Can gay boy/girlfriends expresss physical affection?

[TOB_questions]

My question is that, are gay boy/girlfriends allowed, according to the Church, to physically express affection for each other through hugs and and kisses? I’m not talking about hugs and kisses that could lead to other non TOB things, either.

I’m talking more about the types of physical expression that, comparatively, an upstanding Catholic straight unmarried couple would do in order to physically express affection but not lead to anything sinful. Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[Holly3278]

I would think that hugs are okay because even friends hug each other. I mean, it’d be okay so long as there is no sexual groping or anything else going on and as long as the hug is not so prolonged as to make it obvious that they are a gay couple. Now if it is an intensely emotional scene and there is prolonged hugging, that is different. As far as kissing goes, I consider that to be a mortal sin when it occurs between two people of the same sex unless it is allowed in that person’s culture. For example, in some cultures, a kiss on the cheek is acceptable between persons of the same sex as a greeting.

 

[BobObob]

My question is that, are gay boy/girlfriends allowed, according to the Church, to physically express affection for each other through hugs and and kisses? I’m not talking about hugs and kisses that could lead to other non TOB things, either.

I’m talking more about the types of physical expression that, comparatively, an upstanding Catholic straight unmarried couple would do in order to physically express affection but not lead to anything sinful. Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut!

“Many people believe that being physically affectionate with men who struggle with same-sex attraction will exacerbate their symptoms. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Dr. Steven Donaldson and Dr. Del Thornton

Many men with SSA have a deep, unmet, need for (non-sexual) physical affection with other men. Such tactile deprivation is very prevalent among men with SSA. Physical affection, which is not erotic or romantic, should not be withheld from someone who has SSA. Sometimes (this is an oversimplification) SSA is not much more than a symptom of an unmet need for healthy bonding with the same sex.

To specifically answer your question, hugs expressing deep, brotherly love with the same sex, are not only permissible, but are also essential for him to live a chaste life. I know several Catholic men who are striving for chastity. For them, the closer fraternal relationship they have with other men, especially with heterosexual men who they view as an ideal image of masculinity, the more easily they are able to live a chaste life.

In culture where kisses are usually interpreted as erotic or romantic gestures (such as the US), I would say kissing generally should be avoided. In other cultures where it can be a gesture of fraternal love (such as Argentina), it would be OK.

 

[shondrea]

To make this broader, is it ok for people with SSA to be physically affectionate with the same sex?

I think so. My best friend and I hug, kiss each other’s cheeks, cuddle, etc. With boys, of course ,this would be rarer.

Now, in using the term boy/girl friend, it’s a little different. On the one hand, I DO think eople with SSA, like posted above, need physical affection from the same sex, like we all do. However, if two were romantically involved, it makes matters sticky. But then, especially with guys. very few straight men would be willing to be physically affectionate.

I have heard a couple anecdotes on here from people who know Catholics with SSA, who still show affection with their former partners by hugging, etc. I think it could theoretically be ok, sort of…I dunno?

 

[Philology]

I think that it depends on the level of intimacy which might be displayed in the hug. I have had to deal with SSA in the most Christian way I know possible, which would be to not act on impulses. But a decent hug would not be a sin.