Can I legally disown my extended family?

[wumpiesmommy]

Long story, my maternal side of the family told vicious lies that caused DSS to put my 2 children in foster care without cause. They’ve always hated me, moreso since I became Catholic.
Is there any way to annul non-marital family relations? Or for an adult to be adopted by another couple into a new family? I tried everything to make peace and they give me war. Jesus says “anyone who leaves his father and mother etc to follow me will be repaid 100 times over”. Well, I want to leave them all to practice Catholicism freely and without fear.
What does Jesus mean by “leave” them? I’d move out of state if I could afford it but I can’t even afford to leave my parents’ house until the boys come back by December bc foster care and legal fees are costing hubby and me a fortune and I’m on disability for major depression.
I’d love to make a loud clear statement that I HAVE A NEW FAMILY, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, by divorcing the aunts and parents and cousins or annulling or formally breaking any family ties. Is there a right way to do this? How can I get away from these people? My husband can’t work bc he’s too busy with things DSS requires to get our kids back. Is there like a Catholic shelter for families anywhere in the U.S.? These people are toxic to my kids and it’s my duty to protect them. We’ll move anywhere.

 

[lily22]

First of all, lies are just lies. Go, get your kids back. Write down what was lied about. Then, call DHS and correct the lies.

If your in-laws keep lying about you, just say “they lie about me”.

There’s so much liars and lying in the world, that it has distorted DHS. They are chaos.
Crimes are not being prosecuted.

Walk in and talk to the agencies personally.

The truth always comes out-- so even if the whole world “sees” you as a “liar” for standing up and fighting for your kids, and the “world” decides to disown you for being brave, courageous, determined, and never giving up on your kids, so be it.

 

[MaryT777]

First of all, lies are just lies. Go, get your kids back. Write down what was lied about. Then, call DHS and correct the lies.

If your in-laws keep lying about you, just say “they lie about me”.

There’s so much liars and lying in the world, that it has distorted DHS. They are chaos.
Crimes are not being prosecuted.

Walk in and talk to the agencies personally.

The truth always comes out-- so even if the whole world “sees” you as a “liar” for standing up and fighting for your kids, and the “world” decides to disown you for being brave, courageous, determined, and never giving up on your kids, so be it.

This is great advice.
Mary.

 

[Viki63]

You could talk with a priest about your concerns.
You cannot “divorce” your family, but many people have found it necessary to cut ties with their parents, siblings or others when they were causing disruption to their marriage or children. Obviously, it would be hard to do while living in their home.
It’s hard to understand why your husband cannot work while he tries to comply with the requirements to get your children back. Surely working to support the family would be encouraged?
By the way, you have a new family: your husband and children. They should be your first concern.

 

[wumpiesmommy]

He does work in what time he has recycling metal independently for a few local companies but DSS keeps people BUSY fulfilling their case plans. He spends 14 hours a week complying plus he has to drive me to all my classes bc I can’t drive with narcolepsy and we go to confession and Mass and I have visitation 4 hours once a week 45 minutes away and 3 hours another and on those days and when we’re low on gas he has to ride the bus, which takes hours in town! So it’s impossible with a constantly rotating schedule to have time and structure for a set a schedule plus sanity to work. He looked for work for awhile but it’s haaaard to find work in our town where everyone’s a doctor or lawyer.

 

[sirach2v4]

Legally? I don’t think this is the place to solve your problems. You need an attorney, or you should have had one long ago, when the children were taken away from you.

I sympathize with your desires, but you’re not telling us what possible basis there was for DSS to consider you a threat to the children and have them removed. Knowing nothing about such a proceeding, I don’t know if there was given a way for you to get your children back.

It’s nearly universal that parents love their children but it doesn’t happen all the time. I don’t know if you have visitation rights, etc. Instead of fighting, in itself, it seems that you have take a good hard look at yourself and see what you need to improve. If you do not have the means to provide for these children, then, realistically, I don’t know what actual chance you have.

My sister walked away from my mother and myself many years ago, without any formality. She had the bad example of others in the family who also just walked away. I keep telling myself, as I now tell you, that according to Jesus Christ, we need to forgive our relatives, who may have done something wrong to us. I’m in the same boat you are, except that I had to take care of my mother for over 12 years until her death. I was forced to quit my job, move to another state, and live on a vastly small pension, and now, retirement. I’ve lost well over $1 million in lifetime earnings because of my sister’s action. I don’t hope to ever get that back or to get the 12 years of my life back, etc. I believe in God and I believe that he will settle the scores, in the future.

There are no guarantees that life will be fair. As Christians, we are guaranteed to have to suffer in this life.

Perhaps you will be reunited when your children become of legal age.

 

[sirach2v4]

The other thought that comes to mind is that you are trying to retaliate against your relatives.
To paraphrase your post, you’re trying to prove how much you despise your relatives.

Jesus tells us not to retaliate, but to turn the other cheek. It’s quite possible that your relatives have told “vicious lies.” That’s what happened to Jesus before the Sanhedrin. He didn’t say anything in his own defense.

Right now, just to read your post, your highest priority should be to deal with the issue of your depression and with stabilizing your income. Perhaps you don’t need a lawyer, but instead maybe you need truth. Put an end to those sleepless nights and start building your life again and make sure that you are truthful and living a life which anyone can see is a holy, peaceful, and stable life. Instead of retaliating, just live a life that proves that either they were wrong all along or that you have changed for the better.

Jesus said, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

 

[Sereta]

An adult can’t emancipate from their parents but you can move so that way they won’t have interference in your life.
You need to find a way to move out,no matter what.
Maybe you could find a government assisted housing arraignment?
It would also be a good idea to do some self examination and see if there is any truth to what they are saying.There might be no truth,but everyone can improve as parents in some manner.

 

[EasterJoy]

…I’m on disability for major depression…

In that case, work to let go of your animosity and concentrate only on taking care of yourself and your husband and on providing a safe and secure landing spot for your children.

Forgiveness is not about excusing or minimizing offenses suffered. Forgiveness is not returning an unrepentant offender to a position of trust. Forgiveness is letting go of the desire to retaliate and being willing to hope for the rehabilitation of the offender.

Your emotional plate is full; you do not have inner resources to spend on animosity, even towards those who have earned your animosity. Ask God to forgive them and to keep you and yours safe from them. Other than that, think of them as little as possible, turning your mind instead to those who love you, those you have to be thankful for. You cannot “not think” a bad or negative or counter-productive thought. You can teach yourself to put a good or positive or productive thought into its place.

If you are being treated for your depression with some sort of talk therapy (as I greatly hope you are), then talk to your counselor about how to let go of the attacks on you and move on with the rest of your life. What you do not want is an obsession with how awful some awful person really is to wear a groove into your train of thought. That’s not what you want going through your mind. Get some help in re-training yourself to turn your thoughts towards good things, making that your habit.