’ll learn love is a choice. Because life isn’t a cake walk, and all relationship will hit bumps sometimes pretty big ones. It’s isn’t warm and fuzzy all the time. Love takes will and sacrifice.

As adults we have to make decisions that aren’t selfish, that aren’t just because we want to. We have to make decisions based on what is right and best for others as well as our selves.
 
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canadianwoman78:
I’m sorry… blah blah blah blah… I’m not into any of my family members BUT… in my mind… and I dont care who disagrees… really, who has the right, law or not, to tell someone who they can and cant love, who they can and can’t marry??? really?? I think it is rediculous to have to follow such rediculous rules like that? Love should not have to be controlled… you cant control your heart in that manner. whether you are of religion or not, whether you are straight or gay… who says whats right and wrong??? things happen for a reason… if everything was suppose to happen in such a strict way then they natuarally would. If you love your cousin then marry… whether it is “legally” documented or not… when it comes down to it… marriage is in the heart, not on paper…


Its a choice only you can make for yourself…

No one can tell you who to love and not to love…
Yes, you may have feelings of love for anyone you wish, but we have laws for good reason that tell you whether or not you can expect to have your love acknowledged and supported by society. What protects a young girl from being taken as a wife by an adult man? Certainly even very young girls can be tricked and seduced into thinking marriage to an older man is a good thing. Nothing protects them from such a situation other than the law.

Marriage laws are there to uphold traditions that support the family, which in turn make for a stable and thriving society (to phrase it in purely secular, economic terms).

I cannot tell you whom to love, it is true. Your feelings are your own. But certainly as a society we can enact laws that say whether or not we will put our stamp of approval on the relationship. Would you make the same argument for all such taboo situations? “Live and let live” leads to chaos and oppression of the weakest members of society. Surely this is not what you intend, I hope.
 
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