How malicious were the facts that were revealed? Were they of the kind to cause your friend to have a worse opinion of the object of gossip? Additionally, were there unecessary revelations (about the person) that, without the gossip, would have been kept private? Did you exaggerate for the purpose of caricaturizing or dehumanizing the object of gossip? For the purpose of mockery? (Also degrading) Were they outright untruths?
You have to examine whether any of your words fell into the category of detraction, calumny, etc – to result in loss of reputation or loss of respect by others.
Sometimes people just want to get validation as to whether their impressions are overreactions, and are asking for guidance from a friend. That’s different. If she received it in that spirit (not resulting in a negative change of opinion about someone), it might have been unwise, and flirting with injurious gossip, but not enough to do serious harm.
What serious harm have I caused, or potentially caused, in the eyes of others who will encounter this person? That should be the question you ask yourself. Some people on CAF know that I was an object myself by a jealous co-worker-- in of all places, a parish, by a person in a superior position to me. Reputations can be impossible to recover – even (as in my case) wrongly, untruthfully shaped reputations based on nothing but malice and motivated by power.
If it’s just that the object of gossip was described as “weird” – with the result that that behavior made you feel uncomfortable and you didn’t know how to respond – it might not even be a venial sin, unless you consented to magnifying the description and, as I said, dehumanizing her or relishing the prospect of having your friend regard you as superior to the object of gossip. (‘Tee-hee, aren’t we better than her?’ type of thing)
So I got to receive Communion and stop worrying. Thank you for all your help!