Can I bring a "cheat sheet" into the confessional

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victrolatim

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Planning soon to go to confession, been making a thorough examination of conscience and I have been writing things down to remember to confess. I have short term memory issues, is it ok to bring said sheet into the confessional? It has no personally identifiable information and I would destroy it afterwards.
 
Yes you can bring a written list of sins. I am a middle aged convert so I needed to make a list to remember all my sins for my first confession. Personally now I use a list on my phone. This is mainly because I still get a little nervous going to confession and in that nervousness don’t want to forget.

The only time I think it would be a problem is if a person was scrupulous and was using a list to feed his scrupulousity.
 
It does not list sins, but our church’s confessional has the “script” of the confession taped up as a “cheat sheet”.
 
I do it all the time. I keep a itty bitty notebook with me in my purse to jot down my sins each day. I use that notebook when I examine my conscience before confession. It helps me to see patterns in my life that are leading to sins. I jot down the things I need to work on and use in my confession. After confession, I take my notes back home and rip the pages out of my itty bitty notebook. I burn them and it feels so good to see them go up in flames. It’s very therapeutic and very cleansing.
 
Sure can!

I use a “Confession App” on my iPhone. The app helps me with my examination of consiouence, and then lists them out for me when I’m ready for confession. It also records the day of my last confession so I can tell father.

Finally, it has an act of confession and remaining liturgy in case the confessional is dark and I can’t read paper.

So I love the app, but I won’t use if confessing face to face.

God Bless
 
I did that once. I’m planning on doing it again too!

Just remember to burn that sucker when you’re finished. I wouldn’t want the least possibility of someone picking up an actual paper list of my sins!
 
Absolutely.
I’ve never done this myself personally, but when I went to Confession last Friday, I forgot what to say after the In the name of the Father…Then after remembering to say when the last time I went to Confession, I forgot the sins I’ve been preparing to confess. The priest thought I was embarrassed and told me not to be.
I usually go once a month and this was a very strange occurrence for me. Perhaps next time I shall also bring a “cheat sheet.”
 
victrolatim said:
Planning soon to go to confession, been making a thorough examination of conscience and I have been writing things down to remember to confess. I have short term memory issues, is it ok to bring said sheet into the confessional? It has no personally identifiable information and I would destroy it afterwards.
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I am going to approach this from a bit of a different angle.

I have gone, on occasion, to Reconciliation at a parish which has a number of people going. Often enough that I recognize some of them.

On occasion with a line of fifteen or more waiting, someone will go in, and spend 15 to 18 minutes (I have actually timed it); the result is that the last 5 to 7 do not get in as the priest has to quit at a certain time.

It is possible that the person taking so long has committed so many sins that it takes that long to confess.

Possible, but far more likely either they have issues with scrupulosity, or they are seeking spiritual direction.

I am not suggesting that writing a list is either of thsoe issues; only that it sometimes can be a sign of them.

Most confessors do not want a blow-by-blow detailing of each and every instance of a sin. For example, let’s take gossip. Assuming that one has the intention of damaging another person, and the sin was committed 7 times; three with a coworker concerning two other people; twice with a close friend concerning a third person, and with a spouse concerning two of those three people, the sin has been committed 7 times. If the priest needs more information, they will ask.

And while it is very commendable to confess venial sins, it is not required (again, the issue of time vs. someone else’s need to confess).

So I have no problem with a list; it is more an issue of how the list is used in the confessional. My only suggestion is to remember those in line behind you.
 
otjm said:
I am going to approach this from a bit of a different angle.

I have gone, on occasion, to Reconciliation at a parish which has a number of people going. Often enough that I recognize some of them.

On occasion with a line of fifteen or more waiting, someone will go in, and spend 15 to 18 minutes (I have actually timed it); the result is that the last 5 to 7 do not get in as the priest has to quit at a certain time.

It is possible that the person taking so long has committed so many sins that it takes that long to confess.

Possible, but far more likely either they have issues with scrupulosity, or they are seeking spiritual direction.

I am not suggesting that writing a list is either of thsoe issues; only that it sometimes can be a sign of them.

Most confessors do not want a blow-by-blow detailing of each and every instance of a sin. For example, let’s take gossip. Assuming that one has the intention of damaging another person, and the sin was committed 7 times; three with a coworker concerning two other people; twice with a close friend concerning a third person, and with a spouse concerning two of those three people, the sin has been committed 7 times. If the priest needs more information, they will ask.

And while it is very commendable to confess venial sins, it is not required (again, the issue of time vs. someone else’s need to confess).

