Can I apply ashes to my wife's forehead?

[consumedconvert]

My wife will not be able to make it to Ash Wednesday service, but the symbolism of the mark on the forehead means a lot to us. Would there be anything wrong with burning our blessed palm, mixing it with olive oil, and using that to give her the mark of the Cross on her forehead? I understand the materials would not be blessed.

 

[Joannm]

The ashes themselves would not be blessed but I don’t see why you coudn’t do it. Why would you mix the ashes with olive oil? We don’t do that in the parish.

 

[consumedconvert]

The ashes themselves would not be blessed but I don’t see why you coudn’t do it. Why would you mix the ashes with olive oil? We don’t do that in the parish.

I believe in my diocese they mix them with chrism (I think). It sticks better. I figured Olive Oil would do.

 

[benedictgal]

I believe in my diocese they mix them with chrism (I think). It sticks better. I figured Olive Oil would do.

I am afraid that Chrism wasn’t meant for this. Chrism is meant to be used for Sacraments, not sacramentals. Furthermore, the Chrism Oil is consecrated by the Bishop during the Chrism Mass. Any unused Chrism oil should be properly disposed of since it is blessed. Perhaps you might mean the “essence of chrism”, which is something that the Holy Rood Guild sells.

 

[mullenpm]

You didn’t say why your wife could not make it to church to receive the ashes on Ash Wednesday. Is she house bound? If so, I would talk to my Priest and ask his opinion on your applying the ashes to your wife’s forehead.

For some reason, I just don’t like that idea. It almost makes the mark of the ashes sound like a superstition. I may be completely off base on this and would welcome other opinions.

 

[VivienneJ]

I believe in my diocese they mix them with chrism (I think). It sticks better. I figured Olive Oil would do.

I would have thought the ashes stick well enough by themselves (but I do have a slightly oily skin, maybe that helps mine )

You didn’t say why your wife could not make it to church to receive the ashes on Ash Wednesday. Is she house bound? If so, I would talk to my Priest and ask his opinion on your applying the ashes to your wife’s forehead.

For some reason, I just don’t like that idea. It almost makes the mark of the ashes sound like a superstition. I may be completely off base on this and would welcome other opinions.

Mmm, Mullempm, something about this bothers me too, but I’d like to hear something official about it.

I once knew a priest who offered the ashes to one of his congregations on the Sunday following Ash Wednesday as he was unable to get to them on Ash Wednesdays; but that’s not quite the same thing.

 

[redrosetea]

I think you should ask your priest, everyone here is just guessing

 

[consumedconvert]

I am afraid that Chrism wasn’t meant for this. Chrism is meant to be used for Sacraments, not sacramentals. Furthermore, the Chrism Oil is consecrated by the Bishop during the Chrism Mass. Any unused Chrism oil should be properly disposed of since it is blessed. Perhaps you might mean the “essence of chrism”, which is something that the Holy Rood Guild sells.

There’s a high probability I’m just confused. In any case, they mix the ashes with an oily substance.

 

[TAS2000]

In our parish we are preparing for the same ministers that take communion to the home bound to take them ashes as well. They will be blest ashes. We will have a service on Fat Tuesday to urn the palms and say farewell, or bury, the Alleluia for Lent.

I’d suggest you ask your priest about something similar. There really is no point in rubbing unblessed ashes on your wife unless she likes to be dirty.

 

[Joannm]

In our parish we are preparing for the same ministers that take communion to the home bound to take them ashes as well. They will be blest ashes. We will have a service on Fat Tuesday to urn the palms and say farewell, or bury, the Alleluia for Lent.

I’d suggest you ask your priest about something similar. There really is no point in rubbing unblessed ashes on your wife unless she likes to be dirty.

