Can I get confirmed if I disagree with the Church?

[j_kelsch]

I am a high school sophomore and preparing for Confirmation. I will be confirmed this April. I am ready to take the next step in my faith and accept Catholicism as my religion, not just the religion my parents gave me. I love being Catholic. However, there are a few issues with the Church that I do not agree with. I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

 

[rlg94086]

I am a high school sophomore and preparing for Confirmation. I will be confirmed this April. I am ready to take the next step in my faith and accept Catholicism as my religion, not just the religion my parents gave me. I love being Catholic. However, there are a few issues with the Church that I do not agree with. I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

In my understanding, you don’t have to understand and agree to everything, but I believe you do need to accept the authority and teaching of the Church. What this means in the case of gay marriage, is that you should accept the Church’s teaching, even if you don’t understand/agree with it. Since you are not a lesbian, this should not be too difficult for you. For someone who has homosexual desire, it means they would need to live as a celibate, since we are all called to chastity, and would not be allowed to marry.

Most importantly, I would take these questions to your pastor for counsel.

BTW…I applaud you on taking this very seriously. I explained to my son, who was confirmed last year, that I did not want him to go through confirmation if he did not believe. I know of other Catholic families who could care less about Church teaching, attendance, etc., but they make sure their kids do the bare minimum and get confirmed. It appears to be more of a cultural thing, rather than a true religious experience.

 

[Newbie2]

I am a high school sophomore and preparing for Confirmation. I will be confirmed this April. I am ready to take the next step in my faith and accept Catholicism as my religion, not just the religion my parents gave me. I love being Catholic. However, there are a few issues with the Church that I do not agree with. I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

First off, there is a distinct difference between accepting homosexual persons and accepting homosexual behavior and homosexual “marriage”. From you post, it’s not clear whether or not you understand or accept this distinction.

Second, the bible teaches that a marriage is between a man and a woman. You can’t just go picking through the bible to find evidence of things that you agree with and ignore the rest.

Thirdly, the Church teaches what is in line with Scripture, namely, that marriage is between a man and a woman and is one of our seven Catholic Sacraments.

If you do not accept this Catholic teaching on sacramental marriage, you should not be confirmed, at least at this time.

That being said, I think it would be best to speak with a priest, deacon or catechist instructor to clear up your disagreement on homosexual “marriage”. I think you’ll find that the Church teaches acceptance of all people, regardless of their “sexual orientation”, but also accepts scriptural direction that marriage is reserved between a man and a woman.

If then you can understand and accept Church teachings on the sacramental nature of marriage, then get confirmed!

 

[MomaMary8]

I am a high school sophomore and preparing for Confirmation. I will be confirmed this April. I am ready to take the next step in my faith and accept Catholicism as my religion, not just the religion my parents gave me. I love being Catholic. However, there are a few issues with the Church that I do not agree with. I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

I think it is wonderful that you are serious enough about your confirmation that you are questioning if you should be confirmed. My first suggestion is to pray upon it.

As a Catholic we are to accept the Church’s teachings, even when we don’t understand the position (which is the root cause for disagreement, in many cases). We may not become advocates for positions that would be anti-Catholic (you could not become a political activist promoting gay marriage, abortion, etc).

As you are finding as you grow, learning never stops. Even as adults we must continue our education about the teachings of the Church. I am still learning today, searching for answers to my questions of the faith. I must be humble when there is an issue that I have different thinking than the Church. I realize that Jesus established the Church to help teach me His Love/laws, and I must go to the Church to help me understand the teachings. I must not assume my position is better than the church, but ask why don’t I agree, why does the church teach something that doesn’t seem right?

On face value, love = good. God is Love, so why is homosexual love frowned upon? It is because the nature of the body and the way God intended us to use our bodies as a manifestation of His Love for us. Sex is not just something done between two people in love. It is a fullfillment and manifestation of God’s love for us. Just as there are specific parameters set in the prayers the priest uses in the Celebration of the Holy Eucharist, resulting in the transubstansiation, there are specific guidelines to sanctify the marital bond.

Here is a link for you and for your parents:

ascensionpress.com/shop/Scripts/prodList.asp?idCategory=73

Christopher West has a nice book for teenagers to understand the Church’s teachings about the Body and about Marriage. Once you understand the purpose of the marital bond, it will be easier for you to come to an understanding of the Church’s teachings about homosexual acts.

Questioning leads to answers, answers leads to understanding. Your difficult path as an adult will be to search out faithful answers to your questions by those who understand the Faith and not someone who just wants to give you an answer to make you happy. Having questions and searching for True answers will make the Faith, your faith.

Good luck on your spiritiual journey. It is a journey that takes a life time, long after you leave your Catholic Formation classes.

 

[Brendan]

I I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian.

You are permitted to believe that. The Church takes no position on the origins of homosexual tendencies.

Likewise, it takes no position on the source of alcholism.\

Science tells us that there are genetic dispositions towards both conditions.

