It sounds like you are struggling with your conscience. You have admitted that you know what you did was wrong, but you recognize that your life took a certain course it may not have because of the choice you made. I think what you need to understand is that you don’t have to regret the good that has happened in your life since the abortion in order to regret the choice you made to abort your child.
I think you seriously need to ponder
exactly what abortion is and what it did to your child. You said, “I don’t think it’s right,” but why isn’t it right? Once you understand exactly what happened as a consequence of your choice, perhaps you will wish to ponder Mother Teresa’s famous statement:
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.
If you can
sincerely repent having had an abortion, yes, you can be forgiven. If you have not already done so, go to confession. I also very much recommend that you look into a post-abortion healing program, such as those sponsored by
Project Rachel or
Rachel’s Vineyard. Your diocese can point you to one in your area.
Tomorrow, January 22, 2009, will be the thirty-sixth anniversary of the legalization of abortion in the United States. It is no accident that you chose this time to ask your question because, as Pope John Paul II liked to say, “In the designs of providence, there are no mere coincidences.” In honor of your eldest child, I implore you to re-examine the choice you made and to reconsider whether or not you can continue not to regret it. My prayers are with you that you will find peace in Christ. God bless.
