Can I confess to another priest to avoid judgment from my priest?

[Glorthac]

OK, I’m in the process of entering the Church, and I know I’ve gotta confess my sins sometime, at least before my first Communion. But I, like most people, am ashamed of my sins, and I don’t wanna confess because of that.

Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

 

[LilyM]

Being that it’s your first confession, this one time I say confess to another priest if it’ll make it easier for you.

I wouldn’t make a habit of avoiding confession because you’re worried about what the priest will think of you, though - not unless he’s already proven himself to be incredibly rude or uncharitable.

I’d be more worried about a priest who gave obviously erroneous advice (along the lines of saying that adultery is OK or something) - those ones (and the occasional one does exist) I avoid like the plague.

 

[Elijah_Baley]

I don’t have an answer to your question directly. I do know two things, and someone please correct me if I’m wrong.

I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

1. If he does, he’s excommunicated.
2. Priests who hear confession have heard a lot. Unless your sins are particularly inventive, I don’t think he’d be surprised.

 

[Rafaela]

I can relate to your feelings. I went to my first confession a week before Easter the year I entered the church. In our parish that day is always a liturgy where is several priests whom hear confessions and the organ is playing so that you cant hear what people are saying. I did not go to the priest whom lead the RCIA but instead to a younger priest whom is known for being very charitable. I was very ashamed of my sins at that time as well. Best of luck.

 

[RB2]

OK, I’m in the process of entering the Church, and I know I’ve gotta confess my sins sometime, at least before my first Communion. But I, like most people, am ashamed of my sins, and I don’t wanna confess because of that.

Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

A generalized reply:

1. Its not recommended.

2), no church law forbids you from picking and choosing your confessor whether its 100 different confessors in 100 days, in different dioceses or whatever.

1. I did it for years for a problem I couldnt quit.
   Although I never resorted to disguising my voice, I did seek out different confessors out of shame.
2. employ whatever strategy you can to get to confession…thats whats importante’.

 

[Totterman]

Jesus,our Lords peace be with You.
Sorry for my bad english,dear friend. Of course You can,but the priest is not there to judge You. What he do is to hear Your confession “In Christi Persona”,and he also forgive the sins not by himself but once again “In Christi Persona”. Like You would confess Your sins to Jesus trhu him. Confession is a sacrament,and the priest can’t start behaving different with You then he has from the begining. You have nothing to worry about,nothing to fear,and when it comes to judgement,God is the judge,but our sins is what judge us,do what is right,and God wont judge You. And welcome to the Catholic Church,as a priest from my parish,now he is the Bishop of Helsinki dioce,said to me once,"it is hard to be a catholic,but so rewarding"and it is.

 

[streetpreacher]

Any priest will do any time, never feel you have to remain with just one for this or other Sacraments, it’s the same church on this side of the US as it is for Zimbabwea, same Sacraments, same, everything.

No need to lecture on the process or their roll and all, just saying, don’t let this become something that hangs you up over it.

 

[tobbias88]

Of course you can.

Which reminds of this story.
After Kevin had make his first & embarrassing First Confession he walked thankly back to his seat only to hear the priest shout after him.

‘Hey Kevin, tell your mom, I’ll be a bit late for lunch.’

 

[reaganjn]

i was once in your shoes. i came into the church this easter with my 10 year old daughter. and me just thinking about confessing to a priest literally made me want to vomit. i was sooooo ashamed of my sins. i have done some horrific stuff before i got married and had children. (i didnt kill anyone) but i know the priests have heard worse. but the burden of my sins was soo great on my shoulders i couldnt breathe. so i went to confession with the help of my rcia director. she talked with the priest about me doing my confession before i was supposed to. and he said to me “you know when its time to confess, you dont have to rely on a schedule.” so after mass it was on a wednesday. he took me to the confessional. at first i couldnt get anything to come out of my mouth, and all of sudden i broke down and cried and told everything that i could remember that was on my chest. and he looked at me with the warmest smile, like the priest wasnt really there at all…it was a glowing smile of Jesus. i felt this warmth inside me all of sudden. i didnt feel soo cold inside anymore. he just listened to me go on and on. he didnt make me say the act of contrition, but he talked to me like a friend. then he absolved me from my sins, and i asked if he was going to give me a penance and he said “no, you have punished yourself enough!” and he gave me the best hug ever. he then said to me “if you remember anything else, or just need to talk, i am always here for you!” i walked to my car soo lightfooted, that i just cried, and it was an amazing cry. now im tearing up thinking about it. lol i actually love going to confession now. now my youngest daughter will be saying her first confession this january. she is going to have her first communion this may, and i am soo happy for her.

please dont be afraid to go to confession with anyone. you will be amazed how your priest will react. and he is sworn to secrecy and will NOT treat you any differently. i thought the same way too. actually i also thought i would be damned to hell by my priest. my mom and mother in law asked me how many Hail Mary’s i had to say…i told them NONE!!!

 

[m134e5]

OK, I’m in the process of entering the Church, and I know I’ve gotta confess my sins sometime, at least before my first Communion. But I, like most people, am ashamed of my sins, and I don’t wanna confess because of that.

Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

Short answer- if you are able to go to confession, you may go to any priest who is allowed to hear confessions.

While you *may *go to any priest who can hear confessions, avoiding certain ones because you don’t want them to know how bad you’ve been can be a sign of pride. It’s been my experience that the priest typically isn’t angry or shocked by what he hears- more than anything else, he’s impressed with the courage of the penitent, and is grateful that a sinner wants to be reconciled with God.

 

[1ke]

OK, I’m in the process of entering the Church, and I know I’ve gotta confess my sins sometime, at least before my first Communion. But I, like most people, am ashamed of my sins, and I don’t wanna confess because of that.

Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

Before getting too concerned about it, first talk to your RCIA coordinator about it.

Typically the coordinator will schedule first confession for everyone entering the church. so, if you go with a group of others, and when your turn go behind the screen anonymously, the priest won’t know who you are.

If you are in a small parish and the only person making a first confession, then discuss your concerns with your priest or coordinator.

 

[ConstantineTG]

OK, I’m in the process of entering the Church, and I know I’ve gotta confess my sins sometime, at least before my first Communion. But I, like most people, am ashamed of my sins, and I don’t wanna confess because of that.

Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

Yes, you may confess to any priest with faculties in any Catholic parish of any Catholic Rite.

Now with issues with your priest, you shouldn’t be worried. I know I for one as much as possible avoid going to confession in my own parish. But I know its my personal issue.

One more thing, I’m not sure if this will affect your entry into the Church. Since you will be given first Communion, shouldn’t the priest absolutely know you confessed prior to? Although you can inform that you went for confession with someone else.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Before getting too concerned about it, first talk to your RCIA coordinator about it.

Typically the coordinator will schedule first confession for everyone entering the church. so, if you go with a group of others, and when your turn go behind the screen anonymously, the priest won’t know who you are.

If you are in a small parish and the only person making a first confession, then discuss your concerns with your priest or coordinator.

Good advice. I know you are worried about it OP…I was too…but now I’m glad I went to my parish priest. He is the one that knows what I’ve been through…and he can give me great advice on avoid those sins in the future. Most priest will say that they do not remember most confessions…I think they are too busy praying for us and concentrating on being Christ in persona that they honestly don’t remember…which I think is a gift for them too.

 

[Newbie2]

A generalized reply:

1. Its not recommended.

2), no church law forbids you from picking and choosing your confessor whether its 100 different confessors in 100 days, in different dioceses or whatever.

1. I did it for years for a problem I couldnt quit.
   Although I never resorted to disguising my voice, I did seek out different confessors out of shame.
2. employ whatever strategy you can to get to confession…thats whats importante’.

Not to derail the thead, but has anyone done that, disguising their voice in confession? Beleive me, I completely understand why someone would consider doing that, even though I’ve always done face-to-face confession.

Not to make light of anyone’s shame, but…um…what type of voice did you use? Yoda? Muppet voice? Lower pitch? Higher? Using a foreign accent?

Again, I completely understand the want to do so, but at the same time part of me starts to snicker when I think of someone doing so. Guess I watch too much Monty Python.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

Not to derail the thead, but has anyone done that, disguising their voice in confession? Beleive me, I completely understand why someone would consider doing that, even though I’ve always done face-to-face confession.

Not to make light of anyone’s shame, but…um…what type of voice did you use? Yoda? Muppet voice? Lower pitch? Higher? Using a foreign accent?

Again, I completely understand the want to do so, but at the same time part of me starts to snicker when I think of someone doing so. Guess I watch too much Monty Python.

I don’t know if it is permitted but now I am curious. Can you use something like a Darth Vader voice changer or maybe speak like a pirate? ARRRR it be 30 days since me last confession. It would seem to make light of the sacrament and I would be afraid that the priest couldn’t take me seriously.

 

[dconklin]

While you *may *go to any priest who can hear confessions, avoiding certain ones because you don’t want them to know how bad you’ve been can be a sign of pride. It’s been my experience that the priest typically isn’t angry or shocked by what he hears- more than anything else, he’s impressed with the courage of the penitent, and is grateful that a sinner wants to be reconciled with God.

Very true! My issue - and it is totally my issue - is that I am on staff at a parish. For most people, they confess to someone that may see them sitting in Mass. It is a whole new level of self-imposed discomfort when you work daily with the priest.

 

[Newbie2]

I don’t know if it is permitted but now I am curious. Can you use something like a Darth Vader voice changer or maybe speak like a pirate? ARRRR it be 30 days since me last confession. It would seem to make light of the sacrament and I would be afraid that the priest couldn’t take me seriously.

Pirate.



Forgive me. I tried harrrrrrrrrrrd not to sin.

But seriously, does anyone really disguise their voice? I understand why someone like dconklin’s situation would be uncomfortable confessing to their own priest.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Short answer- if you are able to go to confession, you may go to any priest who is allowed to hear confessions.

While you *may *go to any priest who can hear confessions, avoiding certain ones because you don’t want them to know how bad you’ve been can be a sign of pride. It’s been my experience that the priest typically isn’t angry or shocked by what he hears- more than anything else, he’s impressed with the courage of the penitent, and is grateful that a sinner wants to be reconciled with God.

Not a sign of pride but a sign of true guilt. In a way its good we feel ashamed because we acknowledge what we did is wrong and are afraid someone we know will find out.

 

[Havard]

Pirate.



Forgive me. I tried harrrrrrrrrrrd not to sin.

But seriously, does anyone really disguise their voice? I understand why someone like dconklin’s situation would be uncomfortable confessing to their own priest.

I know I naturally talk a lot more softly in the confessional, mainly because even with the confessional door closed, it’s so quiet inside the church around that time that you could hear a pin drop.

 

[Elizium23]

In my parish, the priest always activates a little machine that creates white noise and diffuses any sound of voices that may emanate from the confessionals.

I was under the impression that the original impetus for placing a fixed grate between priest and penitent is to prevent physical contact. In other words, it was created to prevent sexual abuse and allegations thereof. The privacy of the grate seems almost secondary to this. Unfortunately, in my own parish and many others, the grate does not completely separate me from the priest, but there is also an open space for face-to-face confessions. It kind of defeats the purpose.