Can I Be A Godmother?

[AtHeartCatholic]

My cousin just asked me to be a godmother to her daughter. I feel truly honored and would love to be there for her and her daughter and really want to do it. Her church requires that I get a letter from my current priest. Here is the problem. I was raised Catholic and have received all of the sacraments possible to this point (Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation). I am not married. As a young professional recently out of undergraduate and graduate school, I am not currently a member of a church. My boyfriend and I have attended multiple churches (Catholic and Protestant as he is Protestant) over the past few months to try and find a community we want to join. I feel according to Canon law that I meet the requirements, but I am unclear on the good standing requirement. Since I have not been consistently going to one Catholic church does that mean I am not in good standing? If I went to one of the local Catholic churches where I am currently living, do you think a priest would write me a letter even though I am not a member of that particular church?

(My cousin’s brother is going to be the godfather. He is a college student and not currently married either which is why I have been asked.)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

God bless.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Part of the role of a godparent is to be a model of what it means to be a Catholic. Do you think you would be a good role model for this child?

I don’t know when the baptism is scheduled. If you have some time, this may be a good opportunity to think about your faith and how important it is to you. If it is important and you want to help pass it on to the baby, then you might start going to Mass every Sunday and get involved in a parish so you can practice your faith. You can renew your own commitment and be a good godmother.

If it’s not that important to you, then be honest with your cousin and say that you’re not a good candidate to be a godmother.

 

[Thomas63116]

Well here are a few possibilities. . .

You could pick one of the parishes that you have been attending and register there, then ask to meet with the priest and ask him to write the letter. Explain that you had been attending the parish (along with a few others) but the request to be a Godmother spurred you to register.

You could go back to the last parish where you were active (childhood parish, Newman Center at college) and ask one of the priests there to write you a letter. If its only been a few months since you graduated this may be a very good possibility.

You could talk to the priest at your cousin’s parish and explain your situation. Ultimately, the purpose of the letter is for the priest administering the sacrament to evaluate the sincerity of your faith and commitment to the role you are taking on as Godmother. He may be able to waive the requirement or to advise you further.

 

[Love_Divine]

Based on what you wrote, particularly the part about attending different churches, including Protestant churches, looking for a community to join, I would say no, you don’t qualify.

Even if your boyfriend/fiance/husband is Protestant, you’re still expected to fulfill your Sunday obligation to attend a Catholic Church every Sunday, as well as receive Communion at least once a year while properly disposed (ie: not in a state of mortal sin, which includes missing Catholic Sunday Mass without good reason, heresy, etc.)

Do you actually believe you’ll be able and willing to fulfill your duties should the need arise? There’s more to being a godparent than just being present on the day of the baptism. These aren’t decisions to be made lightly, and I’d be concerned if I asked someone to be a godparent and they agreed without thinking it over.

 

[1ke]

Since I have not been consistently going to one Catholic church does that mean I am not in good standing? If I went to one of the local Catholic churches where I am currently living, do you think a priest would write me a letter even though I am not a member of that particular church?

If you are not attending Mass every week, you are not fulfilling your obligation. Whether or not you are registered at a particular parish is not relevant, although you should certainly register as soon as possible. If you are transient, you may find it difficult to find a priest to vouch for you.

You mention a boyfriend and attending his church. If you do so, you must *also *attend Mass. Going to his protestant church does **not **fulfill your obligation.

And lastly, you don’t mention whether or not you are cohabiting with the boyfriend. If you are, then that is a problem that would preclude you from being a godparent.

 

[baltobetsy]

If I recall correctly, there is only one actual godparent required. Another person who does not meet the requirements may stand as a Christian witness to the baptism. Ask the parish about that possibility for you if the other person meets the requirements for being a godparent.

 

[Barbkw]

Since I have not been consistently going to one Catholic church does that mean I am not in good standing?

AtHeartCatholic,

When you attend services at a Protestant church, you are not fulfilling your obligation as a Catholic to attend Mass on Sunday (or the Saturday Vigil Mass) - a mortal sin.

You could continue to attend services at a Protestant church on Sunday with your boyfriend, but you must first attend Mass on Saturday to fulfill your weekly obligation.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

P.S. Do you have difficulty understanding and experiencing Jesus in the Eucharist?

