Can I choose when and how to be Confirmed?

[Snowy]

I’m scheduled to get the Sacrament of Confirmation next Easter, and from what I’ve experienced in my parish during my Rite of Welcome and during an Anointing of the Sick, I’m scared of what might happen to me during confirmation. I don’t want the whole congregation to raise their arms and point them at me as in a séance of zombies, and I don’t want a bunch of old ladies to grope me when I’m being anointed.

1. Can I ask my parish priest to be confirmed quietly and properly?
2. Can I be confirmed by a monk and get a certificate that would be recorded then at my parish?

Thanks!

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’m scheduled to get the Sacrament of Confirmation next Easter, and from what I’ve experienced in my parish during my Rite of Welcome and during an Anointing of the Sick, I’m scared of what might happen to me during confirmation. I don’t want the whole congregation to raise their arms and point them at me as in a séance of zombies, and I don’t want a bunch of old ladies to grope me when I’m being anointed.

1. Can I ask my parish priest to be confirmed quietly and properly?
2. Can I be confirmed by a monk and get a certificate that would be recorded then at my parish?

Thanks!

You can request that you be Confirmed by the Bishop himself, that is your right. You mention the Rite of Welcome so it is assumed that you are already validly Baptized. You could receive HOly Communkion and wait for the Bishop to come to your parish or a near-by parish for Confirmation, yes that is possible. Since Candidates for full union do not have to be Received, actually should not be received, at the Easter Vigil.

 

[Snowy]

You can request that you be Confirmed by the Bishop himself, that is your right. You mention the Rite of Welcome so it is assumed that you are already validly Baptized. You could receive HOly Communkion and wait for the Bishop to come to your parish or a near-by parish for Confirmation, yes that is possible. Since Candidates for full union do not have to be Received, actually should not be received, at the Easter Vigil.

Thank you, brother Rich. I don’t know what you mean by “full union” and to “be Received”, and whether what you said about candidates that should not be received at Easter applies to me. I had my 1st. Communion over 30 years ago and have been receiving Communion again for the last 2 weeks. I spend my Sunday mornings at RCIA drawing pictures of Jesus with crayons and stuff like that (no catechism) to show good faith, but I’d rather be with my family.

 

[quiet52]

Why is your group drawing pictures of Jesus? rather – have you asked why?

Anyway, as a Catholic who has already received your first Eucharist as a child, you should not have told to participate in the Rite of Welcoming.

I’m scheduled to get the Sacrament of Confirmation next Easter, and from what I’ve experienced in my parish during my Rite of Welcome and during an Anointing of the Sick, I’m scared of what might happen to me during confirmation. I don’t want the whole congregation to raise their arms and point them at me as in a séance of zombies, and I don’t want a bunch of old ladies to grope me when I’m being anointed.

What makes you think this is what happens during Confirmation? No – the whole congregation is not to raise their arms. Only the bishop or his delegate, or your pastor on Easter or Pentecost or when he is given permission by the bishop, may raise hands over you, and anoint you.

Groping by others is also not part of the rite. In fact groping isn’t part of the Rite of Welcoming or Anointing of the Sick either.

1. Can I ask my parish priest to be confirmed quietly and properly?

Confirmation is not a private ceremony. Seems like you’ve got some huge trust issues?
The only exception would be if someone who desires to be confirmed (and is properly prepared) is homebound. Special permission can be obtained through the bishop’s office for his delegate to confirm him or her. It might not even be the pastor.

1. Can I be confirmed by a monk and get a certificate that would be recorded then at my parish?

Definitely not, if the monk is not a priest.
Confirmation is normally administered by the bishop. However, a pastor is given permission by the bishop to give the rites of initiation (Baptism, Confirmation and First Eucharist) to a non-baptized person, or Confirmation and First Eucharist to a baptized non-Catholic throughout the year, but usually at Easter. Catholic teens and adults who are only being confirmed are generally confirmed by the bishop or his delegate, though in some dioceses pastors are allowed to confirm Catholics on Easter, sometimes on Pentecost.

