Can I be a groomsman for a morman wedding?

[TexanKnight]

it is not a Mormon wedding. If you are able to attend, it is just a civil ceremony. It is a legal marriage, but not a sacramental one.

So, go ahead.

 

[twopekinguys]

Ergo, the idea that she is bound to Catholic marital laws is a fallacy. She belongs to the LDS Church and not the Catholic Church.

That’s funny, I was baptized Catholic, never catechized, even belonged to several protestant churches, married outside of the Church and divorced.

When I did come into full communion with the Church, I received a declaration of nullity due to lack of form, not an annulment.

Meaning, I was bound to follow the Church’s teaching about being married in the Church, even though I had belonged to other churches.

Explain that one.

 

[germanicus24]

Thank you everyone for your responses. They were extremely helpful.

I have declined their offer if I am to be in any ceremony. After some explanation about my decision they rephrased my role as ‘helping out and just being in the pictures.’ I do feel a bit torn because its obvious they want me to be a part of it. I have such a love for my Catholic faith that I agree with Randy Carson and 1ke that I should not ‘condone’ this at all. Doesn’t that mean I should not even be present though? God before man is my first thought, but that wouldn’t mean I love the bride and groom any less.

Odd timing, but another friend of mine asked me to be his groomsman in a valid wedding yesterday. Long story short the Mormon bride knows this other friend and that I’ve accepted. Heh, crazy world.

 

[kimg901]

I’m not sure if this has been answered but I’ll try.

If it is in a temple, then no. If it is in one of their churches then yes ( I was the best man at my Mormon friends wedding here in Utah. The looks I got for wearing my crucifix was priceless although my friend and his bride loved it that I don’t hide who or what I am) There is nothing wrong with it as long as you do not participate in anything else but the wedding.

 

[iepuras]

I’m not sure if this has been answered but I’ll try.

If it is in a temple, then no. If it is in one of their churches then yes ( I was the best man at my Mormon friends wedding here in Utah. The looks I got for wearing my crucifix was priceless although my friend and his bride loved it that I don’t hide who or what I am) There is nothing wrong with it as long as you do not participate in anything else but the wedding.

Good for you! I’m sure the looks on all the appalled Mormon faces were priceless! I get the same looks from Mormon friends as I make it a point to not only wear my crucifix proudly but also my charm bracelet that is full of Mary medals. My parents have gotten used to it but they don’t like it. I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!

 

[twopekinguys]

Good for you! I’m sure the looks on all the appalled Mormon faces were priceless! I get the same looks from Mormon friends as I make it a point to not only wear my crucifix proudly but also my charm bracelet that is full of Mary medals. My parents have gotten used to it but they don’t like it. I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!

I would have paid money to see that one!!!

 

[iepuras]

Thank you everyone for your responses. They were extremely helpful.

I have declined their offer if I am to be in any ceremony. After some explanation about my decision they rephrased my role as ‘helping out and just being in the pictures.’ I do feel a bit torn because its obvious they want me to be a part of it. I have such a love for my Catholic faith that I agree with Randy Carson and 1ke that I should not ‘condone’ this at all. Doesn’t that mean I should not even be present though? God before man is my first thought, but that wouldn’t mean I love the bride and groom any less.

Odd timing, but another friend of mine asked me to be his groomsman in a valid wedding yesterday. Long story short the Mormon bride knows this other friend and that I’ve accepted. Heh, crazy world.

I don’t blame you one bit for declining. I would have as well. I bore the indignity of waiting outside of the temple for my sister’s wedding last year. Never again. Fortunately, all my siblings are married so my presence won’t be required at any more family weddings. Have a good time at the reception and drink some champagne on their behalf (after the reception, of course)!

 

[LivingWaters7]

Thank you everyone for your responses. They were extremely helpful.

I have declined their offer if I am to be in any ceremony. After some explanation about my decision they rephrased my role as ‘helping out and just being in the pictures.’ I do feel a bit torn because its obvious they want me to be a part of it. I have such a love for my Catholic faith that I agree with Randy Carson and 1ke that I should not ‘condone’ this at all. Doesn’t that mean I should not even be present though? God before man is my first thought, but that wouldn’t mean I love the bride and groom any less.

Odd timing, but another friend of mine asked me to be his groomsman in a valid wedding yesterday. Long story short the Mormon bride knows this other friend and that I’ve accepted. Heh, crazy world.

