Can I be a priest?

[St.BJLabre]

I just want to start off by saying that I am really confussed about what to do right now so any advice and prayers would be helpful…

I am a young guy who is interested in the priesthood. I also have a history of same sex attractions. I’ve never acted on them, I don’t indulge in same sex fantasies and I am completely faithful to the Church. I understand that homosexuality has psychological roots and I have worked many of these issues out both on my own and with a therapist for a short period of time. While the same sex attractions don’t have the hold on me they used to anymore, I still have momentary attractions. In other words, we I see somebody who is attractive (more often than not of the same sex), I am attracted. I don’t stop to fantasize about it at all or anything like that. Homosexuality isn’t a dominating part of my personality. Anyway this new document confusses me. I have tried to get help from a bunch of different places. One of the apologists on this site told me what “deeply-seated homosexual tendencies” means is someone who is not able or inclined to live as a celibate. I wrote in and asked Jimmy Akin and he said that he believes the phrase means someone who has a regular homosexual fantasy life. You can look on his website under “cannon law” to see the respone. I also talked to the vocations director of a religious order I am interested in about it and he said something similar. I guess my question is does the fact that I still have momentary same sex attractions mean I can’t be a priest? The answers I have been getting are conflicting. Do you think it would be immoral to proceed with the process if I am not sure exactly what the document means and everyone is encouraging me? Help!

 

[bknebel]

I don’t have a reply for you, other than to say that if you are able to control those fantasies, etc and maybe are willing to undergo a psychological evaluation and maybe some counseling (to help you get a more firm grip on it), that maybe it is possible to be ordained.

I don’t think this is any different than someone wtih opposite sex attractions- one needs to be in control of it in order to live a celibate and prayerful life. God will help you.

If you have the vocation, God will help you achieve it in the proper form!

I’m praying for yah, Brother!

 

[Della]

It seems to me that your attraction is a minimal thing in your life, which many people experience, men and women both. If you would be open to getting married as a Catholic man and open to children, I cannot see why you could not enter the seminary. It is the man who would not be a husband and father, due to homosexual tendencies, that is disqualified because such a man cannot stand in the place of Christ who is the Bridegroom and the Father of his people.

However, you need to not only consider this issue, but why you want to be a priest of a religious order, as well. That’s just as important to sort out as any other issue in your life. Do you love God, the Church, and the people of God and want to give your life to them? If so, then you probably are a good candidate.

 

[she_he]

I am no expert so i cannot offer you those kinds of things.
But i will offer my own human opinion that as it may be.

Why wouldnt you be able to be a priest?
you state you have same sex attractions,
is that any different per say then the other guy having opposite attractions?
an attraction is an attraction,esspecially when you consider priesthood.
…
Ordained priests,and Bishops have attractions…
its what they do with them attractions that sets them apart
Obviously a lot of misguided people feel all people whom have homosexual feelings are wicked,sick,and satanic. However this is old belief mostly brought about from Fear, or difference.
There is no evidence to support claims that heterosexuals have less tendancy to ( we will use stray) than someone whom is homosexual.

You seem to be beating yourself up over this,So I would definatly talk this over with someone, a professional,even a Priest.
once you can accept whom and how you are I am sure you will make an excellent “man of the cloth”

        Good Luck
                   John

 

[Brain]

St.BJLabre:

I just want to start off by saying that I am really confussed about what to do right now so any advice and prayers would be helpful…

I am a young guy who is interested in the priesthood. I also have a history of same sex attractions. I’ve never acted on them, I don’t indulge in same sex fantasies and I am completely faithful to the Church. I understand that homosexuality has psychological roots and I have worked many of these issues out both on my own and with a therapist for a short period of time. While the same sex attractions don’t have the hold on me they used to anymore, I still have momentary attractions. In other words, we I see somebody who is attractive (more often than not of the same sex), I am attracted. I don’t stop to fantasize about it at all or anything like that. Homosexuality isn’t a dominating part of my personality. Anyway this new document confusses me. I have tried to get help from a bunch of different places. One of the apologists on this site told me what “deeply-seated homosexual tendencies” means is someone who is not able or inclined to live as a celibate. I wrote in and asked Jimmy Akin and he said that he believes the phrase means someone who has a regular homosexual fantasy life. You can look on his website under “cannon law” to see the respone. I also talked to the vocations director of a religious order I am interested in about it and he said something similar. I guess my question is does the fact that I still have momentary same sex attractions mean I can’t be a priest? The answers I have been getting are conflicting. Do you think it would be immoral to proceed with the process if I am not sure exactly what the document means and everyone is encouraging me? Help!

