C
celisabethp17
Guest
Ever since i was born, i was raised catholic and went to catholic mass almost every sunday- my parents were good catholics. However, I received my first communion and my confirmation as well in the 2nd grade. (9 or 10 years old). When I was about 11 or 12, my parents went through a divorce and an annulment of their marriage. During this time, we all stopped going to church, with the exception of maybe my dad who went but never encouraged me and my brother to go. at the age of 12 almost 13, my mother brother and I moved out of state to be near her family, and ever since (im 17 now) we have not been involved in the church. I go sometimes when i go back to my dads house, but it is awkward because i know that i need to go to confession and that im sinning here. Also, my dad got recently married again, to a non catholic woman, though she is christian. They had a fully catholic wedding in a beautiful basilica. They made me be the bridesmaid, and both i and the bride wore strapless dresses, which i didnt feel physically uncomfortable in but i didnt feel was appropriate for church, let alone a mass in this especially beautiful church. I cried through much of the ceremony and the priest gave me a hug afterward, saying that it was hard but that it would be ok. It was awkward because i kindof felt that the church was letting me down by letting my dad of all people get remarried in such a holy ceremony after committing adultery with my mother and lying a lot. I shouldnt be this vain, but it was so hard for me to go through this. Recently after finding this forum and educating myself even more about catholicism, i find that when i was confirmed, i did not really know much about what it was or what was happening. I remember asking people what confirmation was, because i heard them saying this word, but i never understood their answers. I feel as though im not as part of the church as i could have been since i wasnt really knowing what was going on during confirmation. Many of my catholic friends are doing confirmation now at the age of 16 or 17. I feel that if i was doing this now, i would understand it a lot more and get a lot more out of it and be closer to God and Jesus. I also feel sinful for not having been to confession or mass in a while and I would appreciate any answers or feedback any of you have on this- Im sorry it is so long! Also: I am quite interested in wearing a scapular- i remember receiving one of the brown ones at a young age but i cannot locate it now! I want to learn! Thank you so much for reading this- Caroline
ps- i just want to add that for a while in about 7th grade during the divorce and stuff, i kind of fell apart from the church- i doubt i couldve even remembered my Our Father, Hail Mary, or Glory Be, though now i say these prayers every night. I think it was more because of how i felt about my dad and he was always strongly catholic, and i always thought he was so religious just so that he could commit all these sins and still be saved. Im sorry, i shouldnt say these things but thats how i felt- i even played with the idea of switching religions, all in a joking matter, but i feel it was more about the lack of education about my own religion and my own God, though i’ve always believed in God and Jesus anyway, i was surprised to learn many of the Catholic beliefs that i didnt know i was supposed to believe though now i do believe them no that i have educated myself and began looking online at sites like catholic answers and reading the bible.
Sooo sorry for dragging this on and on!
ps- i just want to add that for a while in about 7th grade during the divorce and stuff, i kind of fell apart from the church- i doubt i couldve even remembered my Our Father, Hail Mary, or Glory Be, though now i say these prayers every night. I think it was more because of how i felt about my dad and he was always strongly catholic, and i always thought he was so religious just so that he could commit all these sins and still be saved. Im sorry, i shouldnt say these things but thats how i felt- i even played with the idea of switching religions, all in a joking matter, but i feel it was more about the lack of education about my own religion and my own God, though i’ve always believed in God and Jesus anyway, i was surprised to learn many of the Catholic beliefs that i didnt know i was supposed to believe though now i do believe them no that i have educated myself and began looking online at sites like catholic answers and reading the bible.
Sooo sorry for dragging this on and on!
