Can I give gifts to invalidly-married relatives?

[CM3]

I understand that we shouldn’t give a wedding gift to a couple who has just been invalidly married as it would show support and approval for their invalid marriage. I have a few relatives who have been in invalid marriages for years, some are second marriages. I was wondering if some gifts are not appropriate to give for birthdays and Christmas too (e.g., items to decorate their homes, joint gifts for the couple to do together, even gift baskets for them both to share, etc.)? Are there any restrictions in gift giving long after the couple has already wed?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

The reason that some recommend against giving gifts to those who are entering presumptively-invalid marriages is because it appears hypocritical to give a gift in honor of a marriage one must presume invalid and believes in conscience that he should not attend. In other words, it is the reasoning behind the witholding of the gift that is important, not a hard-and-fast rule against giving gifts altogether to the invalidly-married.

With that distinction in mind, it should become clear that gift-giving in such a situation is a matter of prudential judgment that should be exercised according to the individual circumstances. So, for example, this could mean giving gifts for Christmas and birthdays but not for wedding anniversaries. It could also indicate that certain gifts appropriate for the validly married may not be appropriate for the invalidly married (e.g., a weekend getaway to a romantic bed-and-breakfast). Please note in this case though that the emphasis is not on giving a gift that the couple “shares” but on not giving a gift that encourages the ongoing state of adultery.