I see no reason why you couldn’t be one. You clearly live chastly and make an effort to suppress temptation. You also have recognized and dealt with your homosexual tendancies and seem to be wary of them. I see a woman and i can recognize her as attractive and that is fine but I must keep it the same as how i recognize a handsome man, in a non-sexual way. this is hard but somnthing you will have to do, and i know it is likly going to be ahrder than my own strggle to so the same because of your history (but it seems you are practicing it so good for you).

realize you will be in a same-sex enviroment for a very very long time if you enter seminary and then a lifetime of communal life. If you think you are healed enough to accept this and live pure, go for it.

Good luck and may God bless and keep you from all harm and temptation.

 

[harinkj]

Brain:

Good luck and may God bless and keep you from all harm and temptation.

and Good Luck!!

• Kathie :bowdown:

 

[Forest-Pine]

Della:

If you would be open to getting married as a Catholic man and open to children, I cannot see why you could not enter the seminary. It is the man who would not be a husband and father, due to homosexual tendencies, that is disqualified because such a man cannot stand in the place of Christ who is the Bridegroom and the Father of his people.

Although I understand the point, I disagree with this statement. It is a perfectly fine vocation to be called to single life. One does not have to discern between married life of the priesthood. I believe Della’s point is that the priesthood is a type of marriage and parenting and you must have the skills and calling to this if you wish to pursue it. All priests are not diocesan priests, though. Not all priests have to shephard in the same way. Priesthood takes a different type of calling and a different type of grace than marraige and family life. Which do you have?

Her latter part of her post, though, I completely agree with. If you are being called to the priesthood for its own sake is quite different than if you are looking into it to run away from homosexual tendencies. I believe that this is the same line that the recent document is trying to draw. It was common at one point in time to “treat” homosexuality with a “prescription” of the priesthood. (Hey! A homosexual must be chaste. A priest must be chaste. So put your chastity to work in the priesthood!) But this has proven to be a poor idea. Many of those people who became priests were actually called to a vocation as a single person.

That said, there has been talk that even the bishops cannot agree on an interpretation. Some say they will ban anyone who ever had a homosexual tendency. Some say they will still welcome all those with homosexual tendencies with open arms. And most fall somewhere in between. It looks like you simply are not going to get a straight answer that applies across the board for quite some time.

So, the avenue you must pursue is to be honest and forthcoming with the people who are in a position of making such decisions. See what they say. If the vocations director of your desired order is aware of your circumstances and encouraging you to continue the process of discernment, then follow his lead.

Heterosexual priests do not stop being heterosexual. They are still attracted to women. The key is to have a firm control of your sexuality and realize that it is something that you can control. If you cannot control these inclinations, then you are not a good candidate for the priesthood, whether you are heterosexual or homosexual. However, having the fleeting thought enter your mind is not a lack of control or a sin. It is the entertainment of such a thought that is sinful.

Stop worrying about what every random person says on the subject and rely on the people whose decisions matter. Your order’s vocations director, superiors, bishops, etc. It is all you have to go on right now.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

There is one way to find out, my friend. Go forward and apply to the order of your choice and answer all questions with full honesty. Then ask the Holy Spirit to guide those who will make the decision for you. If they keep you, then I would look at it as a sign that you may very well be called. If they say that they cannot accept you, then apply to a second order of your choice. Do the same thing until you have exhausted at least three orders or more.

I say this because many saints were rejected by the initial order to which they applied, or to which they were drawn. But, in their persistence to be priests, they pressed on.

If you truly submit your will to that of the Father, and trust Him fully, then if he does not want you to be a priest, you will not be accepted no matter how many orders you attempt to get in.

Granted, someone could say that some orders are interpreting it looser than others. Some orders may actually be run by priests with gay tendencies. Sure, but get the Holy Spirit on your side by your willingness to submit to His will first and foremost. Then, seek out an order known for its orthodoxy. If one of several orthodox Catholic orders is willing to let you have a run at it through formation, then I would say its a sure bet that you have been called, provided you make it all the way through the process.