So ask yourself this. If an alcoholic is similarlly genetically disposed to abusing alcohol, and does not choose to be addicted, does it follow that we should do anything to facilitate drunkeness in an alcoholic?

Is it not a loving act to help them overcome their genetic dispositon and remain sober?

Likewise, why is it not a loving act to help a person with homosexual tendancies to overcome their dispositions and live a chaste life?

I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. t.

The Bible teaches us to love PERSONS. Part of loving a person with a disposition towards evil is to help them overcome that evil and make good choices.

Do not make the mistake of assuming that just because a person has a biological disposition towards something that they are slaves to it and cannot overcome it with the help of God.

I think that it really does a disservice to those with homosexual tendencies to say that they are absolute slaves to their passions and are not capable of willful choice on if they commit sexual acts or not.

 

[rwoehmke]

The basic problem here is the assumption that Confirmation as a sacrament in the Catholic Church is an affirmation of one’s desire to be a Catholic. Confirmation is a Sacrament in which Jesus acts to strengthen the gifts of the Holy Spirit received in Baptism, to increase sanctifying grace, and to prepare one to live one’s faith. The concept that Confirmation is basically an affirmation of one’s intention to be a Catholic is a non-Catholic perspective on Confirmation, which is not a sacrament in most non-Catholic churches who practice it.

 

[rlg94086]

The basic problem here is the assumption that Confirmation as a sacrament in the Catholic Church is an affirmation of one’s desire to be a Catholic. Confirmation is a Sacrament in which Jesus acts to strengthen the gifts of the Holy Spirit received in Baptism, to increase sanctifying grace, and to prepare one to live one’s faith. The concept that Confirmation is basically an affirmation of one’s intention to be a Catholic is a non-Catholic perspective on Confirmation, which is not a sacrament in most non-Catholic churches who practice it.

As a convert, I concede that I may have a lingering non-Catholic understanding of Confirmation. I read through the Catholic Encyclopedia, and I was surprised that the confirmands don’t even need to be in a state of grace (though they should be).

newadvent.org/cathen/04215b.htm

Recipient

Confirmation can be conferred only on those who have already been baptized and have not yet been confirmed. As St. Thomas says:Confirmation is to baptism what growth is to generation. Now it is clear that a man cannot advance to a perfect age unless he has first been born; in like manner, unless he has first been baptized he cannot receive the Sacrament of Confirmation (ST III:72:6).
They should also be in the state of grace; for the Holy Ghost is not given for the purpose of taking away sin but of conferring additional grace. This condition, however, refers only to lawful reception; the sacrament is validly received even by those in mortal sin.

So, I guess the answer is “no problem…you don’t have to agree with the Church.”

 

[fix]

As a convert, I concede that I may have a lingering non-Catholic understanding of Confirmation. I read through the Catholic Encyclopedia, and I was surprised that the confirmands don’t even need to be in a state of grace (though they should be).

newadvent.org/cathen/04215b.htm

So, I guess the answer is “no problem…you don’t have to agree with the Church.”

Maybe someone can explain it to me but it seems to mean the candidate is not barred by law but that does not mean they receive grace from the sacrament. That would not seem to happen until the mortal sin is absolved.

But, I could have it all wrong.

 

[Hastrman]

I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

Homicidal maniacs are born that way, possibly. Alcoholics are provably born that way. Does the fact they have an innate predilection for a sinful act (murder, over-drinking) mean it’s okay for them to do it?

The Bible teaches nothing at all about accepting people who persist in sin. And Love is not a feeling. If anything, it usually involves going against your feelings. Love means “willing the good,” in this instance, “willing that others should not sin.” All acceptance is contingent upon repentance for sin–Jesus did not say to the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery, “I accept you the way you are.” He said, “Go and sin no more.”

Besides which, saying two people are married doesn’t make them married, if they are not of the proper variety of people–male and female–to be married. You can put batteries into a device however you like, but it only works when the polarities line up. Humans did not make marriage, anymore than they made male and female.

I don’t think you should get confirmed until you’ve had a lot more formation in the faith.

 

[grandfather]

I am a high school sophomore and preparing for Confirmation. I will be confirmed this April. I am ready to take the next step in my faith and accept Catholicism as my religion, not just the religion my parents gave me. I love being Catholic. However, there are a few issues with the Church that I do not agree with. I am strongly anti-abortion and pro-life. I am also against capital punishment. However, I do not agree with the Church’s stance on gay marriage. First of all, let me say that I am not a lesbian. Aside from that, I do believe that homosexuals are born that way and do not choose to be gay or lesbian. I also think that we should love and accept them like we do anyone; like the Bible teaches. So, my question is: Is it alright to have conflicting ideas on some major issues? Is it a sin to go against the Church in this way? May I still be confirmed even though I feel this way? I am quite confused about this and would like any advice as soon as possible. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.