Can I get my baby baptized without offending my priest?

[TBZ]

My wife and I are soon to have our first baby. Our parish priest, who we both like a lot (and also married us) said he doesn’t want to baptize the baby right away. We’d like for him to do it, and know he’d be offended if we didn’t ask him, but I also want to have the baby baptized immediately.

Can we get a “surreptitious” baptism done, and then have another one later with our priest? I’m not comfortable confronting him on this, and we would be in trouble if we felt uncomfortable going to our parish if we fell on the outs with Father. Thanks!

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

No, you can’t have a “surreptitious” baptism and then another baptism by your priest. Baptism is a one-time sacrament and a solemn Christian initiation. It is not a cultural baby-welcoming ceremony at which parents parcel out the honors to those they like. (“Honey, my best friend from high school has to be the godmother.” / “Okay, dear, and Fr. Q would be totally offended if we didn’t have him do the baptism.”)

The Church teaches that “Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptized within the first few weeks” (canon 867 §1, Code of Canon Law). Take the canon to this priest and ask him for a date for the baptism within a few weeks of the baby’s birth. If he refuses or puts you off or tells you he’s not able to do it right now, smile and say cheerfully, “We would have liked for you to do the baptism since you are the priest who married us, but we totally understand if you don’t have time right now. Please give us the name of another priest or deacon who can help us.” If he again refuses, say politely, “Okay, we’ll call the diocese for a recommendation. Thank you for your time, Father.”