“Helping out and just being in the pictures” sounds about right (see my earlier post on my experience as a groomsman). Since you said that they are already civilly married, it’s safe to assume that this wedding is a temple sealing. Since you are not a LDS with a temple recommend, you won’t be able to see that, and even if you were, there is no part for groomsman or bridesmaids in the sealing ordinance. Your role therefore, as mentioned, would merely be to go to the bachelor’s party if you want, take pictures (presumably outside the temple and at the reception), go to the rehearsal dinner (if they have one), and that’s about it. You won’t have any part in any religious ceremony. So, it’s up to you.

 

[kimg901]

Good for you! I’m sure the looks on all the appalled Mormon faces were priceless! I get the same looks from Mormon friends as I make it a point to not only wear my crucifix proudly but also my charm bracelet that is full of Mary medals. My parents have gotten used to it but they don’t like it. I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!

 

[benjohnson]

Have a good time at the reception and drink some champagne on their behalf (after the reception, of course)!

My Mormon friend made the mistake of having an open-bar for his non-Mormon friends after the wedding.

We did have a few toasts to “Joseph Smith!” and kept referring to the the beer as Pay Lay Ale. Good thing my friend has a good sense of humor!

 

[NeuroTypical]

I friend of mine is having a Mormon wedding and has asked me to be one of the groomsmen. …] As a catholic, can I be a groomsmen for whatever kind of ceremony they are planning? I feel I shouldn’t.

I’m fascinated by some of the replies in this thread. There seems to be three main opinions. Several folks are voicing the notion that there’s no problem with it. That would be my opinion as well. I’ve been asked to participate in four weddings/sealings/receptions. My funny history:

• I was best man in two receptions held after LDS sealings. I was an Agnostic during both of them, and was not invited to any of the temple sealing stuff. But these guys were my friends, and they wanted me to be as included as possible. I was grateful and had a blast.
• While agnostic, I was best man in a secular wedding for another group of agnostic friends. The high point was when the bride ditched the reception and we all went to McDonalds. I have pictures of us sliding down the fry slide in our tuxedoes and bridesmaid dresses. (The bride and her mom have always had an odd relationship. The reception was mom’s deal.) These folks had been shacking up for a year or two before. We ended the night by driving the bride and groom to their hotel, and kicking the bride out the door. Her big joke was that she didn’t want to go with the groom, because the groomsmen and bridesmaids had stuff planned that sounded more fun.
• After I came back fully to the LDS church, I was best man in a very secular wedding. To be precise, my wife and I were in charge of walking two rottweilers down the aisle, who were the actual best man and bridesmaid. I think my wife and I were about the only people there who believed in any sort of God at all. I remember a big wind blew over the banquet tent, and I had everyone laughing with my Reverend Lovejoy impression from The Simpsons. “And this never would have happened if this had been done properly in a church, instead of the cheap showiness of nature!” Self-effacing humor rocks. The event was for folks each on second or third marriages, there were already two kids involved, we were glad to see them give a shot at an actual covenant-based exclusive relationship. (The marriage lasted under a year, but my wife and I did the best we could to support them.)

My experiences have led me to the opinion, that if someone loves you enough to try to include you in some/all of such an important event, you go do it. Even if nobody believes the same thing about God, or what the event means, or should mean. I could have had a principled objection to any of those events. The only result of my declining, would have been a weakening of the relationship. Everyone already knew where I stood in those events.

no. You should refrain from participating in this ceremony.

Thank them for asking, but decline. This is not a Christian wedding, and you do not want to be seen as condoning what is happening.

The OP should not participate in any way in this LDS event by being a “groomsman”.

These comments I guess beg the question: why are you friends with them in the first place? What does a friendship with a non-Catholic actually mean to a Catholic? Are major life events in a non-catholic’s life, just not important to the Catholic unless the event conforms to the Catholic’s belief about what is important?

iepuras;11574441:

( I was the best man at my Mormon friends wedding here in Utah. The looks I got for wearing my crucifix was priceless although my friend and his bride loved it that I don’t hide who or what I am) There is nothing wrong with it as long as you do not participate in anything else but the wedding.

Good for you! I’m sure the looks on all the appalled Mormon faces were priceless! I get the same looks from Mormon friends as I make it a point to not only wear my crucifix proudly but also my charm bracelet that is full of Mary medals.
I would have paid money to see that one!!!

We did have a few toasts to “Joseph Smith!” and kept referring to the the beer as Pay Lay Ale. Good thing my friend has a good sense of humor!

