Carol Marie,
I understand exactly where you are coming from. When God first grabbed ahold of my heart in a Nazarene Church, I among others was asked to give a talk about “How I know I am saved”.
In the talk, I said I had always thought “How arrogant it is for people to say I know I am saved. But I am here to tell you, I know I am saved.”
Now this was not an OSAS kind of thing.
Have you read the tract Assurance of Salvation? from CA? Skim down to
Can you Know? about halfway down the page.
catholic.com/library/Assurance_of_Salvation.asp
It fits perfectly, for me, of how I “know” I am going to heaven. In the Catholic Church I now say, I am confident, because of the possibility of self deception as the Bible warns. Jesus declared:
‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord” shall enter the kingdom of heaven’ (Matt. 7:21)."
So if when you say “I know” you acknowledge the possibility for self-deception, as well as the possibility that you may choose to walk away from God at any time, then yes you can say I know meaning at this point in time.
From CA Assurance of Salvation?
Such an individual was Paul, writing at the end of his life, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day” (2 Tim. 4:7-8). But earlier in life, even Paul did not claim an infallible assurance, either of his present justification or of his remaining in grace in the future. Concerning his present state, he wrote, "I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby justified [Gk., *dedikaiomai
]. It is the Lord who judges me" (1 Cor. 4:4). Concerning his remaining life, Paul was frank in admitting that even he could fall away: “I pummel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:27). Of course, for a spiritual giant such as Paul, it would be quite unexpected and out of character for him to fall from God’s grace.** Nevertheless, he points out that, however much confidence in his own salvation he may be warranted in feeling, even he cannot be
infallibly sure either of his own present state or of his future course. **
However, I think part of the reason the Catholic Church teaches that it is a presumption to say “I know” is for the very fact that it keeps in the forefront of our minds, that I must continue to “walk the walk” lest I should perish.
For these reasons I no longer say I know I am going to heaven even though my confidence is not one bit less that the day I gave the speach of my “knowing I am saved”. **I now say I am confident I am going to heaven. **This wording does not deny the Scripture that there are those who
think they are going to heaven but won’t.
From CA Assurance of Salvation
One can be confident of one’s present salvation. This is one of the chief reasons why God gave us the sacraments—to provide visible assurances that he is invisibly providing us with his grace. And one can be confident that one has not thrown away that grace by simply examining one’s life and seeing whether one has committed mortal sin.
God Bless,
Maria