Was there nothing else in the house that could have been eaten instead? Could your husband have easily gone back out and picked up something else for tonight (keeping in mind that in some parts of the U.S. weather might have made this option not feasible)? Could you have made a meal out of the sides and wrapped the chicken for tomorrow (if not for yourself, then for your husband and children)?
These are questions I think are more appropriate to be asking yourself, rather than whether you could choose to do something else instead. Of course you can be extra-kind to a friend. The real question here is whether you made a sincere effort to find a reasonable alternative before choosing to eat something you knew you should not eat on Ash Wednesday. If you did make a reasonable effort to find a legitimate alternative and could not come up with one, then you gave due diligence and should not scruple further over eating what was available. If you merely shrugged and ate the chicken, then that might be something to consider confessing.