I must admit, it never occurred to me to just show up for the purpose of making a scene, provoking a reaction, or mocking the beliefs of the bride and groom. These last quotes I just find fascinating. You guys really appreciate this sort of behavior? If my kid ever leaves the LDS faith and becomes Catholic, should I show up to their events and act similarly? Maybe I should get a tie pin with a picture of the angel Moroni, and go make sure everyone sees it. Perhaps I should raise some sort of lighthearted toast to the Pope (with a nonalcoholic beverage of course)?

Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little tacky to make a scene at an event where I’ve been invited to play a role?

 

[twopekinguys]

I’m fascinated by some of the replies in this thread. There seems to be three main opinions. Several folks are voicing the notion that there’s no problem with it. That would be my opinion as well. I’ve been asked to participate in four weddings/sealings/receptions. My funny history:

• I was best man in two receptions held after LDS sealings. I was an Agnostic during both of them, and was not invited to any of the temple sealing stuff. But these guys were my friends, and they wanted me to be as included as possible. I was grateful and had a blast.
• While agnostic, I was best man in a secular wedding for another group of agnostic friends. The high point was when the bride ditched the reception and we all went to McDonalds. I have pictures of us sliding down the fry slide in our tuxedoes and bridesmaid dresses. (The bride and her mom have always had an odd relationship. The reception was mom’s deal.) These folks had been shacking up for a year or two before. We ended the night by driving the bride and groom to their hotel, and kicking the bride out the door. Her big joke was that she didn’t want to go with the groom, because the groomsmen and bridesmaids had stuff planned that sounded more fun.
• After I came back fully to the LDS church, I was best man in a very secular wedding. To be precise, my wife and I were in charge of walking two rottweilers down the aisle, who were the actual best man and bridesmaid. I think my wife and I were about the only people there who believed in any sort of God at all. I remember a big wind blew over the banquet tent, and I had everyone laughing with my Reverend Lovejoy impression from The Simpsons. “And this never would have happened if this had been done properly in a church, instead of the cheap showiness of nature!” Self-effacing humor rocks. The event was for folks each on second or third marriages, there were already two kids involved, we were glad to see them give a shot at an actual covenant-based exclusive relationship. (The marriage lasted under a year, but my wife and I did the best we could to support them.)

My experiences have led me to the opinion, that if someone loves you enough to try to include you in some/all of such an important event, you go do it. Even if nobody believes the same thing about God, or what the event means, or should mean. I could have had a principled objection to any of those events. The only result of my declining, would have been a weakening of the relationship. Everyone already knew where I stood in those events.

These comments I guess beg the question: why are you friends with them in the first place? What does a friendship with a non-Catholic actually mean to a Catholic? Are major life events in a non-catholic’s life, just not important to the Catholic unless the event conforms to the Catholic’s belief about what is important?

I must admit, it never occurred to me to just show up for the purpose of making a scene, provoking a reaction, or mocking the beliefs of the bride and groom. These last quotes I just find fascinating. You guys really appreciate this sort of behavior? If my kid ever leaves the LDS faith and becomes Catholic, should I show up to their events and act similarly? Maybe I should get a tie pin with a picture of the angel Moroni, and go make sure everyone sees it. Perhaps I should raise some sort of lighthearted toast to the Pope (with a nonalcoholic beverage of course)?

Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little tacky to make a scene at an event where I’ve been invited to play a role?

I am only going to respond to my post that you quoted.

First and foremost, you did not include the entire post that I was responding to. That is utterly dishonest.

What you purposely failed to include was “I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!”

You know that is against forum rules to purposely alter a post to give an impression other than what was intended.

Shame on you, and it has been reported.

 

[NeuroTypical]

Sorry - here is the full post and full context:

I’m not sure if this has been answered but I’ll try.

If it is in a temple, then no. If it is in one of their churches then yes ( I was the best man at my Mormon friends wedding here in Utah. The looks I got for wearing my crucifix was priceless although my friend and his bride loved it that I don’t hide who or what I am) There is nothing wrong with it as long as you do not participate in anything else but the wedding.

Good for you! I’m sure the looks on all the appalled Mormon faces were priceless! I get the same looks from Mormon friends as I make it a point to not only wear my crucifix proudly but also my charm bracelet that is full of Mary medals. My parents have gotten used to it but they don’t like it. I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!

