Can I confess to another priest to avoid judgment from my priest?

[Oneofthewomen]

Very true! My issue - and it is totally my issue - is that I am on staff at a parish. For most people, they confess to someone that may see them sitting in Mass. It is a whole new level of self-imposed discomfort when you work daily with the priest.

I can so relate to this!!
I work for my Diocese, and I am aquainted with, to varying degrees, most of the priests who serve in my area!
If you ever want to vent about the challenges of working for the Church and maintaining a healthy spirituality,drop me a PM!

To the OP-
I so get where you are coming from!!
Talk to someone…
your priest, the RCIA Coordinator, who ever you are most comforatable with,
be honest about your concerns, and all will work out.
God will make sure of it!!

 

[ConstantineTG]

If you’re Byzantine Catholic, you not only have to be face to face with the priest but you’ll be in front of everyone else as you are making your confession in front of the Icon of Christ on the Iconostasis.

Our parish too doesn’t have a confession box. Although the priest is trying to gather funds to have at least one made. So right now he just sits on a chair with a kneeler beside it. I know you can raise it to make a screen but its still open.

 

[CountrySinger]

When I go to Confession, I get nervous, so my Southern accent really comes out! So the priest is probably like, “who is this Southern girl who comes once a month? Do people have accents like that in Seattle?” And no one is wiser.

 

[ConstantineTG]

When I go to Confession, I get nervous, so my Southern accent really comes out! So the priest is probably like, “who is this Southern girl who comes once a month? Do people have accents like that in Seattle?” And no one is wiser.

Good idea. Time to bring out my thick Filipino accent
Only, we don’t have a screen. The priest will look at me and ask, “what are you doing?!”

 

[atara]

i was once in your shoes. i came into the church this easter with my 10 year old daughter. and me just thinking about confessing to a priest literally made me want to vomit. i was sooooo ashamed of my sins. i have done some horrific stuff before i got married and had children. (i didnt kill anyone) but i know the priests have heard worse. but the burden of my sins was soo great on my shoulders i couldnt breathe. so i went to confession with the help of my rcia director. she talked with the priest about me doing my confession before i was supposed to. and he said to me “you know when its time to confess, you dont have to rely on a schedule.” so after mass it was on a wednesday. he took me to the confessional. at first i couldnt get anything to come out of my mouth, and all of sudden i broke down and cried and told everything that i could remember that was on my chest. and he looked at me with the warmest smile, like the priest wasnt really there at all…it was a glowing smile of Jesus. i felt this warmth inside me all of sudden. i didnt feel soo cold inside anymore. he just listened to me go on and on. he didnt make me say the act of contrition, but he talked to me like a friend. then he absolved me from my sins, and i asked if he was going to give me a penance and he said “no, you have punished yourself enough!” and he gave me the best hug ever. he then said to me “if you remember anything else, or just need to talk, i am always here for you!” i walked to my car soo lightfooted, that i just cried, and it was an amazing cry. now im tearing up thinking about it. lol i actually love going to confession now. now my youngest daughter will be saying her first confession this january. she is going to have her first communion this may, and i am soo happy for her.

please dont be afraid to go to confession with anyone. you will be amazed how your priest will react. and he is sworn to secrecy and will NOT treat you any differently.!

You made me cry. I’m going through the same fears.:hug3:

 

[Philomeena]

i was once in your shoes. i came into the church this easter with my 10 year old daughter. and me just thinking about confessing to a priest literally made me want to vomit. i was sooooo ashamed of my sins. i have done some horrific stuff before i got married and had children. (i didnt kill anyone) but i know the priests have heard worse. but the burden of my sins was soo great on my shoulders i couldnt breathe. so i went to confession with the help of my rcia director. she talked with the priest about me doing my confession before i was supposed to. and he said to me “you know when its time to confess, you dont have to rely on a schedule.” so after mass it was on a wednesday. he took me to the confessional. at first i couldnt get anything to come out of my mouth, and all of sudden i broke down and cried and told everything that i could remember that was on my chest. and he looked at me with the warmest smile, like the priest wasnt really there at all…it was a glowing smile of Jesus. i felt this warmth inside me all of sudden. i didnt feel soo cold inside anymore. he just listened to me go on and on. he didnt make me say the act of contrition, but he talked to me like a friend. then he absolved me from my sins, and i asked if he was going to give me a penance and he said “no, you have punished yourself enough!” and he gave me the best hug ever. he then said to me “if you remember anything else, or just need to talk, i am always here for you!” i walked to my car soo lightfooted, that i just cried, and it was an amazing cry. now im tearing up thinking about it. lol i actually love going to confession now. now my youngest daughter will be saying her first confession this january. she is going to have her first communion this may, and i am soo happy for her.

please dont be afraid to go to confession with anyone. you will be amazed how your priest will react. and he is sworn to secrecy and will NOT treat you any differently. i thought the same way too. actually i also thought i would be damned to hell by my priest. my mom and mother in law asked me how many Hail Mary’s i had to say…i told them NONE!!!

Thank you for posting this-I had a very similar experience and I hope anyone in our former shoes is comforted by this.
There is nothing that makes me feel more loved by Christ than the Sacrament of Reconciliation!!!

 

[Joannm]

I can so relate to this!!
I work for my Diocese, and I am aquainted with, to varying degrees, most of the priests who serve in my area!
If you ever want to vent about the challenges of working for the Church and maintaining a healthy spirituality,drop me a PM!

To the OP-
I so get where you are coming from!!
Talk to someone…
your priest, the RCIA Coordinator, who ever you are most comforatable with,
be honest about your concerns, and all will work out.
God will make sure of it!!

I work for the Church as well but made it a rule never to confess to someone I work with…that was until I started woking in the parish where my regular confessor was an associate. But I figured that was OK because the day I confessed one of the worst sins I ever did he told me about the job in his parish and recommended me to the pastor. So I guess it didn’t matter what I confessed. But still, now that he is gone somewhere else, I went back to the rule of not confessing to anyone I work with and still go to him.

 

[Kennywood]

What a good discussion! Each of you has blessed me this morning with your words. I think reaganjm nailed it. I can get myself pretty worked up over such things, but always, always, Reconciliation itself goes way better than the thoughts beforehand.

I wanted to say something about the face-to-face discussion. Growing up in the northeast, every Church had big, dark confessionals with a screen (ONLY for privacy. I don’t think we build Churches anticipating deviant sins) or a chair (face to face).

Now I live in the south. Our own particular Church is a rented school cafeteria. There won’t be any confessionals in the new sanctuary, either. I could drive to another . . .their confessionals are glass cubes. . . get the picture? (literally)

 

[puzzleannie]

OK,
Anyway, I’m wondering, can I confess to another priest besides my own in order to avoid judgment from my priest? I’m not afraid to confess to a priest, just I’m afraid to confess to my priest who might (and I know he probably won’t) judge me and treat me differently.

no priest including your own pastor is going to judge you or treat you differently, or even remember what you say once you are outside the confessional. period.

 

[Sandra_Brown]

Canon 21 of the 12th Ecumenical Council: Lateran IV states

“But if anyone for a good reason should wish to confess his sins to another priest, let him first seek and obtain permission from his own (parish) priest, since otherwise he (the other priest) cannot loose or bind him.”

Has this been changed? If it has, it seems like one could repeatedly commit the same offense and seek out a different priest each time to confess.

 

[laszlo]

It is very unlikely that you can say anything what would surprise your priests.

Still you are permitted to go to any priest for confession.