I want to say something that could help you, that would really, really help you… but I am afraid that I cannot find the right words. So many people said so many beautiful things and they are all right. If I know anything at this moment, anything at all - it is that God loves you and wants to forgive you!
Do not hurt yourself with thinking that you are a filthy creature. Yes, you are responsible for your sins, at least partly… but you are an amazing, beautiful being. Why? Because God has created you as his daughter, unique and special. Be sorry for your sins, but look forward for meeting him, maybe after all this, you are finally ready to meet your Creator. As a sinner, but as a redeemed sinner.
Pray, always when you will have time, pray. God does not care about how filthy you see yourself, he sees you as you truly are, in his image, great and shining. And after you ask for forgivness, praise the Lord!
I know, that God wants you to realize, that he has a special plan for you. You can put your sins behind and seek God in his Church, be cleansed at baptism and build a relationship with him
I know, that family issues may be too much for one person sometimes, but pray for your parents, even if you have problems with them. But remember, that there is always your eternal Father in Heaven, who cares about you. And your spiritual mother Mary, who prays for you every day.
We fly to thy protection,
O holy Mother of God.
Despise not our petitions
in our necessities,
but deliver us always
from all dangers
O glorious and blessed Virgin.
BLESS YOU! And never forget, you are amazing and God loves you! Forever! Isn’t that awesome!