I see I’ve messed up the quote attributions - will go try to fix. But I’m not sure what impression I’ve given that wasn’t the impression you were trying to give. And I certainly don’t see where I’ve been dishonest, as I used the board’s quote feature and changed no text. If what I quoted wasn’t what you meant, could you clarify? I’m more than happy to understand your actual opinion, and have absolutely nothing to gain from misrepresenting it.

 

[NeuroTypical]

First and foremost, you did not include the entire post that I was responding to. That is utterly dishonest.

Sorry. I have absolutely nothing to gain my misrepresenting anything. If what I’ve quoted isn’t what you meant, could you please clarify?

What you purposely failed to include was “I got that priceless look from my father Christmas Eve when my 4 year old son told my parents that they needed to do the sign of the cross to pray properly. Out of the mouths of babes!”

I’m confused - you just quoted iepuras’ post #25, but you are twopekinguys. I’m confused - did I misquote him, or you?

You know that is against forum rules to purposely alter a post to give an impression other than what was intended.

Please help me understand what you actually believe about the issue in this thread. I have nothing to gain by misrepresenting.

 

[zaffiroborant]

I’m fascinated by some of the replies in this thread. There seems to be three main opinions. Several folks are voicing the notion that there’s no problem with it. That would be my opinion as well. I’ve been asked to participate in four weddings/sealings/receptions. My funny history:

• I was best man in two receptions held after LDS sealings. I was an Agnostic during both of them, and was not invited to any of the temple sealing stuff. But these guys were my friends, and they wanted me to be as included as possible. I was grateful and had a blast.
• While agnostic, I was best man in a secular wedding for another group of agnostic friends. The high point was when the bride ditched the reception and we all went to McDonalds. I have pictures of us sliding down the fry slide in our tuxedoes and bridesmaid dresses. (The bride and her mom have always had an odd relationship. The reception was mom’s deal.) These folks had been shacking up for a year or two before. We ended the night by driving the bride and groom to their hotel, and kicking the bride out the door. Her big joke was that she didn’t want to go with the groom, because the groomsmen and bridesmaids had stuff planned that sounded more fun.
• After I came back fully to the LDS church, I was best man in a very secular wedding. To be precise, my wife and I were in charge of walking two rottweilers down the aisle, who were the actual best man and bridesmaid. I think my wife and I were about the only people there who believed in any sort of God at all. I remember a big wind blew over the banquet tent, and I had everyone laughing with my Reverend Lovejoy impression from The Simpsons. “And this never would have happened if this had been done properly in a church, instead of the cheap showiness of nature!” Self-effacing humor rocks. The event was for folks each on second or third marriages, there were already two kids involved, we were glad to see them give a shot at an actual covenant-based exclusive relationship. (The marriage lasted under a year, but my wife and I did the best we could to support them.)

My experiences have led me to the opinion, that if someone loves you enough to try to include you in some/all of such an important event, you go do it. Even if nobody believes the same thing about God, or what the event means, or should mean. I could have had a principled objection to any of those events. The only result of my declining, would have been a weakening of the relationship. Everyone already knew where I stood in those events.

These comments I guess beg the question: why are you friends with them in the first place? What does a friendship with a non-Catholic actually mean to a Catholic? Are major life events in a non-catholic’s life, just not important to the Catholic unless the event conforms to the Catholic’s belief about what is important?

I must admit, it never occurred to me to just show up for the purpose of making a scene, provoking a reaction, or mocking the beliefs of the bride and groom. These last quotes I just find fascinating. You guys really appreciate this sort of behavior? If my kid ever leaves the LDS faith and becomes Catholic, should I show up to their events and act similarly? Maybe I should get a tie pin with a picture of the angel Moroni, and go make sure everyone sees it. Perhaps I should raise some sort of lighthearted toast to the Pope (with a nonalcoholic beverage of course)?

Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little tacky to make a scene at an event where I’ve been invited to play a role?

Pointed looks for someone elses religious jewelry is also rude. The making fun of Joseph Smith and temple stuff is uncalled for but certainly not the same as wearing religious medals.

 

[NeuroTypical]

Pointed looks for someone elses religious jewelry is also rude.

Oh, I agree totally. Why would anyone get bent out of shape just because someone shows up wearing something that identifies who they are?

My own wedding reception is such a blur, I honestly don’t remember if anyone was wearing anything like this. I remember my half-sister showed up in jeans and a tshirt, which is just who she is. There could have been a goodly number of crucifixes and I just didn’t think to notice them. I remember there were at least two Catholics at my reception - one of them was a little old lady co-worker of mine by the name of Mary. I’ve claimed on numerous occasions that she was, hands down, the most pure example of “nice little old lady” the race of men has ever produced. I don’t remember if she was wearing a crucifix or not.

The making fun of Joseph Smith and temple stuff is uncalled for but certainly not the same as wearing religious medals.

I’d agree with that. I mean, maybe I’m misunderstanding here, but when kimg910 said “The looks I got for wearing my crucifix was priceless”, and folks chime in with comments like “Good for you” and “I would have paid money to see that one!!!”, it makes me wonder if they’re supporting just wearing a crucifix, or if they’re gleefully appreciating the uncharitable reactions it caused.

Again, I’m honestly just trying to understand some of the comments here. I sincerely apologize if I quoted someone out of context or am misunderstanding intent. I look forward to twopekinguys’ clarification on what he means.

 

[iepuras]

I must admit, it never occurred to me to just show up for the purpose of making a scene, provoking a reaction, or mocking the beliefs of the bride and groom. These last quotes I just find fascinating. You guys really appreciate this sort of behavior? If my kid ever leaves the LDS faith and becomes Catholic, should I show up to their events and act similarly? Maybe I should get a tie pin with a picture of the angel Moroni, and go make sure everyone sees it. Perhaps I should raise some sort of lighthearted toast to the Pope (with a nonalcoholic beverage of course)?

Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little tacky to make a scene at an event where I’ve been invited to play a role?

I don’t know if you have noticed, but a lot of Catholics wear a crucifix every day. Many non-Catholic Christians wear a cross every day. Should they remove it because they attend an LDS wedding receiption or other event where lots of LDS will be in attendance? Is wearing a cross or crucifix in and of itself making a scene, provoking a reaction or mocking the beliefs of a Mormon? Should guests simply not wear any jewelry at all at an event where Mormons will be in attendance so as not to offend them?

My LDS sister married in the temple last year. I wore my crucifix as I waited outside the temple and at the reception. I wear this crucifix every day. I otherwise did not make a scene or direct attention to myself. I simply chatted with other guests and was polite and gracious to everyone in attendance. Was I mocking or inciting a reaction simply by wearing a crucifix?

When I first started wearing a crucifix, my parents looked at me weird. I had already been out of the LDS church for 5 months at that point. They don’t give me strange looks anymore, thank God. Whenever I see other LDS whether at the store or at a community event or party, they all give me strange looks and practically stare at the crucifix. Why is that? Is it my fault that the crucifix that I wear daily causes Mormons to look at me strangely? Is it ok if I start staring at their CTR rings and Moroni tie pins and give strange looks?

We invited my parents to our sons’ baptisms last year. They came, which was miraculous in and of itself, but they certainly had looks of sadness and disgust on their faces. Is their behavior acceptable because I wear a crucifix?

I don’t discuss religion with my parents so as not to upset them anymore then they already are. It’s not my fault they are uncomfortable with my wearing a crucifix or hanging a crucifix and a painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Jesus on the wall of my own home. I certainly don’t get visibly bothered by the pictures of LDS temples or Joseph Smith they have in their home or if they choose to wear CTR jewelry.

I wear the crucifix for myself, but I also want Mormons (not my family because they know better) to know that I am no longer Mormon. I don’t want to be love bombed and have my children invited to Primary events 11 months after we leave the LDS church and 9 months after we officially resign. I have made it clear that I don’t want the love bombing or invitations to church events but it happens anyway. If telling Mormons that I am becoming Catholic and wearing a crucifix is not enough to make it clear that I am no longer Mormon than what is?

I will give you that the toasts to Joseph Smith and calling the beer Pay Lay Ale is not appropriate at a wedding reception for an LDS bride and groom. I certainly wouldn’t do such a thing, especially in front of Mormons. You seem to think that those of us who wear a crucifix go around and shove it in others’ faces and that is simply not the case.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I must admit, it never occurred to me to just show up for the purpose of making a scene, provoking a reaction, or mocking the beliefs of the bride and groom. These last quotes I just find fascinating. You guys really appreciate this sort of behavior? If my kid ever leaves the LDS faith and becomes Catholic, should I show up to their events and act similarly? Maybe I should get a tie pin with a picture of the angel Moroni, and go make sure everyone sees it. Perhaps I should raise some sort of lighthearted toast to the Pope (with a nonalcoholic beverage of course)?