I make up little packet of blessed ashes (I use wax paper) for people to take to the homebound. I put a sticker on it with the words to say when putting them on. The EMHC’s really appreciate this since they often come with a tissue that just absorbs the ashes. An envelope is too big and they tend to take too much so they have to dispose of the remaining ashes. I just take a square of wax paper, put a teaspoon of ashes in the center, fold up the wax paper and put the sticker on it. I put them on the table with the ashes at the early mass so they are blessed early on. Anyone can apply ashes since they are a sacramental. Many times our parish secretary ends up doing it because people come in at times when there are no services and the priests are out visiting the nursing homes in the area. I usualy end up with a stained thumb at the end of Ash Wednesday since I assist at all the masses and services. At least I don’t have to assist at the schools too. In fact at our HS the Senior EMHCs do it. They have four services and the priests can get to them and the elementary school and all the services at the church. They have their services in the gym.

 

[FrDavid96]

My wife will not be able to make it to Ash Wednesday service, but the symbolism of the mark on the forehead means a lot to us. Would there be anything wrong with burning our blessed palm, mixing it with olive oil, and using that to give her the mark of the Cross on her forehead? I understand the materials would not be blessed.

As others have said, the distribution of ashes is a sacramental, not a sacrament, so the Church does not strictly “regulate” whether or not the faithful might do this at home, nor exactly how that would be done. If it’s done as part of the Church’s liturgy, though, it’s done according to the approved rite. The ashes themselves are blessed, and they’re mixed with Holy Water (not any kind of oil or other substance), but the placing of the ashes on the forehead is not a blessing.

Very strictly speaking, there’s nothing wrong with a person burning palms or taking some blessed ashes home (with the priest’s permission of course) and applying them to someone else’s forehead if that person isn’t able to be in Church that day. Yet at the same time, something just doesn’t “feel right” about the whole thing. There’s a certain value to this ceremony being celebrated as part of the Church’s actual liturgical life as opposed to a personal event.

I would recommend asking the priest for permission to take home some blessed ashes rather than burning your own palms, as this will at least mean that you’re using blessed ashes. It will also give the local pastor the opportunity to make the decision on whether or not he considers it appropriate–and most importantly, the opportunity to invite him to make a sick call himself and give not only ashes but Holy Communion (and Confession if necessary, another important opportunity).

 

[Ghoti]

A number of years ago - back in the 80s, I believe - I was sick at home and didn’t go to Mass with my folks.

Dad came home with a little packet of ashes – I remember he rubbed them on my forehead in the sign of the Cross and said, “Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return.”

Unless there’s a canon or such specifically forbidding this, I don’t think there’s anything “hinky” or superstitious about giving ashes in the case mentioned above: does not the father – head of the household – by his “office” (for want of a better word) have the authority to bless those under him in the household with a “paternal blessing”? Doesn’t this go all the way back through the OT with fathers giving blessings to their sons? I think that if one sees this as: 1) a pious practice; 2) a way to openly / visually display one’s faith; 3) not some kind of religious juju or quasi-Sacrament – what is the problem? To me, it’s not a lot different from wearing a holy medal or Crucifix that you haven’t had blessed yet. Like using a nice Rosary that I bought, and started using before I got blessed.

BTW – since matter has a lot to do with the “blessedness” of sacramentals – I assume that when I burn my blessed palms this Ash Wednesday, they don’t become “blessed palm-ashes” or “blessed-palm ashes”, but just plain ol’ ashes: the burning of the palms destroys their “matter”, making them something new that they were not previously, so they are no longer blessed and may be disposed of ordinarily?

 

[FrDavid96]

BTW – since matter has a lot to do with the “blessedness” of sacramentals – I assume that when I burn my blessed palms this Ash Wednesday, they don’t become “blessed palm-ashes” or “blessed-palm ashes”, but just plain ol’ ashes: the burning of the palms destroys their “matter”, making them something new that they were not previously, so they are no longer blessed and may be disposed of ordinarily?

Right. Once the palms are burned, or otherwise destroyed they cease to be blessed.

 

[Ghoti]

Right. Once the palms are burned, or otherwise destroyed they cease to be blessed.

Thank you, Father!

 

[Halos1n2Horns]

You could call the office on tues . And ask if there’s a minster that would be willing to come and give your wife her ashes. ( eucharistic minster). May Jesus bless your wife and you during the season of lent.

Halos