Can I be a groomsman for a morman wedding?

  • Thread starter Thread starter germanicus24
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

germanicus24

Guest
Hi,

I friend of mine is having a Mormon wedding and has asked me to be one of the groomsmen. I’m not entirely sure what this entails as I’m under the impression I can’t enter their temple anyway and they are already civilly married. The bride converted from Catholicism when she was a kid along with most of her family. As a catholic, can I be a groomsmen for whatever kind of ceremony they are planning? I feel I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the help.
 
Given that the bride is Catholic (does not matter that she “converted” as far as the Church is concerned she is still a Catholic) and has entered into an invalid civil marriage that will not be made valid by whatever LDS ceremony is performed, no. You should refrain from participating in this ceremony.

In general when the marriage would be a valid marriage, we can attend and/or participate as a bridal attendant, although depending upon the circumstances one may need to ask one’s pastor for guidance.
 
germanicus24 said:
Hi,

I friend of mine is having a Mormon wedding and has asked me to be one of the groomsmen. I’m not entirely sure what this entails as I’m under the impression I can’t enter their temple anyway and they are already civilly married. The bride converted from Catholicism when she was a kid along with most of her family. As a catholic, can I be a groomsmen for whatever kind of ceremony they are planning? I feel I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the help.
Click to expand...
I would ask your friend what he expects from you before deciding. You won’t be able to go inside the temple, nor are there bridesmaids or groomsmen required for a Mormon temple sealing anyways. In addition to the bride and groom, all that is required are the “sealer” (who performs the marriage) and two male witnesses. The temple provides the sealer and can also provide the witnesses if necessary. I’m a bit confused why your friend would even need groomsmen if he is already civilly married. :confused: Are they having a reception?

In my experience with many Mormon weddings, the function of bridesmaids and groomsmen can vary but tend to be rather limited. They need to dress up and be at the temple (waiting outside if the person is “unworthy” to enter the temple for the actual ceremony) for pictures afterwards. Groomsmen are also expected to be at the reception. Any special functions other than to be at the reception in a tux and stand by the groom as directed depends entirely on what the groom wants. Groomsmen often also help put on any bachelor party there may be.

Honestly, and this is purely my opinion, bridesmaids and groomsmen are completely unnecessary for Mormon weddings and primarily for show. Since so many people are not allowed at Mormon weddings (including younger siblings who are not “endowed”), the reception is often the main event. Many even have ring ceremonies, which often take on the appearance of a traditional Christian wedding, especially when many family members of the bride and/or groom are not Mormon and are not allowed inside the temple to see the actual ceremony. Mormon temple sealings are rather subdued affairs and nothing like Christian wedding ceremonies with the dress, walking down the aisle, etc. A lot of women want all that so make up for it the best they can at the reception.
 
I say go ahead.

You wont be participating in the sealing anyway.
 
iepuras said:
In my experience with many Mormon weddings, the function of bridesmaids and groomsmen can vary but tend to be rather limited. They need to dress up and be at the temple

Honestly, and this is purely my opinion, bridesmaids and groomsmen are completely unnecessary for Mormon weddings and primarily for show. Since so many people are not allowed at Mormon weddings (including younger siblings who are not “endowed”), the reception is often the main event. Many even have ring ceremonies, which often take on the appearance of a traditional Christian wedding, especially when many family members of the bride and/or groom are not Mormon and are not allowed inside the temple to see the actual ceremony. Mormon temple sealings are rather subdued affairs and nothing like Christian wedding ceremonies with the dress, walking down the aisle, etc. A lot of women want all that so make up for it the best they can at the reception.
Click to expand...
I agree, esp with the part I bolded.

LDS sealings are nothing like weddings. Not even close.
 
I’d say yes. Be there for your friend. I imagine it’d be taking place at the local ward/stake and not the temple, anyway.
 
1ke said:
Given that the bride is Catholic (does not matter that she “converted” as far as the Church is concerned she is still a Catholic) and has entered into an invalid civil marriage that will not be made valid by whatever LDS ceremony is performed, no. You should refrain from participating in this ceremony.

In general when the marriage would be a valid marriage, we can attend and/or participate as a bridal attendant, although depending upon the circumstances one may need to ask one’s pastor for guidance.
Click to expand...
Interesting.
 
If they are already civilly married, then most likely they will be having a sealing in a temple. As a non-LDS/someone without a temple recommend, you won’t be able to see the sealing. I think that this is a standard experience for many LDS, since they know that sadly not everyone can see them get married for time and all eternity. As a groomsman, there isn’t a role for you during the sealing anyway, so you won’t be part of the ordinance (whether or not you’re LDS).