 

[Phemie]

Why is your group drawing pictures of Jesus? rather – have you asked why?

Anyway, as a Catholic who has already received your first Eucharist as a child, you should not have told to participate in the Rite of Welcoming.

That should give you an idea of what things are like at his parish. The last time we had an adult, Catholic candidate, she was prepared privately and confirmed when the bishop came to town for the children’s confirmation – in fact, she and her 8 eight year old were both confirmed.

What makes you think this is what happens during Confirmation? No – the whole congregation is not to raise their arms. Only the bishop or his delegate, or your pastor on Easter or Pentecost or when he is given permission by the bishop, may raise hands over you, and anoint you.

Groping by others is also not part of the rite. In fact groping isn’t part of the Rite of Welcoming or Anointing of the Sick either.

The OP stated that he has seen this happen at his parish and doesn’t want the same treatment.

 

[Snowy]

Thank you, Quiet52, I’ll answer with red type.

Why is your group drawing pictures of Jesus? rather – have you asked why?

To hang on a wall so we can visualize Him when we pray! (I was told this, there’s things I’d rather not ask so that my tone of voice doesn’t betray my annoyance.)

Anyway, as a Catholic who has already received your first Eucharist as a child, you should not have told to participate in the Rite of Welcoming.

I was asked to participate and told that I wasn’t required to do so. I accepted to show good faith.

What makes you think this is what happens during Confirmation? No – the whole congregation is not to raise their arms. Only the bishop or his delegate, or your pastor on Easter or Pentecost or when he is given permission by the bishop, may raise hands over you, and anoint you.

Groping by others is also not part of the rite. In fact groping isn’t part of the Rite of Welcoming or Anointing of the Sick either.

If the whole congregation raises their arms during the Rite of Welcome and the Anointing of the Sick, and the anointed get groped by old ladies, I’m smart enough to see what’s coming next Easter.

Confirmation is not a private ceremony. Seems like you’ve got some huge trust issues?
The only exception would be if someone who desires to be confirmed (and is properly prepared) is homebound. Special permission can be obtained through the bishop’s office for his delegate to confirm him or her. It might not even be the pastor.

I trust priests when they stick to the script. I don’t trust laypeople who like to play priests. I don’t judge my priest for doing what he does, but I feel like I have the right to avoid being in the receiving end of funky sacramental practices.

Definitely not, if the monk is not a priest.
Confirmation is normally administered by the bishop. However, a pastor is given permission by the bishop to give the rites of initiation (Baptism, Confirmation and First Eucharist) to a non-baptized person, or Confirmation and First Eucharist to a baptized non-Catholic throughout the year, but usually at Easter. Catholic teens and adults who are only being confirmed are generally confirmed by the bishop or his delegate, though in some dioceses pastors are allowed to confirm Catholics on Easter, sometimes on Pentecost.

What if the monk is a priest?

 

[Snowy]

Thanks, Phemie, I couldn’t have answered better myself!

My bishop’s cathedral is only 10 miles away. Can I go to the cathedral’s office and ask there to be confirmed?

 

[Phemie]

Thanks, Phemie, I couldn’t have answered better myself!

My bishop’s cathedral is only 10 miles away. Can I go to the cathedral’s office and ask there to be confirmed?

There’s no harm in inquiring but it might set a precedent that the bishop doesn’t want to set.

OTOH, you have concerns about what’s happening in your parish and you have every right to bring those to the bishop’s attention.

 

[1ke]

Snowy, if you are a Catholic seeking only to complete your Sacraments of Initiation with Confirmation then the Bishop is the one who confirms you unless your pastor gets special permission to confirm you. Priests do not have the faculties to confirm Catholics, only non-Catholics candidates and catechumens.

I would inquire with the diocese about adult confirmation and when the Bishop will be doing confirmation.

