Can I go to confession?

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txjeff874

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I got married civilly. I had to do this for certain reasons.

I want to normalize my relationship through the Church, but after speaking to a priest today, he said I was barred from going to confession.

I asked my friends if they had ever heard of this but they said they had never heard of this.

I know I am barred from going to communion. I do not wish to profane the blessed sacrament, but I can’t understand why I would be barred from confession.

I know I have to live with my wife as brother and sister, but I am dismayed that I possibly would be barred from confession. It’s the sacrament that I depend the most.

Could someone please shed some light on this for me?

Thank you very much.
 
The priest said as long as the civil marriage remains irregular I couldn’t goto the sacraments. After reading the posts. I can understand why he said. Thanks for the help.
 
Anyone can go to Confession but the priest through the grace of Our Lord can only forgive your sins which have already been committed. If you are living in a situation which is outside of the Church then you are constantly committing the sin and therefore you need to resolve that aspect. You can always go to Confession but perhaps not be able to take Holy Communion? You need to resolve your situation. Hope this helps.
 
I am in a similar situation. I cannot go to confession because that would mean repenting for marrying my wife. I am sorry for this sin now, but I cannot go back and unmarry her. I cannot punish my wife (and stepson) for my failings. I accept I am barred from the sacraments.
 
medgar10 said:
I am in a similar situation. I cannot go to confession because that would mean repenting for marrying my wife. I am sorry for this sin now, but I cannot go back and unmarry her. I cannot punish my wife (and stepson) for my failings. I accept I am barred from the sacraments.
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So what is keeping you from regularizing your marriage in the Church? Unless there is a serious objection from your wife vis a vie the Church, you shouldn’t have a problem.
If it has to do with not making your situation public, there should be no problem. Many marriages are done in church with no one other than those concerned attending. It is more common than you think!
 
medgar10 said:
I am in a similar situation. I cannot go to confession because that would mean repenting for marrying my wife. I am sorry for this sin now, but I cannot go back and unmarry her. I cannot punish my wife (and stepson) for my failings. I accept I am barred from the sacraments.
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You can always go to Confession but perhaps not Holy Communion. I pray you resolve the situation that prevents you from receiving Holy Communion. God Bless and do what is necessary to partake of Our Lord again.
 
No, I cannot go to confession. That requires repentance, and I cannot repent and unmarry my wife, I cannot undo what is done and so punish her. I committed the sin, not her.
 
medgar10 said:
No, I cannot go to confession. That requires repentance, and I cannot repent and unmarry my wife, I cannot undo what is done and so punish her. I committed the sin, not her.
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What do you mean ‘unmarry’? Some things cannot be undone. The Church would not ask you to raise someone from the dead if you had killed them.

Look, you are not being asked to stop sharing a house or a life with her. What they would ask is for you to live like brother and sister with your wife. Which is no different than if you or she became seriously ill in a way that meant you could no longer be together as husband and wife.

Yes it might well hurt her, but your relationship with God is infinitely more important than that surely. I mean ending an adulterous relationship could be just as painful. Making your wife feel good is not going to save your soul - or hers - or set a good example for your children if you have any.
 
I was not allowed to go to confession or receive the sacraments until my marriage was convalidated. Which was a bit surprising for me, as the previous priest told me it was okay as long as I intended to get the marriage normalized. It was surprising and unpleasant, but I dealt with it and got it done and everything worked out fine.
 
What is “convalidated,” I wonder? I have never heard this term. I am interested in more info if possible
 
mayogirl25 said:
You can always go to Confession but perhaps not Holy Communion. I pray you resolve the situation that prevents you from receiving Holy Communion. God Bless and do what is necessary to partake of Our Lord again.
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He can go to confession but not receive absolution until the marriage is normalized.
 
medgar10 said:
What is “convalidated,” I wonder? I have never heard this term. I am interested in more info if possible
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All that means is getting married in the church. If you are married civilly, and weren’t married in the church, your marriage isn’t valid in the church. Convalidation is the process of getting married in the church. Sometimes people call it ‘getting the marriage blessed’ but that’s a misnomer, a convalidation is not a blessing but the actual marriage ceremony by a deacon or priest to make the marriage sacramental.
 
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