Am I the only person who thinks it’s a little tacky to make a scene at an event where I’ve been invited to play a role?

I think you misunderstood. Catholics wear crucifixes and medals and don’t take them off. So wearing a crucifix to a Mormon event does not have goal or purpose to offend, it is just a Catholic being who they are. The Mormon horror at a crucifix is a Mormon being who they are.

I read the “good for you” as supporting a person who lives their faith. Catholics can feel a pressure to not be outwardly Catholic. To keep our faith “private”, which is not what we believe about faith.

 

[twopekinguys]

Sorry. I have absolutely nothing to gain my misrepresenting anything. If what I’ve quoted isn’t what you meant, could you please clarify?

I’m confused - you just quoted iepuras’ post #25, but you are twopekinguys. I’m confused - did I misquote him, or you?

Please help me understand what you actually believe about the issue in this thread. I have nothing to gain by misrepresenting.

You purposely left out the portion of iepuras’ quote dealing with what her 4 year old son said. That gave the impression that my response had to do with her displaying her crucifix.

Had you simply used the quote feature, the entire post would have been visible, but, obviously, some editing was done, which changed the context of my response.

My opinion on the subject is this. This person should not participate in the capacity of best man at this wedding.

One of the parties is a baptized Catholic, and unless a formal resignation from the Catholic Church was written, or, they received a dispensation to be married outside of the Church, they are still required to be married in the Church. Doing neither of these constitutes a non-sacramental marriage.

Participating in a non valid marriage can, and does give the impression of supporting a non sacramental marriage, and thus, causes scandal.

 

[NeuroTypical]

I don’t know if you have noticed, but a lot of Catholics wear a crucifix every day. Many non-Catholic Christians wear a cross every day. Should they remove it because they attend an LDS wedding receiption or other event where lots of LDS will be in attendance?

Of course not.

Is wearing a cross or crucifix in and of itself making a scene, provoking a reaction or mocking the beliefs of a Mormon?

Of course not.

Should guests simply not wear any jewelry at all at an event where Mormons will be in attendance so as not to offend them?

Of course not.

My LDS sister married in the temple last year. I wore my crucifix as I waited outside the temple and at the reception. I wear this crucifix every day. I otherwise did not make a scene or direct attention to myself. I simply chatted with other guests and was polite and gracious to everyone in attendance. Was I mocking or inciting a reaction simply by wearing a crucifix?

It doesn’t sound like it from your description.

When I first started wearing a crucifix, my parents looked at me weird. I had already been out of the LDS church for 5 months at that point. They don’t give me strange looks anymore, thank God. Whenever I see other LDS whether at the store or at a community event or party, they all give me strange looks and practically stare at the crucifix. Why is that?

I honestly don’t know. I’ve seen a bazillion crosses and crucifixes on people’s necks in my 40+ years, and I don’t think them odd or provocative or anything of the sort. I don’t remember any reaction on my part, other than perhaps curiosity.

Is it my fault that the crucifix that I wear daily causes Mormons to look at me strangely?

From your description, it doesn’t sound like it.

Is it ok if I start staring at their CTR rings and Moroni tie pins and give strange looks?

It’s fine by me if you’d like to do so, it doesn’t matter to me one way or the other. I’ve said, been, and done many things that earn me strange looks. And sometimes I get them for no reason at all. I’m never sure how to react to them, but they don’t make me uncomfortable.

We invited my parents to our sons’ baptisms last year. They came, which was miraculous in and of itself, but they certainly had looks of sadness and disgust on their faces. Is their behavior acceptable because I wear a crucifix?

That’s horrible. Your parents gave looks of disgust in your children’s presence? I wonder how that made your kids feel. Sounds totally unacceptable.

I wear the crucifix for myself, but I also want Mormons (not my family because they know better) to know that I am no longer Mormon. I don’t want to be love bombed and have my children invited to Primary events 11 months after we leave the LDS church and 9 months after we officially resign. I have made it clear that I don’t want the love bombing or invitations to church events but it happens anyway. If telling Mormons that I am becoming Catholic and wearing a crucifix is not enough to make it clear that I am no longer Mormon than what is?

Everything you say here makes total sense to me. I’ve experienced similar things from family members when I went inactive. “Love bombing” - mormons are usually guilty as charged.

You seem to think that those of us who wear a crucifix go around and shove it in others’ faces and that is simply not the case.

I assure you, I do not think that. Thank you for clarifying.