Can I become a priest if I have a child I don't support?

[mcrickeo]

I want to become a Catholic priest. I use the words “I want” with caution as I have spent such a long time praying about this, but I feel it’s what God wants me to do. I keep getting pulled back to this. It wouldn’t be my first career choice but I know it’s what God wants me to do.

There is one problem stopping me though. I have a child but I don’t have any parental responsibility for this child as the child’s mother doesn’t let me see said child and didn’t add me to the birth certificate. I see that a requirement to become a priest is not to be married or have children, but I have found some exceptions in the past where priests who have had children before they were ordained were allowed to enter the priesthood.

I feel it would be a shame if I couldn’t become a priest since I believe it’s a calling placed on my heart from God and I do believe since I do not have primary full-time care for my child that it wouldn’t interfere with my ability to do God’s work. Would my application to a seminary be completely dismissed based on having a child or can exceptions be made?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Just because the mother of your child made it easy for you to avoid legal responsibility for this child does not mean that you do not have any moral responsibility. You may not be able to see the child and may not be the legal father, but you apparently are certain the child is yours. If that is the case, then you have two obligations:

• One, you need to be available to take on care and support of the child on a moment’s notice should it ever become necessary. That would certainly impact your availability for priestly duties and your capacity to support a child on a priest’s income.
• And, two, you have a financial obligation to your child. Even if you are not currently being legally required to pay child support, you have an ethical obligation to provide it. If you cannot give it to your child now, you can still find out what you would ordinarily be required to pay in your state and put that money into an account on a monthly basis for your child’s future.

I think you need to reconsider your attitude toward this child and toward the mother of your child. Through your own actions, you became responsible for another human being and you bear some responsibility for the impact of that on the child’s mother. The dismissal of such a responsibility is a character flaw that would certainly be evaluated negatively by those who assess a candidate’s suitability for the priesthood.

This does not mean that you may not be called to be a priest. It simply means that you cannot pursue that calling at this point while you still have responsibility for a minor child and for that child’s mother. Perhaps once the child is grown and fully independent you might be able to reassess whether or not you are called to the priesthood. But, right now, in the present moment, your responsibilities lie elsewhere.