Can I have dispensation of marriage as my main wedding ceremony?

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I am getting married to a non-believer who was baptized as Anglican when he was a baby mainly because of his grandmother.
I want a Catholic priest, who is a friend of my family back home for a very long time, to officiate our wedding, and I am wondering whether we can have “ceremony” of dispensation of marriage as our main wedding ceremony.

The priest said since he is baptized, we can get have “Catholic Rite of Marriage outside of Mass,” not the full-on nuptial mass, but my fiance feels uncomfortable about the idea as he won’t understand much of what is going on. He agreed to do wedding preparation with our local priest, however. Since it is a very special day for him as well, I don’t want to insist on doing everything the way I want to do it.

So, I was wondering whether dispensation of marriage ritual can be our main wedding ceremony with bride walking down the aisle with father etc., and what the ceremony would involve - hymns? songs? readings?

(Please don’t say I shouldn’t marry non-Catholic, and I should insist on doing it in Catholic way as much as possible. I don’t believe in pushing religion to someone else. My personal conviction is that by being a considerate and warm Catholic person, I am showing others the Catholic way of life, and this might have better long-term effect.)

Thank you in advance for your help and advice.
 
I’m a little confused about your post. You seem to want a Catholic priest to officiate but do not want a “Catholic Rite of Marriage outside the Mass”. I think a priest would have to do that or a nuptial mass. I do not think there is a third option if you want said priest involved.

I hope this reply helps (or at least isn’t way off base!).

I also hope for all the best for you and your beloved!🙂
 
Thank you for your reply and sorry about my confusing post. 🙂
I was wondering whether dispensation of marriage proceeding, which needs to be done by a Catholic priest as well, can stand alone as a kind of wedding ceremony or not, or it is simply not an option so I’d have to have a civil ceremony and get dispensation separately.
 
pichon said:
Thank you for your reply and sorry about my confusing post. 🙂
I was wondering whether dispensation of marriage proceeding, which needs to be done by a Catholic priest as well, can stand alone as a kind of wedding ceremony or not, or it is simply not an option so I’d have to have a civil ceremony and get dispensation separately.
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Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the Church is clear on the matter that civil marriage ceremonies, even between two Catholics intending to be married by a priest at a later time, does not constitute a valid marriage.

I saw a question relating to the scenario I mentioned on these forums and the answer given was that any relations between that couple would still be fornication. I would certainly discuss that with a priest before getting a civil marriage, and see if he might have a better understanding since this situation includes a non-Catholic spouse. I hope this helps.
 
Are you asking if merely having permission to marry a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony would suffice, rather than having the actual ceremony? A dispensation is simply permission to do something outside of the norm, so no, merely having permission does not take the place of actually doing the thing which is being permitted. If I have completely misunderstood your question, could you please clarify what you are actually trying to ask?
 
Thanks Juno, you have understood my question and I think my question is being answered. I thought dispensation involves something more than just getting permission to marry non-Catholic, or in non-Catholic way. Thank you for your reply.
 
Well, I hope someone with more expertise responds!

I think “dispensation of marriage procedure” means permission to marry outside the Church. Therefore it wouldn’t be a wedding or marriage and you would need to be married at another locale.

As far as ceremony goes, that would be up to the diocese/bishop, I would think. But you wouldn’t be legally married yet until you did the “official” marriage, and I think the rights of marriage and consummation would have to wait until the civil ceremony is through.

Again, I am no expert! I am just a bride to be married this Saturday!

Best wishes!
 
pichon said:
Thanks Juno, you have understood my question and I think my question is being answered. I thought dispensation involves something more than just getting permission to marry non-Catholic, or in non-Catholic way. Thank you for your reply.
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I had a suspicion that you may have misunderstood what dispensation meant. I am glad my answer helped. I wish you and your fiancé much joy. Congratulations on your pending marriage.
 
pichon said:
I am getting married to a non-believer who was baptized as Anglican when he was a baby mainly because of his grandmother.
I want a Catholic priest, who is a friend of my family back home for a very long time, to officiate our wedding, and I am wondering whether we can have “ceremony” of dispensation of marriage as our main wedding ceremony.

The priest said since he is baptized, we can get have “Catholic Rite of Marriage outside of Mass,” not the full-on nuptial mass, but my fiance feels uncomfortable about the idea as he won’t understand much of what is going on. He agreed to do wedding preparation with our local priest, however. Since it is a very special day for him as well, I don’t want to insist on doing everything the way I want to do it.

So, I was wondering whether dispensation of marriage ritual can be our main wedding ceremony with bride walking down the aisle with father etc., and what the ceremony would involve - hymns? songs? readings?

(Please don’t say I shouldn’t marry non-Catholic, and I should insist on doing it in Catholic way as much as possible. I don’t believe in pushing religion to someone else. My personal conviction is that by being a considerate and warm Catholic person, I am showing others the Catholic way of life, and this might have better long-term effect.)

Thank you in advance for your help and advice.
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If you want to ‘show others the Catholic way of life’ then getting married in the way the Catholic Church asks is an important part of that.

I am sure if you and your fiancé have a talk with the priest, he can explain what is involved in the marriage ceremony. If you do a google search for ‘Catholic Rite of Marriage outside of mass’ you can even find the prayers and parts of the ceremony word for word.

Have you or your fiancé ever attended a wedding outside of Mass? Either Catholic or Anglican or another Christian wedding? Even most atheists will have attended enough religious wedding ceremonies in their life to have an idea of what goes on.
 
pichon said:
Thanks Juno, you have understood my question and I think my question is being answered. I thought dispensation involves something more than just getting permission to marry non-Catholic, or in non-Catholic way. Thank you for your reply.
Click to expand...
There is permission required (from the ordinary) for a Catholic to marry a baptised non-Catholic, but the form of marriage is to be celebrated with an ordinary, priest, or deacon, and two witnesses. (Canons 1108 and 1124). But a dispensation could be sought for a non Catholic canonical form:

Canon 1127 §2. If grave difficulties hinder the observance of canonical form, the local ordinary of the Catholic party has the right of dispensing from the form in individual cases, after having consulted the ordinary of the place in which the marriage is celebrated and with some public form of celebration for validity. It is for the conference of bishops to establish norms by which the aforementioned dispensation is to be granted in a uniform manner.
 
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