So I have no problem with a list; it is more an issue of how the list is used in the confessional. My only suggestion is to remember those in line behind you.
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I find that a list actually speeds up the confession because it organizes your thoughts.
 
phil19034 said:
I find that a list actually speeds up the confession because it organizes your thoughts.
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I find the same. On my list I have formulated how to say the sin as briefly as possible. I have written a number and the most concise way to state the sin. When I’m confessing I just run down the list. It also keeps me from trying to explain my sin. I’m quite sure this takes less time than if I had to rely on my memory. So I don’t think the issue is the list but that some have scrupulosity.
 
phil19034 said:
I find that a list actually speeds up the confession because it organizes your thoughts.
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That is wonderful, and I am not suggesting that it cannot help to focus.

However, not everyone does focus. My comments are simply meant for those who, for whatever reason, feel a need either to elaborate, or suffer from scrupulosity. Making a list is not, in and of itself, indicative of either issue; but on more than one or two occasions, I have been one standing in the line where some penitent spends 15 minutes or more. It is entirely possible those individuals did not have a list. 🤷
 
exnihilo said:
I find the same. On my list I have formulated how to say the sin as briefly as possible. I have written a number and the most concise way to state the sin. When I’m confessing I just run down the list. It also keeps me from trying to explain my sin. I’m quite sure this takes less time than if I had to rely on my memory. So I don’t think the issue is the list but that some have scrupulosity.
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Thank you for the response.

I tried to write my comments in a way that did not say that having a list was indicative of either problem. A list can exacerbate a problem; it also can work for the reverse - getting focused. To those of us who have a long experience with Reconciliation (mine is about 6 and a half decades) have likely gained the focus you speak of.

Having worked with people entering the Church, I know that some come in feeling they need to present chapter, line, verse, and the third hair on the dog. As you, I, and phil19034 all understand, 'tain’t necessarily so.
 
otjm said:
Thank you for the response.

I tried to write my comments in a way that did not say that having a list was indicative of either problem. A list can exacerbate a problem; it also can work for the reverse - getting focused. To those of us who have a long experience with Reconciliation (mine is about 6 and a half decades) have likely gained the focus you speak of.

Having worked with people entering the Church, I know that some come in feeling they need to present chapter, line, verse, and the third hair on the dog. As you, I, and phil19034 all understand, 'tain’t necessarily so.
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I think what you are describing is really simple common courtesy.

If someone is routinely having 15-20 minute confessions, they should be making an appointment with father. Plain and simple.

But keep in mind that when someone making their first confession in years, it’s going to take a while, and chances are they didn’t make an appointment. Keep that in mind and rejoice that they are going to confession.

If a parish constantly has this problem of long confessions, then perhaps it might be prudent to speak to Father about offering more scheduled Confession times: during the week, before/after mass, scheduling multiple priests to hear Confessions at same time, etc.

God Bless
 
phil19034 said:
I think what you are describing is really simple common courtesy.

If someone is routinely having 15-20 minute confessions, they should be making an appointment with father. Plain and simple.

But keep in mind that when someone making their first confession in years, it’s going to take a while, and chances are they didn’t make an appointment. Keep that in mind and rejoice that they are going to confession.

If a parish constantly has this problem of long confessions, then perhaps it might be prudent to speak to Father about offering more scheduled Confession times: during the week, before/after mass, scheduling multiple priests to hear Confessions at same time, etc.

God Bless
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And may He bless you generously!
 
I never take a list of sins because it would be lengthy and I find that when listing them, I include picayune things. “I once took a dollar from my brother when I was six years old…”.

I simply ask the Holy Spirit to give me a rough idea and guide me through. Sure I may remember something I left out, but I try to hold it to next time even though I know that it has been forgiven.
 
phil19034 said:
I think what you are describing is really simple common courtesy.

If someone is routinely having 15-20 minute confessions, they should be making an appointment with father. Plain and simple.

But keep in mind that when someone making their first confession in years, it’s going to take a while, and chances are they didn’t make an appointment. Keep that in mind and rejoice that they are going to confession.
**
If a parish constantly has this problem of long confessions, then perhaps it might be prudent to speak to Father about offering more scheduled Confession times: during the week, before/after mass, scheduling multiple priests to hear Confessions at same time, etc.**

God Bless
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If a parish is consistently having a problem with long confessions, chances are it is the priest and not the penitents that are causing them to be long. My confessions last 10 minutes or longer when I come at the regularly scheduled times. So it is with most everyone. If I make an appointment or if nobody else is waiting, it’s been known to last 45 minutes. Ok, that was just once… but 20 minutes or more is not uncommon. It isn’t always the penitent. But the suggestion to add confession times is excellent.
 
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