Can I go to my sister's wedding?

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requiemaeturnum:
Do not attend the wedding. You can attend the reception afterwords though.
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A query - it would seem to me that it would be go or not go to both - not to one the reception only.

My reason for asking is that the reception follows on from, and is a consequence of the wedding, not a separate event.
 
Go Go, GO!!!

Don’t even think of not going. Anamchara’s right. You are her portal to the Church later on. Let her come to you.

Meanwhile, go, and wear the ugly dress she’s picked for bridesmaids. You’ll be glad you did (EXCEPT for the dress 😉 )

Remember, you can’t undo not going.

John
 
anamchara said:
Family unity is very important, especially if you want to have an influence later in their marriage and even more important when they begin to have children. You do not want to shut out your family. We are not Amish. We don’t shun people.

There is plenty of information from the OP that makes this decision easy. If you and your family did not practice any sort of religion while you were growing up then your decision to not go would be incredibly hurtful and jolting. They are not used to this sort of mindset. They wouldn’t understand. It would only cause to alienate them from your life or live with this ongoing resentment.

Don’t risk breaking up the family. Depending on what the relationship is between the sisters, you could talk about the struggles you are having with this. If that might hurt her as well, then don’t say anything. Be happy for her, supportive and loving. In time, you might find yourself taking her children to Church with you or even your sister and brother-inlaw.

And please no lectures from posters about how the faith and truth can be hurtful and that’s just the way it is :rolleyes:
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It seems to me that not going to a relative’s wedding doesn’t mean that you must then forever after cut yourself off from that relative.

When my father (a divorced Protestant) chose to marry a lapsed Catholic who’d already been divorced twice, we did not attend his wedding. I told him that although I loved him very much, I could not in good conscience attend a wedding which I believed to be invalid, because I believed that to be celebrating and condoning sin.

He was furious with me, in fact was quite angry for months. But he still came to my daughter’s birthday party, and came to visit me in the hospital after my son was born. When he divorced six months after his wedding, I was there to help him pick up the pieces.

I don’t think it’s helped my father any (in fact, he’s now living with a woman outside of marriage, one I suspect he may have been seeing during his marriage), but I know in my heart that I did the right thing by not celebrating and condoning sin.

Jesus did eat with sinners – but he didn’t condone their sin. The whole purpose of a wedding is to ***celebrate ***the marriage being performed.

Sharing a meal is in no way akin to celebrating an invalid union, and refusing attendance at a wedding does not mean that the lines of communication with your loved one must be severed.
 
wanner47 said:
It seems to me that not going to a relative’s wedding doesn’t mean that you must then forever after cut yourself off from that relative.

When my father (a divorced Protestant) chose to marry a lapsed Catholic who’d already been divorced twice, we did not attend his wedding. I told him that although I loved him very much, I could not in good conscience attend a wedding which I believed to be invalid, because I believed that to be celebrating and condoning sin.

He was furious with me, in fact was quite angry for months. But he still came to my daughter’s birthday party, and came to visit me in the hospital after my son was born. When he divorced six months after his wedding, I was there to help him pick up the pieces.

I don’t think it’s helped my father any (in fact, he’s now living with a woman outside of marriage, one I suspect he may have been seeing during his marriage), but I know in my heart that I did the right thing by not celebrating and condoning sin.

Jesus did eat with sinners – but he didn’t condone their sin. The whole purpose of a wedding is to ***celebrate ***the marriage being performed.

Sharing a meal is in no way akin to celebrating an invalid union, and refusing attendance at a wedding does not mean that the lines of communication with your loved one must be severed.
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Very well said. Very well said, indeed!
 
Based on what you have posted, it would not be permissible to attend/assist at your sister’s wedding. Conceding for the moment that your sister is not bound to the precept of the Church concerning marriage laws, the fact that she was married civilly in her first marriage opens up another can of worms. To give you furthur insight, let us suppose that two adult, non-practising(at least at the moment) Catholics want to get married by the justice of the peace for whatever reason and go and get married. Some time later, one or both of the party realises how they are wrong, that it is an illicit union, etc, and want to make it right in the eyes of God by either getting out of it or getting married before a priest. If they want to get married before the priest, it is probably a relatively simple matter, as long as neither of them had been married before.

If they want to get out of this marriage entirely, then it gets more complicated. It is not just a matter of going to confession, confessing getting married before a justice of the peace, receiving absolution and a penance, and you are on your merry way. The pastor/priest would have to take your case/situation before the ordinary/diocesan bishop for him to review it. If the bishop can clearly see that no marriage was contracted, then he can declare it so as null-no sacramental marriage-one is free to marry.

If, on the other hand, he sees that it is complex, then he would be bound to hand it over to his marriage tribunal and it would be handled just like a marriage that was witnessed by a duly authorised Catholic priest. Sadly, it is not always black and white, even though it sometimes is.

This is pre-Vatican II teaching. I suspect it may have changed since then.

Besides all this, a marriage between two protestants, whether before civil authorities or their own ministers, is considered to be a valid marriage. If both were baptised, than it becomes a sacramental marriage, which cannot be broken. Civil authorities can not break it. Only the Catholic Church could review the situation and give an authoritative decision on the matter.
We must please God rather than offend him to please man. I think some posters above have given creedence by their examples of not going to similiar happenings and having the other person come to seeing the truth after a while. Please pray on this and witness to Christ and his teaching. You will be rewarded for it in the end.
 
imagine yourself in a room full of sinners, what luck! this is exactly where you’re suppose to be. spiritual warfare.

you know who they are, they know who you are. what better conditions do you want.

go and take with you all the love that the Nazarene has given to you. remember it has been freely given unto you, freely give unto them.

lots of luck
 
OP- How about, instead of collecting opinions, you go with the opinion of one apologist, and perhaps your parish priest or confessor? Then, with prayer, you can make up your own mind.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=167154

But I suppose, despite the fact that Michelle Arnold is an apologist for Catholic Answers, that will not be good enough for some.
 
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