God bless and prayers for you. I think there is a possibility they may look at your case as transitory. They are attempting to root out anyone who is going to promote the gay culture as there are priests who do that today. It is simply causing too many problems to allow more like that into the priesthood.

 

[arieh0310]

I think what many orthodox Catholics disapprove of is when a person with SSA:

1. Enters the priesthood as an escape from the “real world”, thinking that the priesthood will help their disorder out in some way, or…
2. Enters the priesthood opposed to the Catholic teaching on homosexuality with the intent to promote dissent, or…
3. Who identify their whole person as “gay”, like it is a third gender, or…
4. Who enter with the intent commiting homosexual acts and no intent on being celebate.

It sounds like to me that you struggle with mild attraction, that you hold to the teachings of the Church, and do not identify yourself as “gay”. I think you meet the criteria listed in the document. I will pray for the Lord’s will in your life.

 

[Della]

Originally Posted by Della
If you would be open to getting married as a Catholic man and open to children, I cannot see why you could not enter the seminary. It is the man who would not be a husband and father, due to homosexual tendencies, that is disqualified because such a man cannot stand in the place of Christ who is the Bridegroom and the Father of his people.

Although I understand the point, I disagree with this statement. It is a perfectly fine vocation to be called to single life. One does not have to discern between married life of the priesthood.

Being open to marriage is not the same thing as having to chose between marriage and the priesthood. Every single person should be just as open to marriage and children as any religious/priest would have been if they had not become a religious/priest. If not, such a person has a disorder.

I believe Della’s point is that the priesthood is a type of marriage and parenting and you must have the skills and calling to this if you wish to pursue it.

Yes, that’s what I meant.

All priests are not diocesan priests, though. Not all priests have to shephard in the same way. Priesthood takes a different type of calling and a different type of grace than marraige and family life.

Yes, this is true. However, all priests are “alter Christi” and so should be able to model the life of a normal heterosexual male as Christ himself did.

 

[matthias]

St.BJLabre:

…Do you think it would be immoral to proceed with the process if I am not sure exactly what the document means and everyone is encouraging me? Help!

Yes, as long as you make every effort to be totally honest with the vocational director of whatever diocese or order you enter it is not really your responsibility to interpret this document. I’d suggest going to them, explain the call you feel, and your situation and ask them to honestly interpret the newly released document and determine if you are a viable candidate. That takes your own opinion out of the picture and should ease your conscience.

 

[St.BJLabre]

Then, seek out an order known for its orthodoxy. If one of several orthodox Catholic orders is willing to let you have a run at it through formation, then I would say its a sure bet that you have been called, provided you make it all the way through the process.

I am interested in the Capuchins. The vocations director was very orthodox (I kind of have a nose for sniffing out who is and who isn’t). Plus, when I asked him if they were orthodox he said that Benedict Groeschel said that if he had been in this Capuchin province, he never would have left. So I feel pretty comfortable with their orthodoxy.

 

[JNB]

You have a cross to bear that is not easy. My suggestion is simple, be in prayer and talk to a solid spiritual director, strongly rooted in the faith. No easy decsions, and with all the outside noise, they can become even more difficult.

St.BJLabre:

I just want to start off by saying that I am really confussed about what to do right now so any advice and prayers would be helpful…

I am a young guy who is interested in the priesthood. I also have a history of same sex attractions. I’ve never acted on them, I don’t indulge in same sex fantasies and I am completely faithful to the Church. I understand that homosexuality has psychological roots and I have worked many of these issues out both on my own and with a therapist for a short period of time. While the same sex attractions don’t have the hold on me they used to anymore, I still have momentary attractions. In other words, we I see somebody who is attractive (more often than not of the same sex), I am attracted. I don’t stop to fantasize about it at all or anything like that. Homosexuality isn’t a dominating part of my personality. Anyway this new document confusses me. I have tried to get help from a bunch of different places. One of the apologists on this site told me what “deeply-seated homosexual tendencies” means is someone who is not able or inclined to live as a celibate. I wrote in and asked Jimmy Akin and he said that he believes the phrase means someone who has a regular homosexual fantasy life. You can look on his website under “cannon law” to see the respone. I also talked to the vocations director of a religious order I am interested in about it and he said something similar. I guess my question is does the fact that I still have momentary same sex attractions mean I can’t be a priest? The answers I have been getting are conflicting. Do you think it would be immoral to proceed with the process if I am not sure exactly what the document means and everyone is encouraging me? Help!