 

[Chatter163]

A Catholic who is not a member of a parish and does not attend Sunday Mass regularly does not qualify as a Catholic in good standing. That is why the requirement for a letter from the pastor exists. “Feelings” do not enter into the situation.

 

[AtHeartCatholic]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the clarification regarding this issue. I will tell my cousin that I am honored and would be happy to be a witness, but that I cannot serve as godmother.

God bless!

 

[Cristiano]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the clarification regarding this issue. I** will tell my cousin that I am honored and would be happy to be a witness, but that I cannot serve as godmother.**

God bless!

It sounds like you are walking the first step toward a righteous life. You decided to do what is right, because of the right intention and under the proper circumstances. Keep walking that way!

 

[agapewolf]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the clarification regarding this issue. I will tell my cousin that I am honored and would be happy to be a witness, but that I cannot serve as godmother.

God bless!

AtHeartCatholic

Instead of bowing out, why not view this as a time to be called to greater things? Attend mass every single week. Start new spiritual devotions. Grow in learning about your own Catholic identity.

 

[1ke]

If I recall correctly, there is only one actual godparent required. Another person who does not meet the requirements may stand as a Christian witness to the baptism. Ask the parish about that possibility for you if the other person meets the requirements for being a godparent.

The provision in Canon Law for a Christian witness applies only to non-Catholics from ecclesial communities. It does not apply to a Catholic who is prohibited from being a godparent because they fail to meet sponsor criteria.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

 

[Spirithound]

I am unclear on the good standing requirement. Since I have not been consistently going to one Catholic church does that mean I am not in good standing?

God bless you!
Not attending only one parish does not put you outside of good standing. If you consider yourself a practicing Catholic (with all that entails), or, I would say, if you intend to become a practicing Catholic…like…now, then you are fit to be a Godmother.

 

[catharina]

Based on what you wrote, particularly the part about attending different churches, including Protestant churches, looking for a community to join, I would say no, you don’t qualify.

Even if your boyfriend/fiance/husband is Protestant, you’re still expected to fulfill your Sunday obligation to attend a Catholic Church every Sunday, as well as receive Communion at least once a year while properly disposed (ie: not in a state of mortal sin, which includes missing Catholic Sunday Mass without good reason, heresy, etc.)

Do you actually believe you’ll be able and willing to fulfill your duties should the need arise? There’s more to being a godparent than just being present on the day of the baptism. These aren’t decisions to be made lightly, and I’d be concerned if I asked someone to be a godparent and they agreed without thinking it over.

Yes.

 

[catharina]

If you are not attending Mass every week, you are not fulfilling your obligation. Whether or not you are registered at a particular parish is not relevant, although you should certainly register as soon as possible. If you are transient, you may find it difficult to find a priest to vouch for you.

You mention a boyfriend and attending his church. If you do so, you must *also *attend Mass. Going to his protestant church does **not **fulfill your obligation.

And lastly, you don’t mention whether or not you are cohabiting with the boyfriend. If you are, then that is a problem that would preclude you from being a godparent.

YES, indeed.

 

[catharina]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the clarification regarding this issue. I will tell my cousin that I am honored and would be happy to be a witness, but that I cannot serve as godmother.

God bless!

Good decision that you will not be godmother.
Yet you would be better off as agurst - not as a witness.
The witness role applies to non-Catholics.

Your user name tells the story.

“At heart Catholic” is not the same as “practicing Catholic.”
What your boyfriend decides on his choice of worship should not matter
to you and to your life of faith. Faith is a gift. Yours is Catholic faith.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

Technically speaking, someone who is canonically considered a Catholic cannot act as a Christian Witness for baptism…

 

[catharina]

Technically speaking, someone who is canonically considered a Catholic cannot act as a Christian Witness for baptism…

Yup.

Oops. Just noticed typo in my previous post.
Should read that she could be present as A GUEST.

 

[Seatuck]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the clarification regarding this issue. I will tell my cousin that I am honored and would be happy to be a witness, but that I cannot serve as godmother.

God bless!

I think it’s wonderful that you have put so much thought into this decision. As members of the Body of Christ we want to have care and concern for the souls of each beautiful child of God.

Please show yourself that same care and concern that you have shown to your cousin’s child. Lent is a wonderful time to begin again your life as a faithful Catholic.