I was a groomsman for a friend’s wedding when I was LDS. I did get to see the sealing since I was endowed and had a temple recommend. His brother and sisters were not endowed at the time, so they ended up doing baptisms for the dead in another part of the temple while their brother and sister in law were getting married. As a groomsman, yes, I dressed up with the others, we took pictures with the rest of the party, had a bachelor party, pranked their post-reception car, and that’s about it. More people go to the reception than the actual sealing, so you’ll most likely do something there (though nothing religious). During the sealing, you’ll wait outside the temple with the rest of the people that aren’t able to go inside. The guests inside will come out, then the couple will come out (they have to change out of ceremonial clothing), and you’ll probably take pics outside the temple with the wedding party, family, etc.
 
LivingWaters7 said:
If they are already civilly married, then most likely they will be having a sealing in a temple. As a non-LDS/someone without a temple recommend, you won’t be able to see the sealing. I think that this is a standard experience for many LDS, since they know that sadly not everyone can see them get married for time and all eternity. As a groomsman, there isn’t a role for you during the sealing anyway, so you won’t be part of the ordinance (whether or not you’re LDS).

I was a groomsman for a friend’s wedding when I was LDS. I did get to see the sealing since I was endowed and had a temple recommend. His brother and sisters were not endowed at the time, so they ended up doing baptisms for the dead in another part of the temple while their brother and sister in law were getting married. As a groomsman, yes, I dressed up with the others, we took pictures with the rest of the party, had a bachelor party, pranked their post-reception car, and that’s about it. More people go to the reception than the actual sealing, so you’ll most likely do something there (though nothing religious). During the sealing, you’ll wait outside the temple with the rest of the people that aren’t able to go inside. The guests inside will come out, then the couple will come out (they have to change out of ceremonial clothing), and you’ll probably take pics outside the temple with the wedding party, family, etc.
Click to expand...
Just nit picking but I think it’s a misnomer to refer to call them a wedding party, for the most part they don’t have anything to due with the wedding.
 
germanicus24 said:
Hi,

I friend of mine is having a Mormon wedding and has asked me to be one of the groomsmen. I’m not entirely sure what this entails as I’m under the impression I can’t enter their temple anyway and they are already civilly married. The bride converted from Catholicism when she was a kid along with most of her family. As a catholic, can I be a groomsmen for whatever kind of ceremony they are planning? I feel I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the help.
Click to expand...
Thank them for asking, but decline.

This is not a Christian wedding, and you do not want to be seen as condoning what is happening.
 
When I was agnostic, I was a groomsman for my best friends Mormon wedding - it was held in a secular setting.

If I had any advice, ask to see a written copy of the ritual that will be performed - I remember the one I was in was generally plain, but still rather odd.

Now that I’m Lutheran, I probably would have plenty of reservations if asked to do something like it again.
 
Randy_Carson said:
Thank them for asking, but decline.

This is not a Christian wedding, and you do not want to be seen as condoning what is happening.
Click to expand...
They are already married.

They are just being sealed and he wouldnt be able to attend anyway.
 
Marie5890 said:
They are already married.

They are just being sealed and he wouldnt be able to attend anyway.
Click to expand...
They are in fact NOT married. She is a Catholic, and has therefore attempted marriage invalidly. The OP should not participate in any way in this LDS event by being a “groomsman”.
 
1ke said:
They are in fact NOT married. She is a Catholic, and has therefore attempted marriage invalidly. The OP should not participate in any way in this LDS event by being a “groomsman”.
Click to expand...
If she is already part of another religion, she is no longer Catholic. The marriage is valid.
 
VanSensei said:
If she is already part of another religion, she is no longer Catholic. The marriage is valid.
Click to expand...
She has been LDS since she was a child, she and her family having left Catholicism according to the OP years ago…

She probably doesnt know anything about Catholicism, never mind valid or invalidly married…
 
Marie5890 said:
She has been LDS since she was a child, she and her family having left Catholicism according to the OP years ago…

She probably doesnt know anything about Catholicism, never mind valid or invalidly married…
Click to expand...
Ergo, the idea that she is bound to Catholic marital laws is a fallacy. She belongs to the LDS Church and not the Catholic Church.
 
Originally Posted by germanicus24 View Post
Hi,
Click to expand...
I friend of mine is having a Mormon wedding and has asked me to be one of the groomsmen. I’m not entirely sure what this entails as I’m under the impression I can’t enter their temple anyway and they are already civilly married.** The bride converted from Catholicism when she was a kid** along with most of her family. As a catholic, can I be a groomsmen for whatever kind of ceremony they are planning? I feel I shouldn’t.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the help.
Click to expand...
The bride was a child when her family converted. What does she know about Catholicism? Probably little or nothing. Are some of us being just a bit legalistic here?
 
VanSensei said:
If she is already part of another religion, she is no longer Catholic. The marriage is valid.
Click to expand...
It may be valid in the eyes of the state or in the eyes of the Mormons, but they are not validly married in the eyes of Christ or His Church.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top