 

[Seatuck]

Snowy, if you are a Catholic seeking only to complete your Sacraments of Initiation with Confirmation then the Bishop is the one who confirms you unless your pastor gets special permission to confirm you. Priests do not have the faculties to confirm Catholics, only non-Catholics candidates and catechumens.

I would inquire with the diocese about adult confirmation and when the Bishop will be doing confirmation.

Are you sure the Bishop doesn’t have the right to give faculties in this area? I’ve seen confirmations of adults who were baptized Catholics multiple times.

 

[1ke]

Are you sure the Bishop doesn’t have the right to give faculties in this area? I’ve seen confirmations of adults who were baptized Catholics multiple times.

I stated in my post that the priest can get permission to confirm a Catholic.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thank you, brother Rich. I don’t know what you mean by “full union” and to “be Received”, and whether what you said about candidates that should not be received at Easter applies to me. I had my 1st. Communion over 30 years ago and have been receiving Communion again for the last 2 weeks. I spend my Sunday mornings at RCIA drawing pictures of Jesus with crayons and stuff like that (no catechism) to show good faith, but I’d rather be with my family.

Ok, I of course don’t know your specific situation, but something does not seem right, If you were Baptized Catholic and received your First Holy Communion, you are either a Catholic needing Confirmation or a returning Catholic (if you left the Church for some reason). You have ben reconciled and are receiving Holy Communion again. In either case you do not belong in RCIA, should have never have participated in the Rite of Welcome (not that it hurt anything).

You should be preparing to be Confirmed when the Bishop come to your parish or a near-by parish.

 

[puzzleannie]

. I don’t want the whole congregation to raise their arms and point them at me as in a séance of zombies, and I don’t want a bunch of old ladies to grope me when I’m being anointed.

1. Can I ask my parish priest to be confirmed quietly and properly?
2. Can I be confirmed by a monk and get a certificate that would be recorded then at my parish?

Thanks!

I have been working with the RCIA for 20 years and have never seen what you describe, not even remotely.

the bishop decides when, where and by whom you will be confirmed, he has set the rules for his diocese in conformity with canon law. Sacraments of the church are part of the liturgy, the public worship of the Church so as a rule there are no private sacraments. Even in confession, the priest represents the whole Church as well as Christ, so the Church is present.

If you are already baptized, the norm for RCIA is that you be confirmed at a time other than the Easter Vigil, but there are some places where both catechumens and candidates are initiated at Easter.

If you want a clearer picture of what will be happening during the rites, just ask your catechist or director. If you are afflicted with a severe anxiety in such public situations, speak to your pastor now, he will do everything possible to make this a comfortable and joyous occasion.

If you are already Catholic and simply preparing for Confirmation you should not be in RCIA at all, although for the classroom portion of your preparation you may be studying with some who are unbaptized or non-Catholic. In this diocese the priest does NOT have faculty to confirm Catholic adults at Easter, and they are confirmed by the bishop either when he visits the parish to confirm youth, or at a special celebration for confirmation of adults at the cathedral. In case of necessity, and if someone truly has a medical or other good reason that would pertain, the bishop can give a priest the faculty to confirm that invidual at a time and place he determines.

Best course is to make an appointment with the priest to discuss your concerns.

 

[kage_ar]

The term “grope” as in “groped by old ladies” is reference to sexual touching. In charity, unless there IS sexual touching taking place during the things you describe, please use a different term.

 

[Snowy]

The term “grope” as in “groped by old ladies” is reference to sexual touching. In charity, unless there IS sexual touching taking place during the things you describe, please use a different term.

There was no sexual touching, I apologize. I’d describe it as “one notch above a mere laying on of hands”, or “a laying on of hands of a different nature as the priest’s” or “more grandmotherly than priestly”. Either way, I didn’t sign up for that when I came back to the church, and since it’s against the official script, I should not have to be subjected to it.

Thanks for you all’s help, it was very helpful.