Can i date someone who is divorced?

[HeWillProvide]

Can I date someone who is divorced?
He didn’t have an annulment - does that mean he is still “married” and, so, if I date him, I’m really making him “cheat”?

 

[1ke]

Can I date someone who is divorced?
He didn’t have an annulment - does that mean he is still “married” and, so, if I date him, I’m really making him “cheat”?

You cannot date someone who is not free to marry. A divorced person with no decree of nullity is still married to their prior spouse and NOT free to marry.

 

[Bookcat]

The presumption is that the person is in fact married…until determined by the Church otherwise.

So thus one would approach them basically as one would another married person.

(Now of course could be perhaps other aspects that can come into the question…such as he was married to his sister…or is a Catholic who got married outside of the Church then there can be other …in which case one can seek more advice from a Priest etc…and of course seek the annulment)

 

[bbentrup]

Can I date someone who is divorced?
He didn’t have an annulment - does that mean he is still “married” and, so, if I date him, I’m really making him “cheat”?

There is one exception called the Pauline Privilege. You can check out the Catholic Encyclopedia article on the subject (scroll halfway down the page). It only applies to a person who, while validly married, is married to someone who is 1) not a validly baptized Christian and 2) harming the marriage by rejection of the Christian faith in various ways.

If your putative boyfriend was married to a non-Christian (we’re not talking merely non-Catholic) whose lack of faith or rejection of the faith, in part, destroyed their marriage, then that man is free to remarry.

Caveat: that’s the general idea, and I may be wrong in my specifics. Please check with a canon lawyer to make sure, both of the concept, and how the rule applies to him.

If that doesn’t work out, you would have to wait for an annulment or his wife’s death for it to be permissible to date. Technically, you could probably have a platonic friendship, but these are fraught with danger and are probably discouraged under most circumstances.

I will offer a prayer for the three of you. God bless!

 

[1ke]

There is one exception called the Pauline Privilege. You can check out the Catholic Encyclopedia article on the subject (scroll halfway down the page). It only applies to a person who, while validly married, is married to someone who is 1) not a validly baptized Christian and 2) harming the marriage by rejection of the Christian faith in various ways.

If your putative boyfriend was married to a non-Christian (we’re not talking merely non-Catholic) whose lack of faith or rejection of the faith, in part, destroyed their marriage, then that man is free to remarry.

Caveat: that’s the general idea, and I may be wrong in my specifics. Please check with a canon lawyer to make sure, both of the concept, and how the rule applies to him.

If that doesn’t work out, you would have to wait for an annulment or his wife’s death for it to be permissible to date. Technically, you could probably have a platonic friendship, but these are fraught with danger and are probably discouraged under most circumstances.

I will offer a prayer for the three of you. God bless!

While the Pauline or Petrine Privilege might be used in some circumstances to dissolve a marriage, she is still NOT free to date a person who has not been declared free to marry by the Catholic Church, either through the nullity process or the dissolution of the bond in limited circumstances.

 

[Rascalking]

Sadly not. While you could (theoretically, I guess) date them, you couldn’t marry them-which is the purpose of dating, so why bother on someone who can’t date?

Has this person tried for an annulment?

 

[bbentrup]

Contrary to my post above, it appears as if both parties need to be non-Christian for the Pauline Privilege to be applied. (That’s the way I remembered it previously, but in my quick refresher in the Encyclopedia, I wasn’t seeing it.)

Yes, getting the Church to recognize the man’s freedom to marry is an important first step regardless. You don’t want to be involved in a situation where you think he is ok to remarry, but, in fact, is not.

To the OP: even if he thinks he or his (ex-)wife were Christian, it wouldn’t hurt to get it checked, as many baptismal formulas used by various sects are invalid, and this alone, if true, would likely (I’m guessing here) be enough to satisfy the requirement with regards to that party being a non-Christian. God bless!

 

[themeginthemoon]

Can I date someone who is divorced?
He didn’t have an annulment - does that mean he is still “married” and, so, if I date him, I’m really making him “cheat”?

Yes. You are committing adultery and so is he.

 

[puzzleannie]

Can I date someone who is divorced?
He didn’t have an annulment - does that mean he is still “married” and, so, if I date him, I’m really making him “cheat”?

you cannot date a divorced person much less get romantically involved, engaged or married because he is presumed to be validly married unless or until a canon law investigation proves otherwise. Civil divorce does not and cannot end or dissolve a valid marriage. He is a married man. “pauline privilege” or any other exception have nothing to do with it. Until a Catholic canon law tribunal investigates and renders a judgment that the marriage was not valid, through any of the possible reasons, he is not dating material.

No you are not committing adultery (yet) if by dating you mean in the generally accepted social sense of sharing mutual activities (outside the bedroom). If you mean the other cultural sense of casual sex with some one outside marriage, yes it is adultery.

 

[Newbie2]

Sadly not. While you could (theoretically, I guess) date them, you couldn’t marry them-which is the purpose of dating, so why bother on someone who can’t date?

Has this person tried for an annulment?

Not really. It’s dating a married person unless there never was a marriage in the first place.