Can i make my First Confession while being bound to be Protestant by parents?

[Lead_Me_Home]

I have been in RCIA since January, and I was hoping to be recieved into the Church in August. My parents refuse to let me be recieved into the Church until I graduate (after I turn 18). Can I make my first confession knowing I won’t be recieved into the Church until a year later. Can I go against my parents at 18 and make my first confession and renounce my membership in a protestant church. I have been patiently waiting and hoping and seeking God for 5 years. I love my Catholic faith, and will never give it up, but I am hurt.

How do I follow God and honor my father and mother?

I am hurt, sad, and disappointed, but my faith remains.
:sad_bye::sad_bye::nope::nope::sad_yes:

 

[Monica4316]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with opposition to your conversion

It sounds like you are already a Catholic at heart! Have you spoken to your priest about whether it would be right for you to make your first Confession, or whether that would be counted as disrespect towards your parents? I’m sorry I don’t know for sure

Technically, I think people become Catholic when they are confirmed/make a profession of faith, and receive the Eucharist… maybe you can make your first Confession in August, and then wait a year before being confirmed, etc? I mean, if you were already validly baptized… that way your soul would be cleansed of all sin, but you would still become Catholic when you’re 18

but I really don’t know… maybe someone else knows… pray about this and I suggest talking to your priest…
God bless!!

 

[Apryl]

I have been in RCIA since January, and I was hoping to be recieved into the Church in August. My parents refuse to let me be recieved into the Church until I graduate (after I turn 18). Can I make my first confession knowing I won’t be recieved into the Church until a year later. Can I go against my parents at 18 and make my first confession and renounce my membership in a protestant church. I have been patiently waiting and hoping and seeking God for 5 years. I love my Catholic faith, and will never give it up, but I am hurt.

How do I follow God and honor my father and mother?

You always want to honor your parents! As a minor, you have to do as they say.

(As an adult, sometimes, ‘honoring’ your parents doesn’t exactly mean to do as they say. It’s easier now)

I am so happy for you that you LOVE your Catholic Faith. There are so many who take faith, in all it’s beauty, for granted. The Sacraments are special

I would hate for you to take part of a sacrament and have any negative impression of it later on. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, or how long any of us have, but let’s hope that you will have lots of time to take part in the Sacrament of Penance after you have reached the Age of Majority and your parents have said it’s ok:thumbsup:

Let your behavior and your prayers lead them to join you in the fullness of the church. Please don’t do anything to hurt your relationship with them, or to keep you from honoring them.

Welcome to the church!

 

[Monica4316]

Until you become Catholic, you can also go to Adoration this helped me so much as I was converting. It’s a great way to prepare for your first Eucharist

 

[fkjuliano]

Is it an actual Church teaching that someone under the age of 18 cannot be received into the Church without their parents’ permission, or is this some kind of ecumenical fundamentalism? When someone who is well past the age of reason makes the choice to follow Jesus Christ into His holy Church, no human being should be allowed to stop it. Besides, what if instead of Protestants the parents were radical atheists or adherents of the Church of Satan? Would their wishes still be followed then?

 

[stealthy1]

It’s not Church law or anything like that, but you are breaking one of the Ten Commandments if you anger your parents by doing something they didn’t want you to do to begin with. That being said, its not forbidden for you to go into the Sacramental (at least to the degree of my knowledge) as long as you know what its for. If you do happen to go, and your parents are not as happy, you can confess that to the priest as well.

Eucharistic Adoration is another good one. When I was at RCIA I took every opportunity to expose myself to His presence and His love, just by being in Churches, praying the Rosary, that sort of thing.

I pray that you will find the answer you will need.
Gabriel

 

[choy]

Is it an actual Church teaching that someone under the age of 18 cannot be received into the Church without their parents’ permission, or is this some kind of ecumenical fundamentalism? When someone who is well past the age of reason makes the choice to follow Jesus Christ into His holy Church, no human being should be allowed to stop it. Besides, what if instead of Protestants the parents were radical atheists or adherents of the Church of Satan? Would their wishes still be followed then?

in a legalistic sense, yes. a minor is still under the care of parents and thus they would have the right to this. it may not be a moral reason behind it, but it could be a legal reason

also, the age of reason doesn’t mean you can make decisions like an adult.

 

[AJV]

It’s not Church law or anything like that, but you are breaking one of the Ten Commandments if you anger your parents by doing something they didn’t want you to do to begin with.

But if it is conversion related, it is not morally wrong to go against one’s parents, though one must be respectful.

I have been in RCIA since January, and I was hoping to be recieved into the Church in August. My parents refuse to let me be received into the Church until I graduate (after I turn 18). Can I make my first confession knowing I won’t be recieved into the Church until a year later. Can I go against my parents at 18 and make my first confession and renounce my membership in a protestant church. I have been patiently waiting and hoping and seeking God for 5 years. I love my Catholic faith, and will never give it up, but I am hurt.

How do I follow God and honor my father and mother?

From personal experience, it is quite hard to go against one’s parents in this way. But I would encourage you to pray. My father was an elder in a Protestant church and would not have contemplated one of his children, much less , the then 17 year old, attempting to become Catholic. But miraculously two months before Easter, he relented, and most surprising of all, didn’t even lecture me.

I would encourage you as soon as you are of legal age to make the jump and join the Church - with regard, though, for your particular situation, which only you can judge. If for example, it will not cause that much friction, but severe disappointment to family and nothing more than cutting remarks from family, refusal to take you to a Catholic church, etc. then go ahead - if it would be something more serious within the relationship, then perhaps waiting a bit longer until you are financially independent/go to college/etc would be better.

 

[ljubim]

Well back in the day when everybody was converting to Christianity, children did convert against permission of their parents, spouses did convert against permission of their spouses, etc. That’s why in the Bible Our Lord tells us to leave everything behind and follow him, even rebuking the man who just wanted to go bury his father first. It’s your call, but as long as you’re above the age of reason, this is your soul, and your decision, which is sad because your parents should have the well being of your soul on the top of their priorities, but I do understand why they are upset.

You just need to evaluate it from both sides… what if you did officially join the Church? Your home life might turn into hell. Could you handle this maturely and as a strong penance/sacrifice, and use it to grow even stronger, or would it frustrate and upset you, leading you into sin? BUT then you would be able to receive the Eucharist, receive God Himself into your own body, and have your heart one with His Most Sacred one.

To be honest if I were you (I’m 18 now, so I kind of get where you are in your relationship with your parents) I would secretly convert. You could deflect and not lie the way priests did during the Anglican Persecutions. Are you a Catholic priest? No, I am not a Catholic priest (under breath: who doesn’t say the rosary.) Plus, do you already attend Mass? Bingo And even if confession is scheduled on Saturdays, you could arrange for the priest to hear your confession before Mass, and have him help you to keep this secret. I believe many saints did it this way, and when they were found out their own parents made them martyrs I think you can handle less than that, right?

Let me repeat that the Church has NO LEGAL AGE LIMITS besides the age of reason. If you were in England they might say, well once you’re sixteen, and somewhere else they might say, when you’re twenty. Eighteen means nothing where your soul is concerned.

 

[FrDavid96]

I have been in RCIA since January, and I was hoping to be recieved into the Church in August. My parents refuse to let me be recieved into the Church until I graduate (after I turn 18). Can I make my first confession knowing I won’t be recieved into the Church until a year later. Can I go against my parents at 18 and make my first confession and renounce my membership in a protestant church. I have been patiently waiting and hoping and seeking God for 5 years. I love my Catholic faith, and will never give it up, but I am hurt.

How do I follow God and honor my father and mother?

I am hurt, sad, and disappointed, but my faith remains.
:sad_bye::sad_bye::nope::nope::sad_yes:

One can’t go to Confession until just before being received into the Church. In the sacrament of Confession, absolution results-in (indeed, means) reconciliation with God and the Church, so one who is not yet a member of the Church cannot be reconciled to the Church. That’s why confession should occur just before being confirmed and formally received into the Church.

Yes, God wants us to respect and obey our parents, but when the wishes of the parents become an obstacle to God’s graces, we owe our first allegiance to God and His Church.

This isn’t your situation: however, in the case of an infant where one parent want the child baptised, and the other objects, the Church says that the priest should baptise even against the wishes of the objecting parent. The person’s soul (infant, teenager, or adult) takes precedence over the parent’s wishes when these two values are in conflict. At the same time, the Church does not want to interfere with parenting, so outside of danger-of-death, in the case of one who is legally a minor, the wishes of the parents have to be followed. When you turn 18 that changes. Right now, since you are still a minor in legal terms (not Church terms, but legal terms) you should not do anything that outright violates your parents wishes.

That’s a very general answer. What you truly need to do is to have this conversation with your own Catholic priest. He can give you much more specific information for your personal situation.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

I have been in RCIA since January, and I was hoping to be recieved into the Church in August. My parents refuse to let me be recieved into the Church until I graduate (after I turn 18). Can I make my first confession knowing I won’t be recieved into the Church until a year later. Can I go against my parents at 18 and make my first confession and renounce my membership in a protestant church. I have been patiently waiting and hoping and seeking God for 5 years. I love my Catholic faith, and will never give it up, but I am hurt.

How do I follow God and honor my father and mother?

I am hurt, sad, and disappointed, but my faith remains.
:sad_bye::sad_bye::nope::nope::sad_yes:

It is sad, but hold on and pray. By continuing your journy to the Chruch, but following your parents rules God maybe using you to lead them home as well. I am going to assume you have been baptized. So you will need to make confession. It is my understanding that unless you are indanger of dying that you need to wait till you have been received into the Church for confession, or any of the Sacraments.
Your have not much longer to wait you can come into the Church at 18. Until then go to Mass and any other devotion service you can get to. Pray your rosary. Trust in the Lord.

 

[Adeodatus]

Morally, no one can be prevented from joining God’s Church for any reason. So it is not technically immoral to disobey your parents in this manner. By ordering you to remain outside the Church when you know it is the true faith they are ordering you to commit an immorality, and no such order is binding from the standpoint of obedience (just like an actually unjust law does not count as a law).

In other words, you are bound to obey your parents in any matter which does not entail an immorality (even when you disagree with them!). However, in this case you are not so bound. I’m not giving you advice on what to do, just clarifying the moral issue.

 

[Stylites]

Morally, no one can be prevented from joining God’s Church for any reason. So it is not technically immoral to disobey your parents in this manner. By ordering you to remain outside the Church when you know it is the true faith they are ordering you to commit an immorality, and no such order is binding from the standpoint of obedience (just like an actually unjust law does not count as a law).

In other words, you are bound to obey your parents in any matter which does not entail an immorality (even when you disagree with them!). However, in this case you are not so bound. I’m not giving you advice on what to do, just clarifying the moral issue.

Whether the parents are guilty of an immoral act is not clear - what is clear is what FrDavid said above: Generally follow the parents’ wishes until the age of 18.

 

[Monica4316]

It’s not Church law or anything like that, but you are breaking one of the Ten Commandments if you anger your parents by doing something they didn’t want you to do to begin with.

I’m kind of wondering… what about in cases like with St Philomena? Her parents really wanted her to marry, even begged her to… she instead chose to die for Christ… (they wanted her to marry the Emperor, I think, who was anti-Christian… she said no and he had her killed)

 

[choy]

I’m kind of wondering… what about in cases like with St Philomena? Her parents really wanted her to marry, even begged her to… she instead chose to die for Christ… (they wanted her to marry the Emperor, I think, who was anti-Christian… she said no and he had her killed)

i think your questions says it all. the emperor was anti-Christian. the OP’s parents are not. they’re Protestants. not really the worst thing in the world

 

[FrDavid96]

In this situation, it isn’t a matter of “obey your parents” because the parents do not want what is ultimately best for the child. Yet at the same time, the Church has a legal obligation (a legitimate one, not an “unjust law”) to recognize that minors are under the care of their parents.

Keep in mind that the OP has 2 questions, which I’ll take the liberty of paraphrasing:

1. Can I go to confession now, before being received into the Church?
2. After I turn 18 (note the future tense) can I join the Church even if it’s against my parents’ wishes?

The first question is purely liturgical. No, a non-Catholic cannot go to Confession so early in the RCIA process (indeed, before even formally beginning the process).

The second question is a moral one. The answer here is yes. One who is an adult in the eyes of both the Church and the state is not obligated by the commandment to honor his parents if it is a situation where the parents are an obstacle to God’s graces.

 

[bmadamsberry]

I went through something similar before I joined the Church. The priest I spoke to about it, whether to obey my father and mother or to join the Church, told me that if I disobeyed my parents and joined the Church, they would be less receptive to Catholicism. However, if I waited there would be less hurt and they would be more receptive to hearing about my Catholic faith.

 

[smad0142]

It would not be immoral for you to go through the Rite of Initiation even though your parents object. Their authority, just like all other types of legitamite authority, does not have the authority to command people to perform immorality. A religious superiour can not command his inferior to steal, a Confessor may not solicit sex in the Confessional, and your parents could not tell you to commit suicide. So why would you listen to them when they want you to commit spiritual suicide? You have found Jesus in the Most Holy Eucharist and through His Bride, the Church. Will you turn your back on Him and her?

 

[bmadamsberry]

It would not be immoral for you to go through the Rite of Initiation even though your parents object. Their authority, just like all other types of legitamite authority, does not have the authority to command people to perform immorality. A religious superiour can not command his inferior to steal, a Confessor may not solicit sex in the Confessional, and your parents could not tell you to commit suicide. So why would you listen to them when they want you to commit spiritual suicide? You have found Jesus in the Most Holy Eucharist and through His Bride, the Church. Will you turn your back on Him and her?

It isn’t spiritual suicide. He’s not putting off Confirmation forever, just until he is 18. Furthermore, as pointed out by someone in an earlier post, the Church won’t allow someone under 18 to be Confirmed if both parents are against it.

 

[Adeodatus]

i think your questions says it all. the emperor was anti-Christian. the OP’s parents are not. they’re Protestants. not really the worst thing in the world

Sure. It’s just heresy. No big deal.