…
The problem is… the courts also take the same attitude. So then when your kids are put into the mix, YOU are accused of “alienation of affections” because of course kids can’t see for themselves and you must have turned them against a parent.
It all ends up making you hopeless.
Did you describe to the priest your husband refusing to close the door so your children are exposed to him dressing?
Sometimes men sit and feel sorry for each other and project how they feel when they find themselves looking at a woman inappropriately. Your husband played Father like a fiddle.
Make sure your daughters are in with counselors. That testimony from a professional can be very helpful in court.
If it comes to that.
TRUE…
I normally don’t read these threads. I probably don’t belong here anyway and I’m not Catholic.
The subject surprised me, It was very hard to read, made me both angry and sad. I know what it is like, not as the spouse, but as the child.
I hope to God these children did not experience the worse case scenario. You can remove the problem but the scar is always there, and the memories. The offender doesn’t care because they do not feel or think the same way normal people do. They can’t. Everything is fine as long as you don’t complain. That’s because they are vampires and your their mirror. They need you to see them as “perfect”. They are empty, needing your soul to
feed and to
feel.
When complimented they love the way they look, they like that reflection in the mirror your holding. They are master manipulators, their whole life is a masquerade. They cannot handle having the “perfect” mask ripped off.
All these references to parts in the post, it easier to abuse someone that has been reduced from a person or child to just “parts”. It’s dehumanizing.
And the girls will be angry, they tried to warn and no one listened. I know what that feels like. And how old is this man? And he works with kids? What makes anyone think he is no threat to another person’s child if he can look at his own flesh and blood that way? If there is a problem then it did not just start recently. It began a long time ago. Imagine being a parent of a child who was hurt by a man working with them, whose wife had her suspicions and said nothing to those in charge. They would have every right to be upset.
This is why people talk about the catholic church and sex abuse in the same sentences. The fundamentalists have a huge problem too and are good at covering it up or ignoring. They just make it go away and let the “problem” move on to new kids. In that circle they have their own terminology, it’s called **passing the trash. **
So what if he said he isn’t attracted to younger kids. How can anyone trust anything that comes out of his mouth? I’ve been abused by a preacher too who supposedly only liked teens… I was 6.
I got so sick reading that he danced around naked when the child was 2 or 3, to “draw her attention away”, or whatever the lame explanation was. HAH! Two words for you:
DANGLING PARTICIPLE.
The problem is… the courts also take the same attitude. So then when your kids are put into the mix, YOU are accused of “alienation of affections” because of course kids can’t see for themselves and you must have turned them against a parent.
True, without going into too much detail, I worked in an area closely related. Also In my state the parent is in deep caca if they suspected abuse and did nothing.
She didn’t see it before, she was brainwashed, but now she is healing and is seeing a little more clearly.
For God’s sake I pray those kids are already in counseling, protect them, protect the custody rights. Respect them, they may not want to confide in mom. Telling a professional outside party may be easier. Plus if a kid is used to putting on an act for the outside world and they speak about the unspeakable things that they HAD to pretend did not exist to stay sane, they are slammed hard with reality. It hurts and it sucks.
If I had parents I would not want them on his side. And of course he wants to buy a house nearby. Markets are bad, more of his assets will be tied up. and he can keep an eye on her, with the benefit of “perks”. He does not want her telling anyone what he looks like without the “mask.” He’s pulling the strings. Now he can keep track of what is being said, especially if she talks to parents about personal things.
Kids come first, staying could also destroy their faith especially if they have already prayed for help. It hurt mine, then I moved on to razorblades. I have a high tolerance to pain, but the cutting made me forget about the pain inside. What kind of God do people worship that they would honestly believe it is his will they stay, be abused, and live out miserable lives in a dark twisted hell on earth?
I will not post these lyrics, too intense for some, but go to this video and listen. The guy who wrote it is bi-polar, its for all those scarred by ones who wore a christian mask. It’s angry and full of pain. You don’t want your kids to end this way.
youtube.com/watch?v=qvihRTLeBLo
He is not going to change because he sees himself as “perfect”. The only way possible is with God and a wise counselor who can see and cut right through his BS. And it will take lots of time. People like him are good at saying what they think a person wants to hear.
Even if the worst hasn’t happened, it is bad enough as it is. Keep a journal, makes notes of phone conversations as well. Record too if possible. The other posters gave good advice, talk to a lawyer, be prepared, know your rights and protect those kids!
I have to go find my happy place now. May God heal you all.
:banghead: